Where did you guys go? Why have you abandoned me??
Oh, wait. That would be me. Yes, it's been several months since I posted. In that time, I have gotten a new job, moved across the country, and gotten married. I'm still setting up the new homestead, trying to wrestle the mutts into submission (they're used to having space to run around--no more!), and dealing with the irritating minutiae that accompany relocation. Previously, I lived in a very rural area an hour from multiple big urban centers. Now, I live in a small city and can walk downtown, but am over two hours from a big urban center. So that's a little weird. Also, people tell me it will snow here. I hope they're messing with me. Anyway, I don't know how regularly I'll be writing this blog, but you guys have totally been on my mind during this big period of transition. I thought I'd list out some of the things I've been thinking about, and perhaps you can comment back with some of the things YOU have been thinking about, and maybe a few more posts will magically arise from the ether. Here's the butch-relevant list of stuff that's on my mind, some big and some small:
Well, friends: I hope you're all doing well, and that you'll take a sec to let me know what's on your mind (and that you haven't forgotten your old pal BW).
8 Comments
Ray
8/26/2016 02:36:06 pm
Congrats on your marriage! And I'm sure you will love snow, it's amazing (coming from a Canadian)
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Martha
8/26/2016 03:33:27 pm
Congratulations on your marriage and the new job! Snow really is doable (grew up in Michigan, lived in snowy locales most of my life). If it is snowy enough for you to get "snowed in" you will appreciate being able to walk downtown.
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Mal
8/26/2016 09:20:08 pm
Congratulations on all the new adventures, and sorry about the snow! I'm from Michigan where we literally get mountains of it. It's is pretty to look at but can be a bummer to drive in.
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Meredith
8/28/2016 08:04:20 am
In my experience, there is a difference maybe not in how butch and trans guys experience their masculinity, but in how they practice it. Trans guys are masculinity conformists, whereas butches are masculinity nonconformists. Example: Mike and Dianne both go to a fancy event wearing a tuxedo. Mike is a trans man. He should make the effort to dress similarly to all the other men, who have also made an effort to dress similarly. Black on black, traditional, plain, same cut of tux as everyone else is wearing. Dianne is butch woman. She can also wear a tuxedo, but she should make an effort to disrupt the uniform in some way. She should do things like chose a colored shirt, or wear an open collar, chose colorful accessories, or even go so far as to find a non-black tuxedo.
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Congrats on everything new in your life, I know it can be stressful too. You brought some interesting points: The first one about sporting a tie vs. slacks and a shirt at your new job. My first reaction was, wear your tie and then reading about the trans men I totally get why you may hesitate.
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Sasha
4/24/2017 09:20:45 am
"Everyone has both masculinity and femininity. I think no matter what your gender is, you have some of both and it's just how much you have of each that determines how you feel. Some of it could be our genes, some of it could be socially constructed. Likely both, I would suspect. "
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joe
8/30/2016 03:14:22 pm
Congrats on everything! recently a friend of mine came out as trans (after which a big moment of gender identity questioning followed) and made me think a lot about masculinity and what "makes" someone trans, as in what's the line to be crossed. because a lot of butches do have top surgery/bind so then changing your body or being 100% comfortable in it isn't the line to be crossed, right?
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Zander
9/9/2016 09:27:12 am
I think that the internet has wildly changed the world for LGBTQ people, not just young, but older as well. It makes people more aware we exist and are out there, and it also is an amazing tool that people have used to figure out they aren't alone and create amazing validating communities. I know that many people my age used the internet as their first chance to talk to someone like them, but I also think that older people are using the internet to make their stories told so that my generation remembers the struggle of the past. I think the divide comes from younger people not appreciating the culture they are growing up in where it is (in many ways, but not completely) easier to come out and more accepted.
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