 via zazzle.com Today I realized it's been over a year since I started this blog. It began as a random project to let me opine about butch fashion, gender expression, etc. Since then, BW has grown to over 1000 unique readers daily (40,000-50,000 monthly!) and been voted About.com's Best Lesbian Blog of the Year. You've commented over 1000 times to my over 150 posts. Wow, dear readers.
I didn't expect to enjoy writing BW this much. Yeah, I love writing. And yeah, I care about these issues. But I wasn't expecting to receive hundreds of emails saying that a blog entry made you think, or made you laugh, or helped you get through your day in some small way. Thank you so much for reading. It means a whole lot to this butch.
I hope this year will be even better. I want to keep writing stuff you enjoy and find relevant, keep giving you solid fashion advice, and keep starting different dialogues about gender and sexual orientation. I want to finally flesh out the Butch Store, have more guest posts, and make occasional video or audio postings. Maybe we'll grow, maybe not. Maybe I'll finally break even on this thing (ha!), maybe not. But regardless, we're all going to have a really freakin' good time and keep building this community of readers, butches and non-butches alike.
Whether you're a new reader or a longtime one: thank you for making this year awesome.
Love, hugs, and fistbumps, Butch Wonders
P.S. Some of you have written asking if I've covered particular topics. This weekend, I'll make an index that should be easier to navigate than the usual post tags, and will help you see what I've written about various things.
P.P.S. Thanks again. You rock.
At the end of each month, I kind of look forward to checking out the list of odd search terms that brought people to BW. Among my favorites for April: - "why does everyone want to be with a butch woman" (Because we're all super hot.)
- "are chukka boots gay" (Only the ones that pair up with other chukka boots.)
- "calvin klein" "they have the" "the tie" ("That is a" "good point." "Indeed, they probably" "have several" "ties.")
- "what happens at the end of the pet milk story by stuart dybek" (The story is literally three pages long. Read it yourself.)
- "do butches ever put dresses on" (Yeah. Wanna see?)
- "butch females & fems having sex videos" (Videos of butches and femmes having sex? Or butches and femmes who own sex videos? So confusing.)
- "what do butch lesbians wear to the beach" (This stuff.)
- "san francisco lesbians tube" (More on these mysterious lesbian tubes... Will this ever stop?)
- "sanfrancisco lesbians tube" (I mean, seriously, people!)
- "s.f. dyketube" (Sigh.)
- "my girlfriend says shes at a friends" (Liar!)
- "lesbian tubes" (Aaack!)
- "why does rachel maddow dress like a man" (Can somebody else please field this one? Just looking at it makes me tired.)
- "butch females are annoying" (But not as annoying as ignorance.)
- "how to encourage a gay hitting on a straight guy" (I'd try something like, "Yo, stop it. That dude's straight.")
- "val" "long distance relationship" (If your significant other's name is "Val," I'd say your search may be a little too specific.)
- "my girlfriend wants an open faced panini sex style
(Um. What?) - "men wearing timberlad boot sock fetish" (What's a weirder fetish, Timberland socks or open-faced paninis? I say it's a toss-up)
- "men hugging each other" (The world's mildest fetish)
- "how to get a butchs attention" (Throw a chukka boot at her.)
- "best way to be butc" (First step: master the spellchec functio.)
- "girls tie guys up and put makeup on them" (Well, yes. But only for Cinco de Mayo.)
- "gay man in Splint" (An unlikely scenario. Gay people's bones are made of titanium and are exceedingly durable.)
- "does forest green shirt and blue undershirt match?" (No.)
- "can you wear dress vest unbuttoned" (Yes, unless it's a formal setting and you're wearing a jacket.)
- "can you wear cufflinks without a suit" (Yes.)
- "can you wear a black shirt under a white button up" (Yes, but you definitely shouldn't.)
- "butch women turn me on" (Well, as we established above, they are super hot, so that's to be expected.)
- "why are lesbians crazy" (Because people keep hiding our lesbian tubes.)
- "what does it mean when man embraces women" (It means he wants an open faced panini sex style.)
Stay tuned for the next thrilling entry. What'll it be? Lesbians in Alaska? A tale of underground dyke communities in far-flung regions of the world? A list of ways butches screw up relationships? These are just a few of the great guest post ideas that your fellow readers are cooking up. I have a feeling you're going to like this feature... That's a wrap for today. Be well, butches!
Dearest Readers, Take out your keyboards and sharpen your wits, because I'm actively soliciting guest posts! I'll keep writing nearly all the stuff on BW, but I think it'd be fun to change it up sometimes (and from the reader survey I gave a few weeks ago, I know you guys would love occasional guest posts, too!). So, I need YOU. If you want to write something for the blog, shoot me an email at butchwonders [at] yahoo [dot] com. You're free to make up your own topic. I'm particularly interested in topics I don't know enough about to write in depth, including:- Drag king life
- Racial issues in the butch community
- What are femme-femme dating relationships like?
- Lesbian life in some non-US city (especially if it's one where I have a lot of readers: London, Toronto, Melbourne, Sydney, Hong Kong, Calgary, Auckland, Calgary, Vancouver, Verdun, or Hamburg).
- The perspective of a trans woman who identifies as butch
- Anything else you think might be interesting!
HFAQ (Hypothetically Frequently Asked Questions): Q: Do I have to use my real name?A: No, but you can if you want to.Q: How long does it have to be?A: Shoot for 200-500 words. But there's no specific length minimum or maximum.Q: What if you don't like what I write?A: Then I won't use it. But I'll have the courtesy to explain why, and you'll be free to resubmit. Q: But I'm straight [or a man, or a femme, etc.]! A: Great! I don't care if you're male, female, neither, straight, bi, gay, queer, fat, skinny, cisgendered, black, brown, or white. If you have anything to say that's relevant to lesbians generally or butchy types specifically, I'd love to hear it. Q: Can I submit pictures? How about a video? A: Yes, and yes! Q: Can I run a topic by you ahead of time?A: Sure.Q: You never write sex stuff. I'll write sex stuff for you! A: Well, in addition to my dandy-style prudishness, I actually like the blog to be SFW (safe for work). But there are some awesome sex bloggers out there, and if you write to me, I'd be happy to recommend a few! (Come to think of it, that would make another great guest post: best lesbian sex blogs, with SFW descriptions...)Q: Who will read it? A: These days, I have about 1500 readers daily. So I'd guess 3000-4000. Possibly more. Q: I already write a blog. Can I cross-post? A: Sure! Just let me know what you're up to.Q: Are you going to have a lot of these?A: I was thinking of one or two a month, depending how many I get.Q: My grammar is horrible.A: Mine isn't too bad. I'll help you edit.Q: But I'm only 18! (Or, I'm 75!) A: Who cares? I get readers of all ages and I love different perspectives.Q: But I hate writing! A: Um, then don't do it. I'll still love you. I hope some of you will think about this--I'd really love to hear from you, and I know a bunch of BW readers would, too!Mucho affection and a kiss on the forehead,BW
I just wanted to take a second to point you toward some blog entries I've enjoyed from other bloggers in the past month or so: - Kyle from Butchtastic talks about the new TSA guidelines for transgender travelers. (Some of this stuff applies to genderqueer travelers, too.) I'm guessing that some trans men, particularly those in the early stages of transition, might flinch at being patted down by a person of the gender they choose to "present." What does this mean, exactly? Check out Kyle's reflections here.
- Maddox of Neutrois Nonsense writes about what it's like having been on a low dose of testosterone for three months. I always enjoy Maddox's writing, and this is particularly interesting.
- Chris, author of The Feral Librarian, writes this candid post about the transgressive nature of wearing a men's suit, reflecting on the (semi-)comfort she's afforded by her own position of privilege and wondering whether her coworkers ever wish that she'd "tone down" the butchness.
- A Butch in the Kitchen offers up a delectable-looking recipe for making Nutella-filled sugar cookies. Then she has to go and taunt us by telling us how good they tasted with coffee. *Drool.*
- G from Can I Help You Sir opines about the plight of young gay Mormons, asking: do they truly understand the life they're choosing?
- Bren, one of the authors of Buzz Cuts and Bustiers, writes an interesting post about her own reflections on her gender identity: what "butch" means to her, the apparent contradictions in how she identifies in different situations, and Allen Ginsberg's "Howl."
I hope you enjoy these as much as I did. All six are great blogs to follow!
Did you miss me? Or is that just wishful thinking on my part? While I was not blogging this past week, I was spending time on one of my multiple otakus*: art! I have an art installation (my first) going up next week (just in a local cafe--don't get too excited), and spent every possible moment finishing a piece (even missing out on Easter with my parents, which sucked because in addition to loving my parents, I really enjoy dyeing eggs**). My art stuff also necessitated a three-hour trip to Home Depot and various other hardware stores to find mounting*** materials that would comply with the cafe's idiosyncratic rules. At Home Depot, I learned three important things: - My Home Depot suffers from an unfortunate dearth of butch lesbians.
- The lumber section of Home Depot smells awesome. Just one whiff made me start fantasizing about home improvement projects--particularly noteworthy considering that I do not own a home and have neither the ability nor the inclination to engage in projects involving nails, saws, screws,**** and the like. (Such things are why this metrosexual butch has a non-metrosexual butch DGF, after all.)
- While Home Depot employees seem skilled in the art of cutting wood, the art of measuring is an altogether different story.
Anyway, I am now back to life at its usual frenetic-but-bearable pace, so brace yourself for my usual frenetic-but-bearable frequency of posts. Much love, BWP.S. Another thing I learned this week: the amount of Robin's Eggs I can consume is limited only by the number I can purchase.* Is that how you pluralize "otaku," or is it already plural? Also, despite the term's frequent association with anime and manga, I am a fan of neither. I learned the term from Seth Godin. ** Holidays are awesome excuses for doing weird shit. Think about it: what other time of year could you color eggs or haul a tree inside, decorate it, and prop it up in your living room without having people think you were nuts? *** Heh heh. She said "mounting."**** Heh heh. She said "screws."
I just wanted to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who voted in the About.com Readers' Choice awards. I'm tremendously proud that Butch Wonders won the Best Lesbian Blog award! I was stoked to be in the top five--but to win? So cool!! I see it as our award, not my award. Sounds cheesy, but it's true. Every time you take a minute to comment on a post or write me an email or send in a picture, you make Butch Wonders a better blog and a stronger community. I hope we'll keep growing, and I hope you'll keep reading. I'm thrilled that so many of you read the blog and find it interesting or useful enough to keep coming back. You are awesome. Thank you!!
Thanks for your great responses to the survey I put up a few days ago. Much appreciated! I love reading readers' suggestions. Remember that question I asked about what kinds of things you'd like to see more of on the blog? Here are the top five: - More posts about butch identity, female masculinity, gender identity, etc. (This was #1 by far!)
- More posts about fashion, hair, etc., for butches
- Interviews with famous or interesting lesbians
- Reviews of books/movies/music
- Occasional video blogs/vlogs
Interesting results, and I'll definitely use that feedback going forward.(Numbers 2, 3, and 4 were *very* close.)
Wow, I haven't blogged for four days! Dagnabbit. I've been thinking a lot about this site, though: how BW can be better, more interesting, etc. I'd also love it to be financially sustainable (i.e. if I could break even for my hours and site costs).
I can't please everyone, and don't try to. But I do care what this site's awesome readers think. Because of you, Butch Wonders has gone from nothing (in May 2011) to over 1000 unique hits every day! I want to keep BW strong and vibrant and growing, and to that end, I'd love your input.
Whether you're a regular reader or have only read a few posts, I hope you'll fill out this wee survey. On the multiple choice ones, you can check as many answers as you want.
Thank you SO much for taking the time to fill this out. I really appreciate it, and will be back to out regularly scheduled blogging soon! I promise!
Love and a fist bump, BW
It's the 28th! Which means it's that special time of the month. You know what I mean, right? [WINK, WINK.] Yes! Time to: ...Pay the rent!...Frontline the dog!...And best of all, share with you all the weird-ass searches that got people to Butch Wonders! Here are some of my February favorites: - "Is it gay to wear rash guards swimming?" (Yes! Totally gay!)
- "how common is it for a butch lesbian to have a relationship with another butch lesbian?" (More common than you might think!)
- "whats the cause of lesbians who are buthc?" (I thikn it has somethign to do wiht buthc lesbina gense.)
- "do butches like to get flowers?" (Yes. Particularly orange tulips. And particularly on Wednesdays. This is just a fact about butch lesbians. Just one of many ways in which we are all exactly alike.)
- "is kd lang a frickin dyke or what?" (Whoa there, bucko! What would make you say that? Jumping to those kind of crazy conclusions is how rumors get started. Plus, she's kissing a guy in the picture below, so she must be straight.)
_- "I hugged a gay man" (Crap. Now you're going to be gay.)
- "What do butch lesbians want?" (Orange tulips.)
- "celebrating gay love on valentines day is a bad" (No! Gay love is a good!)
- "butch lesbian cream tube" (What??)
- "sea bass flavored cat food" (Will turn your cat into a lesbian.)
- "butch dog sweater" (A butch dog doesn't wear a sweater; she wears a fleece. See pic below.)
One heck of a butch mutt, ready to co-pilot. _- "Tied up and put makeup on" (Eek. Talk about a nightmare...)
- "example of logos, ethos and pathos from those winter Sundays" (Somehow, this fails to arouse any nostalgia in me.)
- "using zebra duct tape on dresser" (Highly advisable.)
- "What goes wrong to make a man transgender?" (If he is hugged by a gay man while holding orange tulips wrapped in zebra duct tape, it will make him transgender.)
_Responses to my "bah humbug" post about Valentine's Day ranged from hostility ("maybe you need to get laid") to laughter ("LOL, that was awesome!"). I also got several answers to two questions, and I'll share a few of my favorites:A word or saying you would love to see on a conversation heart: - Ruffian
- Yum, brains!
- Nice boots [<-----I think that one's my favorite]
- You dog
- Not tonight
- Unconditional
- Total dyke
- And one reader, AJ, sent me a picture of some funny ceramic hearts she made!
Just in case you can't read the hearts, they say (starting from upper left and going clockwise): bite me; you bore me; be my play thing; better luck next time. __
The queerest, gayest, or most lesbian way to spend Valentine's Day:
1. ...[W]ith the cats, while watching "Imagine Me and You," cuddling in our underwears. Granted, I have only one set of plaid panties, but I'm hoping that will do. Stereotypes for the win?
2. At a girl bar, listening to politicially themed folk music, gushing about how much you love the woman you're with, then getting mad at her because she didn't respond properly.
3. Having sex with a woman (assuming you are one).
In any case, dear readers, thanks for your amusing emails and comments. I hope you had a great Valentine's Day, whether you love it, hate it, celebrate it, are indifferent to it, or forgot about it completely, and whether you are single, dating, coupled, or stuck in one of those romances Facebook categorizes as "complicated." As far as I'm concerned, you're all my valentines. Thanks for being awesome.
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