If everybody just focus on what makes them happy then we woulf be a better community!

im a lesbian that enjoys both sides im butch but i do the fem for dances and im great at both

the way you communicate weaves and flows...it is rich in thoughts, ideas and complex concepts done with such respect that I often stop, think and usually laugh.

You are indeed an intelligent writer and cannot wait to read a book that you have written one day

So, I guess where I'm at with this is more or less the same place I was when I read the April Fool's joke. I think I'm hung up on this line in particular:

'But you may encounter surprise and skepticism from others, since so many self-identified butches (myself included) have trouble imagining genuinely wanting to wear a dress, and/or genuinely wanting people to see us as "pretty."'

The word 'butch' has a long history across multiple continents. It's not just about the here and now in Canada, the US, the UK, etc. ( and don't even get me started on what 'butch' looks like, behaves like, or means in India). It's not just about appearance/aesthetics, it's not just about gender, it's not just about sexual behavior, it's about all of that and more, with several decades of historical nuance added to it.

So, while I appreciate what you're saying, and you're saying it well, it still seems like a very present tense and culturally situated interpretation of the word (the concept?). The 'so many' who were horrified and then amused represent a specific segment of the population (computer literate, to begin with). And it would appear that some of them came to self-identification as butches in a way you recognize--partly out of a lack of desire for the 'pretty.' I'm fairly sure I could dig backward through the archive and found women who came to the identity of butch by way of analyzing sexual behavior, not public gender roles, not aesthetics. Different aspects of butchness, not always coincident, but still used by some women to sort out who is 'really' butch and who is not.

Humor is tricky, of course, and it's probably impossible not to offend someone with a joke--I can start an argument with a "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke. But I think it's telling that when a few brave people did bring up their discomfort, it only took a few more comments before someone suggested those women were being over-sensitive. It's the same type of policing I still (sadly) hear when men tell sexist jokes.

Anyway, I'm now off to the gym, where I always have the opportunity to negotiate my butchness when entering the women's locker room. Good times.

"It is obvious in the queer community that there is an epidemic of oversensitivity."

I can appreciate that you see it that way, but I disagree. I can't say that I've been groomed to react with passion and anger at every off color comment; in fact, I pretty much get paid to analyze whatever I read or hear.

But does it hurt to excluded from a social category--female, butch, femme, lesbian, etc.--because I don't meet someone else's definition? Sure, but that's not really what I was talking about. I think I'm more concerned with what the process of "self-identification" leaves out of the definition of butch (and all social categories). If we define what's appropriate by our own route to butch, by our own preferences, behaviors, appearances, well, that just seems to me to be a fairly narrow definition of the word. If followed without deviation, we'd end up with several very small, disconnected groups, full of people who consider themselves butch, but can't recognize the butchness of others adhering to a different definition of the word. Maybe our discomfort is a projection of our thoughts about validity as lesbians or butches, but line-drawing is also about validating oneself.

At any rate, I do think "butch" is a word/category with a deep history, a word with constantly shifting meanings. When people start talking about what a butch (or femme or trans or girl or boy, etc.) 'really' is, or how a butch 'really' behaves, my tendency is to raise an eyebrow and pull out a history book.

"Just as those women who find the April Fools post offensive, most of us hold the right to believe that it was, in fact, hilarious and while also holding the belief that butch women do not feel comfortable in dresses."

In the end, I'm not saying you don't have the right to believe the joke was funny or that butch women don't wear dresses. But I also have the right, and possibly the duty, to complicate that position, at least until the blog owner requests my silence.

I thought your post was hilarious and appreciate your sense of humor.

I agree that for many words (labels) there is a general consensus of what does and does not fit the definition. For instance, if I'm living in poverty but call myself wealthy because I feel wealthy, most people are going to think I'm eccentric or that I need to stop reading "The Secret". I should not take it personally if someone is confused by me calling myself wealthy; it just doesn't fit the general definition.

As for the 50's cutout asking, "Do you remember not to stride...to walk with a spring as if you like to dance?"...this gives me new sympathy for my mother's generation. Dear lord!

There are some butches that would look totally ridiculous in a dress. And then Ive seen some butches that I think would look totally hot in a dress.

This discussion intersects with the debate (fight?) I've been reading between Cathy Brennan (writing as bugbrennan) and Antonia Elle D'Orsay (writing as Dyssonance), over the issue of whether male-to-female trans people are "woman" enough to enter women-only spaces like restrooms, locker rooms, and so forth.

I'm a trans woman, so you won't be surprised when I say that I see Brennan's arguments as problematical (though I like to believe that I would think that even if I weren't trans). D'Orsay isn't the writer Brennan is, but she still makes a strong case for treating trans women as women.

Your post, though, has shown me some nuances I hadn't applied to that fight.

"It's hard to be sensitive to all incarnations of an identity, especially if it's an identity you claim, and others claiming the identity don't share traits you consider central to it."

This is the position Brennan is in. I (and D'Orsay) happen to disagree with the centrality of some traits that she considers essential to her own identity -- woman. But as long as Brennan does consider them central, it can't help but be hard for her to be sensitive to trans women's identities as women. While I still oppose her ideas and actions, this insight gives me more sympathy for her.

It's easy to hate people when you feel they're threatening your identity. But I don't want to hate. Thanks for giving me a new way to think about this conflict.

Post a picture. Please!

So, it WAS a great prank. It IS for fun and also social comment. We are all different. I've got ten piercings, all visible on my ears ;), and I'm soooo butch in my head. I had a former student ask me if I was ever going to wear a dress to work again, 'cause she said that I what looked like back when I was married and living ( notice the "living" and not being) straight, she said I was in drag.

I love the labels. Since I'm only living lesbian for such a short time, I feel like a baby dyke. I embrace the terms butch. My wife was horrified that I used that term to describe myself, since she is an old school, retired military girl, and "butch/dyke" was a way to make you feel bad about yourself, unworthy, and somthing beneath society's contempt when she was first dating women. She was never "out," obviously.

Now that I use butch and dyke frequently, she has come to enjoy the term between her and me. She's my baby butch and I'm her boi toi butch.

BTW-no dress, no way, no how. Even for the niece's wedding. Cool suit, YUP!

My boots will be in tomorrow

Drag........although I wont mind the next butch doing it.