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Bastian the Chick Magnet

5/23/2011

1 Comment

 
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I emerged from a weekend of car-buying craziness with this sweet little number.  It's a 2004 Impreza Outback Sport Wagon, which I bought at a Subaru dealership after more than four absurd hours of negotiation.  Although I'm not happy with the dealership, I *am* quite happy with my car.  Not only does it have AWD, which is going to rock on hiking trips and my curvy commute, but it's small, gets decent gas mileage, and is reasonably safe.

My nerdy side is still crestfallen about the absence of side airbags, but my lesbian side is stoked.

My DGF saw it for the first time today and definitely approves, though she finds the color "a little childish" (what?!).  But she thinks I got a good deal on it, and since she knows more about cars than I do, I was quite pleased.

While I was weighing whether to buy it, I named the car "Bastian."  I have never named a car before, and it popped into my mind out of nowhere (was "The Neverending Story" rattling around in my subconscious?).  Though I loathe the misogynistic practice of giving vehicles women's names and referring to them as "she," I am perfectly happy to have a male car, because it somehow turns that practice on its head (or does it?).  Anyhow, I hope Bastian and I will be buddies for a long time to come.

The best part of my car search, though, was talking on the phone with a private party seller on Saturday about a different car.  The conversation proceeded as follows:

BW: Hi.  I'm interested in your 2006 Honda Civic.  Is that still for sale?
Car Dude (henceforth CD): Yeah, it is.
BW: Oh, great.  I just had a couple questions about it.
CD: Sure.
BW: Does it have a clean title?
CD: No.
BW: Oh, okay.  In that case, I'm not interested.  But thanks for your time.
CD: I DON'T WANT TO SELL IT TO YOU ANYWAY!!
BW: Um, okay.  Bye.

As my DXH said when I told him the story, I didn't know third graders were allowed to own cars!

1 Comment

Car Shopping: Butch vs. Nerd

5/21/2011

4 Comments

 
For me, this is car-shopping weekend.  I was in an accident last month and totaled my Accord, and I'm down to the wire for finding a new (used) car.

The butch in me wants 4WD.  It doesn't have to be huge--I just want to be able to throw my bike in the back (never mind that I'm not much of a cyclist; I'm nonetheless enamored with the idea), dart up the curvy road to my apartment in the rain without skidding, and maybe strap a kayak on top (never mind that I've only kayaked three times in my entire life).  SUVs are fun to drive, but I loathe the SUV arms race (in which we all buy taller cars so that we can see around all the other people who bought taller cars so they could see better).

Ah, but the nerd in me...  The nerd in me wants a Volvo...  perhaps a used S40.  Or something with amazingly good gas mileage.  Something drool-inducingly safe.  Side curtain airbags!  High visibility!!  Oh yeah, give it to me, baby!!

Ahem.

So this weekend, my butch side and my nerd side will endeavor to strike a compromise.  What'll it be?  A Subaru Impreza wagon?  A "small" SUV?  A RAV-4?  A Civic?  I'll keep you posted.

Meanwhile, what features do *you* think are essential for a butch's ride?  A multi-disc changer and sweet sound system?  Big cup holders?  Roof racks?  A Moon roof?  Manual transmission?
4 Comments

Why Yes, I *Do* Look Rather Dapper Today!

5/19/2011

2 Comments

 
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Calvin Klein shirt, Nordstrom Rack, $30. Calvin Klein tie, Marshall's, $12. (That's a Windsor knot, by the way. Usually I just do a four-in-hand. More on tie knots later.)
2 Comments

How to Buy Shirts: An Introduction

5/18/2011

18 Comments

 
  1. The Glorious Versatility of the Long-Sleeved Button-Up Shirt: As you may have gathered, the unofficial butch uniform is button-up shirt with a (white, black, or matching) T-shirt under it.  This outfit offers both comfort and versatility.  Want to look more casual?  Leave the shirt unbuttoned.  More formal?  Tuck the shirt in.  Attending your gay ex-boyfriend’s wedding?  Throw on a tie. 
  2. Brands: Certain men’s brands tend to be a little roomier in the hips and chest, and are thus friendlier to many female figures.  You’ll have to experiment on your own, but a few favorite dyke brands are Calvin Klein, Kenneth Cole, Material London, and LL Bean.  Banana Republic and J. Crew tend to favor the slimmer-hipped bois, as do Alfani and Van Heusen.            
  3. Women's ("Ladies'") Shirts: To Look or Not to Look?:  It may be worth looking at women’s shirts by designers who are lighter on the frill factor (e.g., LL Bean; Eddie Bauer; Jones New York).  But beyond a few select brands, women’s shirts tend to disappoint the butchier members of the fairer sex, and you’ll spend hours futily searching for the one item in the store without lace or pearly buttons.  We've all been there.  
  4. Sizing: The centrality of the long-sleeved, button-up shirt to the butch wardrobe means it’s essential that you buy shirts that fit.  Men’s shirts are usually sized in one of two ways: (1) S, M, L, XL; (2) using actual numbers.  Where (2) is employed, you will see two numbers.  The first refers to collar size, and ranges from about 14 to 18 1/2 (in half-inch increments).  Many sales clerks at Macy's, Nordstrom, etc., will happily measure your neck. 
  5. Fit: Your neck measurement is useful, but not dispositive, because of—you guessed it--the breast factor.  For example, my neck is 15 inches, but the smallest shirt size I can wear without popping off buttons is a 16 1/2.  If you're a buxom butch, avoid slim-fit shirts, as these are even smaller in the chest.  The second number you will see refers to sleeve length.  The most typical sizes are 32/33, 34/35, and 36/37.  Even a 32/33 may be too long (this is easily masked by rolling the sleeves, which has the additional advantage of suggesting a serious work ethic).  Sleeves should extend to the base of your thumb.  Perhaps because bra sizes are also in the 30s, I spent my first months in menswear trying on 36/37s, having somehow concluded that 36/37 was a chest measurement.  I still own some shirts with way-too-long sleeves to prove it.  (And here’s another tip: don’t worry about what the numbers say.  They’re going to be different for you than for a guy, because you are a chick, and have boobs and hips.  Maybe you’re a 17, and your dad is a 17, and you think he’s fat.  Don’t worry about it.  The measurements mean different things for each of you.) 
  6. Color:  One of the best things about being a butch is that you’re still a chick!  (Well, if you're female-identified.)  Or genderqueer!  Hallelujah!  This means that you can get away with wearing a wider variety of colors than most heterosexual cisdudes would dare to sport.  Have fun with it—try all kinds of different colors, and feel free to match your button-up shirt with the T-shirt you’re wearing underneath it.  No need to stick with white T-shirts every day, either.  Brands like Mossimo (cheap, awesome, stocked at Target) and GAP make men’s T-shirts in a wide palette of colors.  These make good undershirts because they’re thinner and cooler than those thick, cheap run-of-the-mill shirts made by brands like Gildan.  I like American Apparel, too (on those, the sizing runs small, so buy a size smaller than you normally do).
  7. Conclusion: I'll post more shopping tips in the future (as well as waaaay more details about shirts), so comment or email me your questions.  I'd also love to hear what shirt-shopping tips you can offer! Oh--and here are some pictures of shirts I like.
      
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Here's a maroon Kenneth Cole Reaction shirt. I like the subtle striped texture, and tend to get a lot of compliments on this one!
     
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I've been loving tattersall lately. LL Bean is especially nice because you can order your *exact* sleeve length (as short as 31", I believe) and collar size.
      
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This is a little number from Material London. I like it because it goes equally well with jeans or black slacks.It's got black, maroon, and dark blue stripes
        
18 Comments

Thanks!

5/18/2011

2 Comments

 
I just wanted to say *thank you* for all the love so far!  I've been doing this less than two weeks and it's already getting 50-100 hits daily--awesome!  I hope it will keep growing.  I also really appreciate your emails and comments!  Here's a question I have for you, dear readers: would you rather I post an entry every day (even if it's small), or would you rather I post something longer, say, every 2-3 days?
2 Comments
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