Gynecology 101: Practical Tips for the Visit

02/26/2013

6 Comments

 
My last post got a ton of traffic; it seems like I'm not the only one out there with gynecologist stories (nor, for that matter, chin hairs). 

I really did intend it as a public service announcement, *not* a scare story.  I hope you'll consider it even if you have a deep aversion to such things.  Here are some tips to make your gyno-health-ventures more tolerable:

Before making the appointment:
  • Do your homework.  Get a friend's recommendation, look on Yelp, and/or contact your local LGBT center for a list of queer-friendly docs.
  • If you're reallyreallyreally nervous, you may want to make an appointment to meet the OBGYN ahead of time.  That way if you dislike the person or feel that he or she isn't queer-friendly, you're not obligated to come back.  If the doctor refuses or wants to charge you for a five-minute intro, call a different doctor.

While making the appointment:
  • If you have a preference for a man or a woman OBGYN, say so.  It's a very common request, so don't feel like you're being a pain.
  • Say something like, "I need a gay-friendly doctor who's been trained in lesbian health."  Whether you need the expertise isn't the point; you want someone who won't flinch at your stunning butch-osity.
  • Book a morning appointment.  This way you'll be fresh from the shower--giving you one less thing to think about.

A week before the appointment:


  • Arrange to bring a friend if it will make you more comfortable.  They can come in with you, wait in the waiting room, whatever you want.
  • Make a note of when your last period was, how regular it's been, any problems you've been having, questions you have, etc.  This way, you'll have it right in front of you when you're asked.

The day of the appointment:


  • Wear shoes that are easy to slip on and off, as well as clothes that aren't too much of a pain to change into and out of.
  • If it will make you feel better, shave your legs and butch-scape your nether-regions.  (But they've seen it all, so you seriously have nothing to worry about.  I never do anything different from normal.)
  • Your feet will be up in stirrups, basically in the doc's face.  If you have stinky feet or something, deal with them ahead of time.

At the appointment:
  • If you want, ask to see the doc with your clothing on first.  Sometimes it's easier to meet on "equal" footing, (i.e. when you're not wearing a teensy robe).
  • If it's your first time, or you aren't used to--uh--much in-and-out traffic, tell the doctor immediately to use the smallest speculum (pronounced SPECK-you-lum) possible.  This will make it far less likely to hurt.
  • Remember that you are in charge.  It is your body and your appointment, even though it may not always feel this way.  Even as I toughed it out with DSM yesterday, I knew that I could call it off any time I wanted to, which made me feel a little more empowered.

Any other tips I'm missing?  Please add them in the comments!
                                

                   That's a speculum. ---->

Guess where it goes.  Wouldn't you prefer a small one?
 


Comments

HAUTEBUTCH link
02/27/2013 11:49

This is very useful information for something that all women, no matter their race, class, or sexucal orientation, needs to know. I would add that when you find a great gynecologist, you should hold on for dear life! :-)

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Lindsey
02/27/2013 21:08

And tell your friends! Great doctors deserve recognition, and your friends deserve to see a doc who really knows what it's about.

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Jan
02/28/2013 15:20

AUGH! Raising hand as the worst gyno-health-venture goer ever! Three times in the last 19 years. Yes I am going this year because I have the Best Dr in Alberta now!

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Caughtinyoureyes
02/28/2013 15:54

Just sayin' as a Health teacher this is one of those "must do" events in your life once you are sexually active. That is for younger women who have begun their sex life and also true for older women, whether you engage in penetration or not!

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FemOutLoud link
03/01/2013 16:58

This is, in its own way, as courageous a bit of writing as your previous post on the topic. And, I say that with genuine respect; it occurred to me to respond with a linked post on my own blog, to share one femme's most recent experience. I got as far as opening the page to type ... and realized I'm just not quite willing to put that out there after all. So the least I can do is drop by here and give you some major kudos for having what it takes to speak out on such a topic. Let me add a gold star stamp to your butch card, or something like that. ;)

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Sandra
03/10/2013 14:35

Thanks so much for this post. Important topic! I feel compelled to put in my two cents here. I am a midwife and nurse practitioner, and I have to say that you're not alone in your hatred for getting your annual exam and pap smear! I've never had a woman say to me, "Gosh, I just love coming here! I always look forward to my pap smear every year!" So, just know that it's no one's favorite activity, and it's one of those uncomfortable but necessary parts of being a woman.
BUT . . . it doesn't have to suck and it doesn't have to be something you dread! You can have respectful, competent, gentle, culturally-sensitive care. I used to to work at Planned Parenthood, and patients told me all the time that their visit with me was the first time that they didn't hate the experience AND the first time that they didn't feel any pain during the exam. When I worked there, I received periodic training in understanding and addressing the specific health concerns of LGBTQ patients - this is so important! Planned Parenthood is a wonderful, accepting, welcoming resource. Please seek it out if you live near one - it's not just for abortions. PP clinics offer full-scope gynecological care and screening. Most are staffed completely by women, and most of the providers are nurse practitioners or midwives. So, check it out the next time you need an annual exam, pap smear, breast exam, UTI check, or are having a problem with your menstrual cycle. If you don't live near a PP clinic, look up the midwives and/or nurse practitioners in your area. Most midwives offer gynecological care in addition to maternity care, and can do most aspects of primary care as well. I certainly can't speak for all, but most of the midwives I know are much more open, accepting, and interested in providing culturally sensitive care than doctors, so you won't get someone that arches their eyebrows or asks stupid, irrelevant questions when you express your sexual orientation.
Don't settle for anything less than 100% respectful and appropriate care! Find someone who understands and addresses your specific health needs. It is important to get those bits checked out, so don't settle for an experience that you dread and hate! There are providers out there that can make an admittedly uncomfortable experience into a positive and educational one. You may not love doing it, but at least you won't HATE it!

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