My DGF says that everyone has his or her "57 Rules of the Universe," and that most disagreements stem from people having different assumptions about the way the universe works. She also says that no two people on earth have the same 57 rules.
Yesterday I sat down and wrote the first 57 "rules" that came to mind. Some are idiosyncratic and specific; others are very general. Some came from other people (my mom, grandmother, friends, teachers); others are things I've observed. Some aren't even really "rules;" they're more like preferences. But we can learn a lot about how people see the world by trying to understand their rules, and I got a kick out of trying to articulate mine.
BW's 57 Rules of the Universe:
(Runner-up rules include "Raw tomatoes are the devil's food" and "Pluto really IS a planet.")
Obviously, I'm not saying that any of these is right--just that this is how I see things. Which ones overlap with YOUR rules? Which ones do you disagree with the most? And what are a few of YOUR rules of the universe?
Yesterday I sat down and wrote the first 57 "rules" that came to mind. Some are idiosyncratic and specific; others are very general. Some came from other people (my mom, grandmother, friends, teachers); others are things I've observed. Some aren't even really "rules;" they're more like preferences. But we can learn a lot about how people see the world by trying to understand their rules, and I got a kick out of trying to articulate mine.
BW's 57 Rules of the Universe:
- Your friends will date whomever they want to. Your admonition not to date someone will either drive you apart or lead your friend to be secretive.
- Nearly everyone is just as insecure as you are. You will never fully believe this.
- Don't wear hats in a restaurant, or at a meal in a friend's house.
- Arrogance and manipulation are terrible traits. Trust the guileless.
- Unless you are someone's best friend, you don't get to tell that person that he or she looks tired.
- Hard work can make up for talent in 95% of circumstances. Talent can make up for hard work in only 50%. Hard work + talent = unbeatable.
- Some people know some things. Other people know other things.
- Sometimes you have to take the leap and build your wings on the way down.
- Trust your gut.
- Sleep is the best way to prevent illness. Vitamin C and "Wellness Herbal Resistance Liquid" (stupid name, good product) are also useful.
- You can learn just as much from good fiction as you can from good nonfiction.
- You don't get to choose whether you're a writer; you just get to choose whether to write. This probably applies to lots of other things as well.
- Be good to animals. They need you.
- If all the women in the world just made a pact not to dye their hair, then women with grey hair would no longer look older than they are.
- Read as much as you can.
- Running on dirt is better than running on pavement if you have shin splints.
- Most of us are doing the best we can.
- Learn what comma splices are; avoid them.
- If you want someone to know that you're a true friend, show up to help him or her on moving day.
- In the end, no one really cares what you do with your life except you, so you'd better do something you enjoy.
- If you have a sore throat, combine the juice of a whole lemon with some very hot water and a little honey. Drink it.
- Try to hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else sets for you.
- Do what you know IS right, not what is thought of as right or what you are told is right.
- Adversity isn't something to "overcome;" it's something to draw on and make yourself stronger.
- Most of age is mental.
- You're not obligated to spend time with people who make you feel inferior, bored, or angry.
- Best cookbook: one filled with recipes from family and friends.
- When returning a food container to someone, don't return it empty--make something else and put it in the container before returning it.
- Bring a small gift or a bottle of wine whenever someone invites you over to (more than an extremely casual) dinner.
- Instead of putting a quarter or two in a homeless person's change cup every day, occasionally go up to a homeless person and offer to buy him or her a whole meal--lunch, dinner, whatever. Get this lunch from somewhere you, yourself, like to eat.
- Most physical items are not worth the money. Among the exceptions: Apple computers, good pots and pans, well-fitting pants.
- Shoes that make you look silly: Crocs, Uggs, and Vibrams (those toe shoes). Yeah, I know they're comfortable. But you still look silly.
- Professionals worth their weight in gold: a good tailor, a good gynecologist, a good therapist, a good stylist or barber.
- The biggest compliment you can give a business is recommending it to your friends and/or writing a Yelp review.
- Running is more fun with a dog.
- Handwritten thank-you notes are a lost art, appreciated by everyone, mandatory if the recipient is over 50 years old or wears sweater sets.
- If you RSVP to something, you should actually go.
- An 18-20% tip is the norm for good restaurant service. For lousy service, tip 12-15%, pre-tax. If you go to a restaurant and split a meal, tip as much as you would if you'd each ordered your own meal.
- Listen to other people. You can learn a lot. And at the root of it, most of us want to be heard.
- Audiobooks are a great way to survive a commute and/or a long run.
- Stay as close to your family as you can, especially parents and siblings. If they have issues with your "lifestyle," stay hopeful. People change.
- Things I never regret time spent doing: writing, having sex, exercising.
- Don't assume that people are thinking the worst of you; they rarely are.
- There's no excuse for wearing pleated plants.
- All steeples point to heaven.
- In renting an apartment, washer-dryer access and a parking place are non-negotiable. A dishwasher (and everything else) is negotiable.
- Popcorn tastes best while watching a movie. Air-popped popcorn eaten while sitting on the couch at home tastes best of all.
- It is practically criminal to let tickets to an event go to waste; if you're not going to use them, give them away.
- In order to be in a successful relationship with someone, at least 29 of their rules must overlap with yours.
- Most ranking systems (best colleges, best cities to live in, etc.) are stupid, or at least random, and completely change depending on which variables are included in the calculation.
- Don't pass up opportunities to travel (it's good for the brain) or to go to the beach (it's good for the soul).
- It's not okay to call your DGF a "bitch" (or worse), even if you're having a fight.
- If you eat something in the morning, it automatically qualifies as a breakfast food. Thus, breakfast pizza and breakfast cake are real phenomena.
- In general, do not waste food. This includes pizza crusts and the heel of the bread. (But if it's old, dump it!)
- Food that has no calories: cough drops, cookie dough, bites from someone else's plate, fruit, vegetables, and stuff you eat while cooking.
- There is zero shame in shopping at thrift stores. In fact, a good score at a thrift store should be a major point of pride.
- It's not okay to judge someone until you've walked a mile in his or her moccasins.
(Runner-up rules include "Raw tomatoes are the devil's food" and "Pluto really IS a planet.")
Obviously, I'm not saying that any of these is right--just that this is how I see things. Which ones overlap with YOUR rules? Which ones do you disagree with the most? And what are a few of YOUR rules of the universe?
