I've gotten eight zillion emails from readers who identify as "of size" or "fat" or "bigger" or "hefty" or "rotund," and want to know how they can dress stylishly and comfortably as larger butches. 

If you're non-gender-conforming OR on the huskier side, you've probably felt self-conscious about your appearance.  Combining BOTH can leave you feeling like a fashion pariah simply because you don't look like other people (and you challenge two mainstream ideals of attractiveness).

The attractiveness bias has been well-documented, so I'm not going to go on and on about how all bodies are beautiful (they are), how health is more important than size (it is), or how we should accept ourselves for who we are now while striving to be who we'd like to be (we should).  Instead, I'm just going to give you some advice about how to look your best.

Some General Fashion Principles for Husky Butches:

1. Some people perceive overweight people as per se slobby.  If you care what these nitwits think of you (and if you don't, good for you!), then you can overcome this assumption by extra attention to detail: shiny shoes, spiffy glasses, sharp haircut.  The same hair people might call "tousled" on a skinny boi may play as "slept-on" for you.
2. Confidence (not cockiness) is sexy!  Walk with your shoulders back, not hunched over to hide your weight.
3. Don't assume that people won't find you sexy.  They will!  You can still look great and get dates with hot people.  I promise.
4. Buy clothes that fit you now.  I'm sure I'm not the only one who's bought a pair of pants whose fit is--erm--aspirational at best.  Don't worry about sizes or draw lines in the sand ("I'll never buy an XL, no matter what").  Just worry about finding clothes that fit.  And don't put off buying clothes "until [you] lose weight."  It's hard to feel good about yourself in ill-fitting clothes.  When it comes to fashion, live in the now.
   
5. Understand that while there are downsides to being overweight, there are also downsides to being teensy.  For one, you aren't mistaken for a little boy, which the featherweight bois sometimes are.  This means that you can go all-out on dapper looks they might not be able to pull off.
   

And now, some specifics!

Don't Wear:

• Skinny ties or skinny jeans.  You aren't skinny, and your clothes shouldn't be, either.  
• Super baggy pants.  They don't make you look thin; they just look ill-fitting.
• Double-breasted jackets.  Unless you are comfortable looking like you weigh 20 lbs more than you really do, in which case, no problem.
• Clothes that bunch around the waist.  This doesn't actually flatter anyone, but it especially doesn't flatter the fatter.
• Pleated pants.  Ever.  (Actually, the only place for men's pleated pants is on the golf course--and even then, you're veering toward smarmy).
  

Do Wear:

• Dark colors.  They're especially yummy on you, big butches: navy blue, dark grey, dark olive, chocolate brown...  Consider these colors if you haven't.
• Tailored clothes.  Yeah, I know it's expensive, but tailoring can do magic for your clothes.  If you can't get something that fits you everywhere, get something that fits the largest part of you.  It's easier for tailors to make things smaller than larger.  (This is especially important if you're short and stout, since it's harder to find the right clothes off the rack.)  It's better to have two pairs of pants that fit than five that don't.
  
• Suspenders.  I've never tried them, but I really should--they're supposed to be awesome because while a belt can squeeeeze your midsection, suspenders help you cut a svelter figure (or so I'm told).  
• A blazer and jeans,  This is a look you can totally rock.  To prep it up, go for a dark blue blazer.  Your shirt should roughly match the darkness/tone of your jeans.
  
• Corduroy pants with thin stripes (not thick ones).  The most underrated pants ever!
• Pants that sit at your hips--below your belly button, not at it.  (No need to look extra short-waisted, after all.)
• Fun things: watches, bracelets, cool sunglasses, bow ties, whatever.  Don't be afraid to experiment with different looks--you can be the dapperest butch in the bunch, regardless of size.
  

Any other tips you'd like to share?  Any other questions you have about how to dress as a bigger butch?

Happy Valentine's Day, dear readers!  As promised, here's a wee gallery of butches in their boxers (and boxer briefs), modeling some great butch underthings (some of which are men's, some of which are women's).  For some of you, I'm sure this will be eye candy--for others, fashion inspiration.  Many thanks to the brave readers who bared themselves for the glory of the Internet, butch-style. 

Whether you're single, coupled, tripled, looking for love, or loving the bachelor life, I hope you have a terrific V-day!

With Valentine's Day around the corner, it's a good time to think about your intimate apparel.  If my Facebook fans are an indication, most butches wear boxer briefs or regular briefs (men's or women's) during the day and regular boxers to sleep in at night.  Some favorite brands: Fruit of the Loom, CK, Starter, and Champion. 

These are fine go-tos, but I wondered what interesting options were out there, so I did some research, contacted companies and Etsy shops, and got some wares to inspect.  Here--in no particular order--are some awesome choices that will let you look great, have some cool style options, and support small businesses.  (These make wonderful gifts, too.)

Bonus Pants is a little company out of Portland that offers a ton of fun, loud choices for cotton boxers (including mustaches, donuts, bananas, potatoes, skulls, bacon strips, motorcycles, and more.  The owner, Dagny, will make any style with or without an open fly (I tried both and prefer without).  They're baggy, plenty long, and don't ride up.  Around $18.

Gripped Basewear is a relatively new company, queer-owned and made in Canada!  Their boxer briefs are a little short for my taste and have a bit of a pouch in the front, but they come in a range of terrific colors, their customer service is awesome, and their undies are super soft.  If you're pale, unskinny, or don't have much of a butt, these aren't likely to be as attractive on you as they are on Gripped's hot male models.  But if you want to show off your stuff and support a queer business, this is an awesome choice.  $30.

Though they only have one style to choose from, Ohganix boxer briefs are also worth a look.  They're expensive as heck ($60), but the softest boxer briefs I've ever tried on.  Made in California, organic, and probably macrobiotic and gluten-free as well.  Mine are 96% hemp and 4% spandex, and have the perfect amount of stretch.  (They make "ladies'" stuff, too.)

Focx is an incredibly hot British brand, and if you've never checked them out, now's the time (even if it's just for the hot pics on their website... yowza!).  It's made for women, by women, and has tons of fabrics and two styles: boi shorts (left), and bocxers, which are a little longer.  I've tried both.  Although I wanted to like the boi shorts best, my torso bears an insufficient resemblance to the models' for it to look great on me.  Still, awesome quality at a decent price (£16.99, or about $26).  The bocxers, on the other hand, are totally comfy and hot.  Try both!

I thought these were a little cheesy at first, but I admit that I totally love my tie-dyed boxer briefs from 2 Tie Dye 4. They're a steal at $16, come in boxer briefs (Champion) or boxers (Merona), and add some really fun color to your boring ol' underwear drawer.  They're also pre-washed, so despite my worries, they didn't  dye my other clothing.  Maybe best of all, they come from Hawaii's Big Island.  Aloha, butches!

EX Designs makes boxers in fabrics that include football logos, seasonal prints, and two John Deere tractor prints (yes, really).  They're made for men, so there's extra material up front, but they're a deal at $16 for such cool fabrics (and if they don't have a fabric you want, be sure to ask!).

KLeonardDesigns offers a similar style to EX Designs and Bonus Pants, also with a broad range of fabrics (check out these paw prints), not all of which are pictured in the store.  The fit is wider and shorter than others I've tried.  Since I like my boxers on the long side, I didn't love the fit, but plenty of butches complain about too-long boxers, and would find these perfect.  Good quality, steep price.  $72.

If Fruit of the Looms fit you well but you're interested in something with a little more spice, check out Sexy Delights.  Being a fan of the bookish ladies, I chose their reading mudflap girl (left), but in lime green.  I think they're super fun, but my DGF maintains that they're tacky.  We're probably both right.  Tons of print options.  $20.

Last, but decidedly not least, are these great boxers from AmiElisah.  They're especially well made (even my hard-to-impress DGF was impressed!), come from Britain, and have little tiny elephants printed all over them.  Very cute and wearable both under pants and to bed.  £15.00 = $24.

I hope these great boxers and boxer briefs inspire you to spice up your underthings.  When I told them about Butch Wonders, the owners of all of these businesses were super enthusiastic about having butch customers.  Yay for queer-friendly small businesses!

In addition to the boxers I descibed here, I've also got some awesome, never-worn pairs of boxers and boxer-briefs to give away (including ones from Focx and LKeonardDesigns), as well as some hot greeting cards and a pair of cufflinks from Focx!  Send me a picture of yourself in boxers or boxer briefs and a tank or T-shirt and I'll enter you to win schwag!  Pics may be posted on butchwonders.com, so keep it PG-13 and SFW.  ;)

Bracelets have been trendy on men for a couple of years now.  But many butches have been slow to embrace the trend--partly because it's not always obvious how to do it right without looking like: (1) you plucked something at random from your little sister's jewelry box, or (2) you are under the mistaken impression that you're a famous rock star.

Plus, for a long time, go-to butch wristwear has been limited to huge leather cuffs.  Sure, these can be cool, but the look has kinda been done to death--at this point it doesn't add a lot of spice to your outfit.  So how do you rock a bracelet?  Here are three simple tips to get you started.

1. Don't be afraid of color.  There was a time when only girly-girls wore bracelets that weren't brown or black.  Thankfully, that time has passed.  Mosaic, multi-colored creations are not only acceptable--they're hot.   

2. You'll have to spend more than $3. Bracelets are no longer accessories that you buy from a basket near the cash register.  They're more like watches or rings.  A light, durable metal (like titanium) can set you back $50 or more--but the quality will be solid.

3. Bracelets aren't just for casual wear.  After years of association with surfers and hippies, you might still think bracelets can only be worn with tees and jeans.  Nope!  A high-quality versatile bracelet like the one pictured, left, can be worn just about anywhere.

Bracelets can be every bit as much of a fashion statement as a watch or a necktie.  It might take a bit of looking to settle on some that fit with your personal style.  I've put 12 great, butch-worthy bracelet selections in the Butch Store to get you started. 

I thought I'd lay out some crucial, basic tie-wearing tips I've been asked about.  Even if you know nothing else about ties, you need to know this stuff:

Q: Where should my tie end? 
A: At the middle of your belt.  Most people know not to let it land too far above the belt, but letting it land a couple inches below is just as bad.

Q: But then I have to re-tie my tie about 20 times to get it right.
A: Yeah, at first--eventually you'll get good at it, though.  This is the price we pay for looking dapper.  Just be glad no one's making you wear high heels.

Q: How wide should my tie be?
A: If the tie is between 2.5 inches and 3 inches at the widest point, you're good.  This is a "narrow" tie.  A skinny tie is about 2 inches wide at the widest point.  I'm not against skinny ties per se, though I think some caution is prudent.

Q: What's the most common butch faux pas you see re: neckties?
A: Okay, admittedly no one actually asked me this, but I feel compelled to share.  At fancy events, I often see butches in too-wide ties that land a couple inches below their belts.  This makes a butch look like she's raided her father's closet.  Please stop.

Q: I never know what knot to wear.
A: A four-in-hand is the easiest to learn, and safe for all except the most formal occasions.  If you're going to learn only one knot, this is the one.  Have a friend teach you, or watch this British guy, whom I find amusing.  And: practice, practice, practice!

Q: What's the deal with the "dimple?"  Do I need one?
A: Yup, you do.  A "dimple" just means that if your knot doesn't do it naturally, you push in the fabric right below the knot.  Here's a picture. 

Q: Do I need fancy shoes?
A: Absolutely not.  As long as your look is pulled together, there are all kinds of different ways to dress down a tie.

Q: You've suggested wearing a loosened tie.  How loose is too loose?
A: I undo the top button of the shirt, then pull gently at either side of the collar.  You're going for this or this, not for this.

Q: Is it okay to wear a tie bar?  Where do I put it?
A: Sure.  Just make sure it's not wider than your tie, and wear it between the third and fourth buttons of your shirt, clipping the whole tie to the shirt.

If you have any more questions about tie-wearing, just let me know.  Meanwhile, I'd love it if you'd send me pictures of yourself in a tie.  I'll post a bunch of my favorites as fashion examples for BW readers!