With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's a good time to think about your intimate apparel. If my Facebook fans are an indication, most butches wear boxer briefs or regular briefs (men's or women's) during the day and regular boxers to sleep in at night. Some favorite brands: Fruit of the Loom, CK, Starter, and Champion. These are fine go-tos, but I wondered what interesting options were out there, so I did some research, contacted companies and Etsy shops, and got some wares to inspect. Here--in no particular order--are some awesome choices that will let you look great, have some cool style options, and support small businesses. (These make wonderful gifts, too.)  Bonus Pants is a little company out of Portland that offers a ton of fun, loud choices for cotton boxers (including mustaches, donuts, bananas, potatoes, skulls, bacon strips, motorcycles, and more. The owner, Dagny, will make any style with or without an open fly (I tried both and prefer without). They're baggy, plenty long, and don't ride up. Around $18.
 Gripped Basewear is a relatively new company, queer-owned and made in Canada! Their boxer briefs are a little short for my taste and have a bit of a pouch in the front, but they come in a range of terrific colors, their customer service is awesome, and their undies are super soft. If you're pale, unskinny, or don't have much of a butt, these aren't likely to be as attractive on you as they are on Gripped's hot male models. But if you want to show off your stuff and support a queer business, this is an awesome choice. $30.
 Though they only have one style to choose from, Ohganix boxer briefs are also worth a look. They're expensive as heck ($60), but the softest boxer briefs I've ever tried on. Made in California, organic, and probably macrobiotic and gluten-free as well. Mine are 96% hemp and 4% spandex, and have the perfect amount of stretch. (They make "ladies'" stuff, too.)
 Focx is an incredibly hot British brand, and if you've never checked them out, now's the time (even if it's just for the hot pics on their website... yowza!). It's made for women, by women, and has tons of fabrics and two styles: boi shorts (left), and bocxers, which are a little longer. I've tried both. Although I wanted to like the boi shorts best, my torso bears an insufficient resemblance to the models' for it to look great on me. Still, awesome quality at a decent price (£16.99, or about $26). The bocxers, on the other hand, are totally comfy and hot. Try both!
Oh, and did I mention that the Focx models are ridiculously hot?
 I thought these were a little cheesy at first, but I admit that I totally love my tie-dyed boxer briefs from 2 Tie Dye 4. They're a steal at $16, come in boxer briefs (Champion) or boxers (Merona), and add some really fun color to your boring ol' underwear drawer. They're also pre-washed, so despite my worries, they didn't dye my other clothing. Maybe best of all, they come from Hawaii's Big Island. Aloha, butches!
 EX Designs makes boxers in fabrics that include football logos, seasonal prints, and two John Deere tractor prints (yes, really). They're made for men, so there's extra material up front, but they're a deal at $16 for such cool fabrics (and if they don't have a fabric you want, be sure to ask!).
 KLeonardDesigns offers a similar style to EX Designs and Bonus Pants, also with a broad range of fabrics (check out these paw prints), not all of which are pictured in the store. The fit is wider and shorter than others I've tried. Since I like my boxers on the long side, I didn't love the fit, but plenty of butches complain about too-long boxers, and would find these perfect. Good quality, steep price. $72.
 If Fruit of the Looms fit you well but you're interested in something with a little more spice, check out Sexy Delights. Being a fan of the bookish ladies, I chose their reading mudflap girl (left), but in lime green. I think they're super fun, but my DGF maintains that they're tacky. We're probably both right. Tons of print options. $20.
 Last, but decidedly not least, are these great boxers from AmiElisah. They're especially well made (even my hard-to-impress DGF was impressed!), come from Britain, and have little tiny elephants printed all over them. Very cute and wearable both under pants and to bed. £15.00 = $24.
I hope these great boxers and boxer briefs inspire you to spice up your underthings. When I told them about Butch Wonders, the owners of all of these businesses were super enthusiastic about having butch customers. Yay for queer-friendly small businesses!
In addition to the boxers I descibed here, I've also got some awesome, never-worn pairs of boxers and boxer-briefs to give away (including ones from Focx and LKeonardDesigns), as well as some hot greeting cards and a pair of cufflinks from Focx! Send me a picture of yourself in boxers or boxer briefs and a tank or T-shirt and I'll enter you to win schwag! Pics may be posted on butchwonders.com, so keep it PG-13 and SFW. ;)
In an bout of productivity, I've been buying my Christmas gifts early--mainly because my DGF and I have to buy gifts for people we don't know super well (my brother's in-laws and their family). They're doing a "stocking exchange," meaning that everyone puts a small gift into everyone else's stocking.
The upshot? I'm turning into a semi-pro stocking stuffer. I figured sharing my ideas might save you some time finding cool gifts. So forget the bubble bath and candy canes and check out these ideas. My categories are food, practical, and fun. All are under $15 (and most are under $10!).
5 Edible Stocking Stuffers
Who likes food? Answer: everyone. If you're strapped for cash and short on ideas, here are five sweet and savory selections.
 #1: Bacon chocolate bars are sooo 2011. Update your bacon-lover's stocking with this $8 bacon-maple-salt caramel. What's not to love?
|  #2: My main question is: how could you not buy a seasoning called Bad Byron's Butt Rub? $7.09 for a small bottle.
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| | #4: I'm a serious coffee drinker, and buy mine on Go Coffee Go. They select some of the best roasters in the country, often have free shipping deals, and send your coffee within days of roasting. Two of my favorites are 1000 Faces and especially Klatch. | | | | | | #5: Flavored bitters are a terrific gift for any semi-adventurous cocktail lover: brothers, aunts, fathers-in-law, friends--you name it. Bitters are versatile mixers that come in an astounding array of flavors, including orange, celery, black walnut, peach, rhubarb, and chocolate. | 5 Practical Stocking Stuffers
Sometimes the most commonsense gifts are the ones we overlook. For the more practical recipients on your list, check out these five ideas.
 #1: At $5.90, Foot Rubz are one of the best personal massage tools around (not that kind of massage tool--get your minds out of the gutter, kids). While you're at it, pick one up for yourself, too. I did, and my feet are grateful. A related idea: a scalp massager.
|  #2: These Panasonic ear buds come in purple, orange, blue, green, black, white, grey, and pink. They've been rated 4.5 stars by over 1500 users, and somewhat amazingly, are under $6. Or try these Coby ear buds for about the same price.
|  #4: Chico bags are great for groceries, books, or stashing sweaty gym clothes. You can never have too many. They're machine-washable, come in eight colors, and you can get a 4-pack for $21. If you're looking for something more distinctive these are similar and have designs on 'em.
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| 5 Fun and Frivolous Stocking Stuffers
These are great gifts for kids, people in their 20s, or anyone who you think would appreciate something kind of colorful/fun/frivolous.
|  #2: Uuum, did you know that you can get temporary tattoos custom-made?? I didn't, and these are rad! Several companies that do it, including Imprint and Print Globe.
| #3: Got a bored smartie in your family? Check out this alternative cube puzzle (pictured right). Not only does it get ridiculously high ratings, but it's marked down 74% right now. | | 
|  #5: Fact #1: I am a dork. Fact #2: So are some of the people you know. Fact #3: The idea of playing Scrabble on your fridge is awesome, especially for $12.98.
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Holy crap, it's October! If anyone knows how that happened, email me.
With the plethora of independent T-shirt sellers out there, there's no excuse for parading your queer self around town in dull shirts that say things like "Quiksilver" (full disclosure: I love Quiksilver). So I went to Etsy, found the coolest T-shirts, ordered 10-15 of them (some were donated), and wore them around for a couple months. Here are my top picks (not in order, though the first two are probably my favorites!).
 SevengillDana Gibson's Etsy shop contains simple artistic homages to--in her words--"all creatures, big and small, except for horses." The green four-shark design (left) comes printed on an American Apparel shirt. It instantly became my favorite T-shirt and has held that position for months. The high-quality printing survives lots of washings. $20.
 Ideaka...And this is my close second favorite! Chris, the owner of the Ideaka shop, specializes in designs that tend to incorporate maps, bicycles, and/or birds. I get a ton of compliments every time I wear this shirt, and the quality of the printing is impressive. Printed on an American Apparel shirt. The price is steep, but I'd rather get this shirt than two Hurley tees at Target or something. $28.
 237incLara, owner of 237inc, has some cool designs--some of which are explicitly queer (one of my favorites just says "gayish"). I don't love the Fruit-of-the-Loom shirt it was printed on, but I do love my "I heart coffee" design, especially the cool print job, which makes each shirt a little different from the next. Reasonably priced. $20.
 myuniTThis is the softest T-shirt I've ever owned. I'm not in love with this particular design (though I do like the "Grow More" one a lot). The collar is a little larger and thinner than on other shirts. I end up wearing it to sleep because it's so incredibly soft. I guess it's made out of bamboo(?!). $28.
 TheSimpleLaughYeah, this is a little dorky, but we all know that dorky is in. Jodi Stiefvater's store, TheSimpleLaugh, caters to geocachers, map-lovers, and coffee drinkers. Unfortunately, not all sizes and styles are available now; let's hope she makes more. $9.
 RetroPopNamuIf you're looking for something a little different from the norm, but still cool, check out RetroPopNamu's store, which riffs on Japanese vintage style to create a variety of interesting designs. I love my bullet train design (pictured right), although after 8-10 washes, the graphic is already fading a bit. These shirts run a little larger than most, and the collar seems kind of thin and stretches out easily. Still, it's a cool enough shirt that I'd buy from this store again. $28.
 ZenThreadsAs Etsy shops go, ZenThreads is pretty large. They have a terrific assortment of shirts from which to choose--tons of animals, but also miscellaneous designs featuring astronauts, ampersands (I disapprove of ampersands, just FYI), and hops. I got the one pictured left, and while it's cool, the contrast doesn't show up nearly as well on the actual shirt. They use American Apparel tees. Good price, too. $18.
 Dark Cycle ClothingDark Cycle Clothing specializes in shirts of a few categories, the largest of which is "animals on bicycles." While the print is way too big (and maybe a little too blatantly hipstery) for this shirt to be a favorite of mine, I like their art. I suggest getting a higher-contrast shirt/print pairing than the squirrel one (pictured), which is what I have. Printed on an organic American Apparel shirt. $25.
 phoenixcompostThis adamantly political, left-leaning, anarchist, feminist, environmentally-conscious shop prints on used tees from thrift stores. A good idea, but I don't like not knowing the brand ahead of time--even though I ordered my usual size, the shirt I received ended up being way too big for me. Plus, I didn't like that it was already a little pilled. Still, an awesome idea. $18.
There you have it--awesome tees to spice up your fall. Yay for supporting Etsy and independent businesses! And if you have a great idea for a BW shirt, let me know--we'll make it happen.
 via thosegirlswhowearglasses.wordpress.com You may know her as cheerleading coach Sue Sylvester on Glee. Or as the sexy-but-sleazy divorce lawyer on The L-Word. Or even as Gayle Sweeney, recovering addict and head of the Sturdy Wings program in "Role Models." But did you know that Jane Lynch once starred in a long-running stage version of Brady Bunch episode remakes? Or that when she was a kid, she used to sneak into her father's closet and try on his ties and suits? (I'm guessing that latter morsel resonates with some of you as much as it does with me!)
 In her new(ish) book, Happy Accidents (2011), 51-year-old Lynch recounts all of this and much, much more--starting with her girlhood in Dolton, Illinois and finishing up with her present-day life in Los Angeles. One of my favorite things about Happy Accidents is that Lynch doesn't pull punches. You get the shame she felt as a high school freshman when she dropped out of her first acting role; the depth and struggle of her addiction to alcohol; her blithe arrogance in approaching early acting roles. There's pain, sweat, hard work, awkwardness, and chance meetings. There's joy, hijinks, foibles, and clear-eyed reflections on people's capacity for change. Nor do you need to be a Gleek or a Christopher Guest enthusiast to enjoy the book. Happy Accidents is rife with references that will resonate with dykes and comedy fans of all stripes.
 via collider.com
_So you got a some perfectly-sized Calvin Klein button-ups from your DGF for the holidays, eh? Now you just need the right undershirts to wear with them. (I'm assuming you already have some decent metal collar stays.) In this entry, I'll review your T-shirt options. In all cases, I'm talking about "men's " T-shirts, since for many of us, "women's" or "ladies" shirts tend to be too short or cutesy or have tiny sleeves. Undershirts come in three basic varieties: V-neck tee, regular crew-neck tee, or tank top (for now, I'm not considering long-sleeved undershirts). I heavily favor crew necks. Tank tops don't prevent sweat or deodorant from staining button-ups. And not only do v-necks irritate my lower neck area, but they look dopey when you can see the texture of the v-neck collar under the shirt). Most of the butches I know favor crews as well, so for now, that's what I'll focus on. (A summary of my findings is at the end.)  I own this because it's rad. _Before we go any further, a note on printed tees: In general, I have zero objection to printed tees. In fact, I own a whole bevy of 'em. But there's a place for printed tees, and that place is NOT beneath your collared shirts. We can see the print showing through your button-up shirt and peeking out your collar. And though admittedly we are vaguely intrigued that you ran the Boston Marathon in 2001 and attended a k.d. concert in 1992, this is not how we wanted to learn about it. Anyhow, I rate and discuss five kinds of shirts along the following criteria: - Thickness: This is more about personal preference than quality. You may want thicker shirts in winter and thinner ones in summer. Thicker shirts can conceal your shape, and thinner shirts to be less bulky underneath tighter button-ups.
- Collar: Collars that roll or stretch look bad when you unbutton the top button of your shirt. I prefer medium-to-thin collars, but thin collars have a hard time staying flat. I also like collars that fall slightly lower on the neck, so that it doesn't look like I'm wearing a dickie under my button-up.
- Durability: This refers to how well a shirt holds its shape, thickness, etc., through lots of wearings and washings. I've tested all these shirts through months and months of wear. Some hold up great, others not so much.
- Colors: The official butch uniform is a button-up shirt with a T-shirt under it. While some butches favor white shirts, I prefer to match the color of my undershirt to the color of my button-up (e.g., a black tees with a dark grey button-up or an orange tee with an orange-and-white striped button-up). Matching serves two purposes: (1) It looks like you put some thought into your outfit; (2) At the end of the day (or even at the grocery store on the way home from work) you can untuck and unbutton your button-up shirt and look casual rather than sloppy.
- Procurement: What the shirt costs and where to get it.
MOSSIMO CREW NECK, ATHLETIC CUTThickness: Medium to thin. Soft, tagless. I often wear one of these + a pair of boxers to sleep. There's been recent speculation that the quality has recently suffered. Collar: Medium-thickness. Perfect cut. Starts out great. Then... Durability: So-so. Wonderful for the first few months, then the collar begins to stretch and get thin and not lay flat. For some reason, the durability of the heathered colors is much better than the others. Colors: Come in a 10-15 different colors, including dark heathered grey, navy blue, teal, orange, a heathered forest green, and more. Their colors tend to match my dress shirts more than any other brands do. Procurement: $7.99 each at Target or $7.99-$9.99 each at Target.com. Many of the Target.com links (like this one) claim that the shirt is not available in stores, which is untrue. HANES COMFORTSOFT CREW NECKSThickness: Medium. Nice soft feel, and tagless, which I love. Also good for sleeping in. (Don't confuse these with Hanes Heavyweights, which are not nearly as nice) Collar: Starts large, shrinks to medium in the dryer. Lands slightly higher on the neck than the Mossimo shirts. Durability: Excellent. Becomes a little thinner over time, and seems to stain easily, but holds up well. I've been impressed that the collar doesn't seem to stretch, roll, or have trouble laying flat, even after many washings. Colors: Black and white are easy to find. They also come in grey, navy blue, denim blue, forest green, and washed black heather. Others are hard to find. Procurement: White and black are often available in department stores. The price and selection is better online: where I can find them in white ( 3-pack for $12.99 or $11.80, depending on sizes), and four-packs of various colors and prices here.  _LL BEAN CAREFREE UNSHRINKABLE TEE (Note: at the time of this writing, the LL Bean website was down, so I'm not including any links yet.)
Thickness: Very thick, though not unpleasantly so. Not as soft as Mossimo or Hanes Comfortsoft. Stiffer, but definitely not scratchy.
Collar: Thick. Fairly wide.
Durability: Pretty solid. I've had several for years, and they keep their shape and never get holes. Same with the collar: retains its thickness. The big downside is that the collar eventually starts to pucker.
Colors: 15-20 available: yellow, orange, heather green, white, black, dark blue, light blue, maroon, and more. (See pic at left.)
Procurement: Normally $14.95 each on the LL Bean website, occasionally on sale for around $9.99. Also, these seem to run large; I advise ordering one size smaller than usual.
_AMERICAN APPAREL (FYI, this company has had some serious problems. On the other hand, their shirts are made in the USA, which the others aren't. So, your call. This is also worth reading.) Thickness: These aren't very thick, but the weave keeps me just as warm as thicker shirts do. If you have sweating issues or don't like to wear antiperspirant, look elsewhere. Also, the sleeves are a tad shorter than other brands' sleeves. Collar: Definitely on the thin side. Within the limits of acceptability, though. Durability: Good for at least six months. After that, the collar will begin to stretch out of shape. And while the color won't fade, the shirt will shrink quite a bit, even if you wash it in cold water. Colors: These come in literally 40 different colors. They have yet to come out with a nice rust orange, but everything else seems to be covered. Procurement: You can get these online for $5.99 each. They're more expensive in stores. Also, these run small, so order up if you're on the cusp. GILDAN Thickness: Very thick. Kind of bulky under shirts. Also, the sleeves are longer than the other shirts--fine for most guys, but not for most women, since we tend to have shorter arms than men do. (I wear a 32" sleeve.) Collar: The largest collar of all the shirts I've reviewed here. Not unacceptabe, though. Collar falls higher on my neck than I would prefer. Durability: These seem to get a little scratchy with regular wear. And then at some point, they lose the scratchiness and get soft again as they're wearing out. It's weird. Colors: Like American Apparel, comes in about 40 different colors. Procurement: Can be bought online for $4.54-$14.99 (but most of the nicest colors seem to be $14.99). SUMMARY: My rankings from best to worst: - Overall, my favorite is Hanes ComfortSoft, which seems the best value for the money, boiling down to about $4/shirt for white and a dollar or two more for other colors.
- American Apparel comes in second for its combination of comfort, color selection, and price.
- I'd rank Mossimo as a very close third. They have the best colors and are soft from the start, but will become your PJ's in 6-12 months when the collars get stretched out.
- Much as I love LL Bean, their shirts come in fourth for me. They'd probably be #2 if the price was lower and the collars didn't pucker.
- GILDAN comes in last. Too stiff and scratchy for this butch.
Any other opinions about these brands? Any additional brands that butches might especially want to check out?
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