BW Forum + March's best search terms

04/13/2012

15 Comments

 
I've decided to try out a chat forum, just as an experiment for a few weeks, to give BW readers a chance to chat with each other about various topics.  I may pop in occasionally, too.  Check it out using the new "forum" link above. 

Secondly...  betcha thought I was going to forget about March's "weird-ass search terms that got people to my blog" list, didn't you?  No way--I saved the list, just hadn't gotten around to posting it.  So, for your enjoyment:
  • "black button up shirt for 12 month olds" (How did this person get to my site with this search?  And doesn't that seem a touch formal for a 12-month-old?)
  • "is ellen degeneres a butch lesbian?"  (As far as the media is concerned, yes.  As far as I'm concerned, she makes the Field Guide, but only barely.)
  • "big bad lesbian butch tubes"  (What!?!)
  • "san francisco dyke tubes" (Seriously, will somebody please tell me what the deal is with lesbian "tubes?"  This shows up in my search list at least a few times every month, and it's just weird.)
  • "lesbians hate penis invalidates my identity as a woman"  (Lesbians usually hate neither penises nor men; we just prefer to have neither in our beds.  And even if a lesbian did hate penises, how would that invalidate your identity as a woman??)
  • "is it uncommon for butches to be attracted to butches?"  (Not as uncommon as you might think!)
  • "what two butches do in bed"  (We exchange big bad lesbian butch tubes.)
  • "can you be female identified and want to bind your chest" (Yes.  To my knowledge, the Community has not yet issued any Official Restrictions on female identification and chest-binding.)
  • "straight girl attracted to butch girls"  (Um, maybe straight girl not so straight?)
  • "straight women attracted to butch women" (See above.)
  • "straight women attracted to butch" (Seriously.  Are you SURE you're straight?)
  • "straight woman attracted to androgynous women" (Dude.  You are at least a little bit queer.  Explore that side of you, pronto.  Then please give my information to the Community so that I can get another toaster for my collection.)
  • "mesh liner in swim shorts cause injury" (I've been trying to figure out what injury this could be.  A number of possibilities come to mind, mostly involving tangled male genitalia.  Ouch!)
  • "not all butch women are transgender" (Excellent point.)
  • "howdy partner in a sentence"  (This is going to blow your mind: "howdy partner" itself is already a sentence.  Whoa.)
  • "how butch women match boxers and bras"  (Okay, this is awesome.  For one, it assumes facts not in evidence.  I can only speak from personal experience on this one, but I'm guessing that even metrosexual butches like yours truly make very little effort in this regard.  We avoid overt clashing, but most of our bras are black or white sports bras, so this presents little challenge.) 
  • "we need to balance taboos"  (Agreed.  Let's also juggle cliches, mismanage memes, and mitigate misnomers while we're at it.)
  • "gay male moccasins sex" (Say what?)
  • "what do you mean always"  (I mean all the damn time, bucko!)
  • "exwifebestfriendisabutchdidshecrossover?"  (crossovertobeingalesbianjustbecauseherfriendisbutch?     YeahdefinitelyandwhileI'matitremindmenottobefriendanymenorI'll becomeoneandnottotalktoanyeightyyearoldsbecauseI'llsuddenly agefiftyyearsjustfromproximity.)
  • "butch dog clothes" (See, this is why ambiguous modifiers are such a blight on society.  Are we talking about butch clothing for dogs [like my buddy C might look for to butch up her swishy mutt]?  Or clothing for butch dogs [e.g., clothing for mutt like mine, who is already butch]?  So confusing.)
  • "AA AFuneral Benefit"  (Eh??  How did you get to BW from that?)
  • "why is it most studs and butches are small breasted"  (We're not, but we often wear sports bras, and some of us even bind, so it looks like we have little boobies.  LITTLE BOOBIES!)
  • "what to do when kissing a butch" (Cross your eyes, grit your teeth, and poke us hard in the ear with your index finger.  That turns us on, baby!)
  • "what it says about you to tuck in shirt with no belt"  (It says: I forgot my belt!  Or: I have no fashion sense!  Or: My pants don't have belt loops, and are probably girl pants!   Or: I'm wearing suspenders!)
  • "where does rachel maddow get her clothes" (I was trying to come up with a pun about how rachel maddow getting out of clothes is the more interesting question, but then I got too distracted by the idea of R.M. undressing and temporarily lost my ability to form coherent thoughts.)
  • "why do gay men hug each other" (Because that is how rainbows are made.)
 


Comments

C. link
04/13/2012 11:27

Dude-
My dog is NOT swishy! (not that there's anything wrong w/ that)
See link for pictures of my very butch doggy.

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victoria link
04/13/2012 14:01

OH MY GOD. I was laughing out loud at your responses to all of these. This one especially: "we need to balance taboos" (Agreed. Let's also juggle cliches, mismanage memes, and mitigate misnomers while we're at it.) Damn funny stuff.

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fighting game link
07/12/2012 01:48

i like this blog!thank u!!

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Kirsten link
04/13/2012 14:39

In response to, "And even if a lesbian did hate penises, how would that invalidate your identity as a woman??" I have to share the quote a trans woman friend of mine posted on fb the other day: "Some women have penises. Deal with it." So, while that may not be what the searcher, erm, sought, it works. :)

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Elliott link
04/13/2012 14:46

I think I can illuminate the penis one! Some ladies have penises. Some of them are lesbians.

For my part, I am really intrigued by those tubes.

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Rae
04/13/2012 15:28

OMFG! I was sitting in my livingroom laughing so loud I' sure the neighbors thought I was losing it. Lmfao

Every single one of these was hilarious. I especially like the RM one

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ButchonButch link
04/13/2012 15:50

" 'lesbians hate penis invalidates my identity as a woman':
(Lesbians usually hate neither penises nor men; we just prefer to have neither in our beds. And even if a lesbian did hate penises, how would that invalidate your identity as a woman??)"

" 'mesh liner in swim shorts cause injury' (I've been trying to figure out what injury this could be. A number of possibilities come to mind, mostly involving tangled male genitalia. Ouch!)"

Hey, BW, I love your blog, but you've got some cissexism goin' on here, and that's not cool.

There are plenty of women (some of whom happen to be lesbians) who have penises. Just like there are plenty of dudes (some of whom happen to be gay men) who have vaginas. A penis is not male genitalia.

And you know what? When cisgender lesbians equate penises with men and refuse to see trans women as women, it DOES invalidate their identity as a woman.

And that is not okay.

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Yvonne link
04/13/2012 16:41

I laughed so hard I think I tinkled a little... Thank you for the entertainment. Really? Really? LOL

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Butch Wonders link
04/13/2012 17:04

Glad you enjoyed this. In response to the charges of cissexism (which I really try to avoid--the cissexism, not the charges):

I didn't think about the idea that the person searching for "lesbians hate penis invalidates my identity as a woman" might be a trans woman. Good point! That would make more sense. (I still don't think anyone can "invalidate" anyone else's identity, 'cause I don't think that's how identity works.) But yes, that search makes sense--so thanks for the insight.

In response to the "swimsuit liners" thing being cissexism, at first I disagreed and kind of rolled my eyes, since I'd be willing to wager that most readers knew what I meant, and didn't think I had suddenly become hostile to trans people or adopted the belief that trans men aren't "really" male or that trans women aren't "really" women. And it was intended to be flip and humorous. But then I thought about it some more, and quickly realized that "Oh, come on, you know what I meant" is a pretty shoddy defense. So, yeah. Cissexism. Guilty. Truly NO offense intended. Apologies to anyone who felt excluded.

Man, sometimes it is really hard to write about sex and gender generally without using terms or assuming things that upset people. I try to be completely inclusive, but if I'm not completely vigilant, even for a moment, I find that subconscious assumptions and mainstream ideas about gender sometimes find their way onto the screen. You're right to call me out on it.

Now I'm thinking about how to edit the mesh swimsuit one so that it isn't cissexist. I thought about writing "penises," but that seems to invalidate some people, too, by suggesting that something has to look or be a certain way to be a penis. Um, let's see. "Large external genitalia?" I'm not really sure.

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ButchonButch link
04/13/2012 17:49

Hey, BW, I really appreciate you being honest and accountable. Thank you for apologizing.

I agree that cissexism is so incredibly internalized that it can be hard to even see it. It is indeed a daily struggle to unlearn all the racist, cissexist, misogynist, ableist, homophobic shit we've all internalized. I know I've definitely been guilty of fuck-ups in the past, and I'm sure I'll be guilty of fuck-ups in the future. I think all any of us can do is to continue to educate ourselves and to be committed to being accountable/being open to being called on our shit.

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ButchonButch link
04/13/2012 17:49

Hey, BW, I really appreciate you being honest and accountable. Thank you for apologizing.

I agree that cissexism is so incredibly internalized that it can be hard to even see it. It is indeed a daily struggle to unlearn all the racist, cissexist, misogynist, ableist, homophobic shit we've all internalized. I know I've definitely been guilty of fuck-ups in the past, and I'm sure I'll be guilty of fuck-ups in the future. I think all any of us can do is to continue to educate ourselves and to be committed to being accountable/being open to being called on our shit.

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maddox link
04/13/2012 18:07

This is genuinely hilarious!

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Stacey
04/14/2012 00:12

Gay male moccasins sex? Boy they have porn for just about everything these days. Don't even want to begin to know what that includes.

And butch tubes? Another type of freaky porn perhaps? Again, don't wanna know.

This is one of the best! I'm still laughing about some of these.

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mx. punk link
04/15/2012 17:10

i was totally going to call you on the cissexism, but then you had to go and be awesome by apologizing gracefully. so i'm just gonna talk about how sweet the rest of the post is.

basically, i laughed my face off and spat tea all over my computer monitor. so, yay! you totally make my rainbow-- and i mean that in a silly, non-creepy way.

and there are all these porno sites called shit like, "porntube" and "redtube" and "lesbiantube" and they're all free. so i think that person was searching for free butch porn. maybe?

thanks for all the awesome!

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TJ
08/24/2012 18:53

LMFAO! I got here by using one of the straight women/butch women search terms. I keep getting crushes on butches so yeah... I guess I'm not completely straight. You learn something new every day.

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