Earlier this year, A Femme in NYC wrote How to Know if a Femme Likes You. I've been wanting to write a butch counterpart to her excellent list.
Many butches are shy. I'm one of them. Sure, some butches will march right up to you, tell you you're hot, and ask you out. Not me. And not most butches I know. Faced with a hot femme (or butch--God, hitting on another butch brings up a whole host of other issues...), our confidence sometimes melts, a cocky grin turning into a tentative smile.
If the butch object of your affection is one of the shyer members of our species, her hints will be subtle. These clues apply to butches interested in anyone--femmes, androgynous folks, other butches, or anyone else:
15 Signs That a Butch Might Be Into You
Got it??
OMG, as I finish up this entry (and I'm totally not kidding), there are a butch and femme tentatively flirting at the coffee shop I'm sitting in. The femme just grabbed the butch's hand to emphasize something, and the butch held it back, just for a second, and blushed. Telltale sign. Then the butch was all like, "Oooh, you should come check out this community garden we have, six of us will be there tonight having a few beers, yada yada yada," and the femme was like, "I totally will." Well played, ladies.
So what do you think of this list? What are some of our other "butch tells?"
Many butches are shy. I'm one of them. Sure, some butches will march right up to you, tell you you're hot, and ask you out. Not me. And not most butches I know. Faced with a hot femme (or butch--God, hitting on another butch brings up a whole host of other issues...), our confidence sometimes melts, a cocky grin turning into a tentative smile.
If the butch object of your affection is one of the shyer members of our species, her hints will be subtle. These clues apply to butches interested in anyone--femmes, androgynous folks, other butches, or anyone else:
15 Signs That a Butch Might Be Into You
- She happens to have awesome suggestions about where to go to find your favorite kind of cuisine.
- When you mention some place you're interested in, she looks interested and/or says, "Oh yeah... I've been meaning to check that out."
- She tells you, "We should hang out sometime." (She won't actually ASK you out unless you say something positive in response, like, "Yeah, that'd be cool.")
- She finds some thin excuse to get your email address or phone number. For instance, she'll really want to talk to you about that plumber you recommended, or she wants to email you the name of some random book she thinks you'll like.
- She invites you to a group outing. This may seem counterintuitive, since what she really wants is some one-on-one time, but this way she doesn't seem like she just wants to get into your pants (and she saves face, since if you don't return her interest, she can pretend it was just a friend thing).
- In a group setting, she sits right next to you.
- In a group setting, she sits as far away as possible, then glances your way sometimes even when you're not speaking.
- She blushes or gets an "aw, shucks" look on her face when you compliment her.
- She insists on paying (possibly signalling that it's a date).
- She lets you pay (with the caveat that she'll pay next time, which means that she wants there to be a next time, thus giving her a ready excuse to ask you out again).
- She tells you that you smell nice.
- She either talks too much or stays super quiet.
- She gives you those patented butch puppy-dog eyes (hint to butches: this doesn't work on other butches especially well; they're onto you).
- She'll do little tiny protective things, like walking on the outside of the sidewalk, opening your door, or offering you her umbrella. (See, in our effort not to look like sleazeballs, we may be over-gentlemanly, like a 1950s college boy, but with better hair.)
- She offers to do "butchly" things for you: fix your computer, check your tire pressure, or install your new garbage disposal.
Got it??
OMG, as I finish up this entry (and I'm totally not kidding), there are a butch and femme tentatively flirting at the coffee shop I'm sitting in. The femme just grabbed the butch's hand to emphasize something, and the butch held it back, just for a second, and blushed. Telltale sign. Then the butch was all like, "Oooh, you should come check out this community garden we have, six of us will be there tonight having a few beers, yada yada yada," and the femme was like, "I totally will." Well played, ladies.
So what do you think of this list? What are some of our other "butch tells?"
