A friend of mine went to a presentation by the fabulous Janet Mock recently, and took this photo.  Part of the presentation talked about how non-trans* people be allies to trans* folks.  She fleshed these points out a lot more at the presentation, but I want to share her list and add my own thoughts as well [my additions are in brackets].  I hope that trans* readers will comment!

Occasionally I get email from other aspiring queer bloggers asking for advice, and I received another one recently, so I thought I'd share some general, hard-won blogging advice.  Take it all with a boulder of salt.

BW's Tips for Bloggers

1. Assuming you want an audience, your blog should revolve around a theme, not just be a diary.  For a following, you  need an angle.  (Once you have a following, it's okay to deviate sometimes--regular readers are forgiving...  As, I hope, you all are right now...)
   
2. Let your personality shine through.  Whether it's nerdy, quirky, punny, whatever--it's genuine you, and this is the fun of it.
   
3. Keep a running list of possible topics.  Then on the weeks you're running dry, check the list and see what inspires you.
4. You don't need to know anything about coding or building websites.  Personally I use Weebly, because I like their templates and options and easy-to-view stats.  But there's also WordPress and a bunch of others.
   
5. Reach out to more experienced bloggers.  After you've got 10-12 good posts, ask if they'll put you on their blog rolls. 
   
6. Don't feel obligated to post every day.  It's nice if you can, but you don't want the blog to feel like something you have to do.
   
7. Give people an option to subscribe to your blog via email.
   
8. Do it for love, not money.  I'm positive I've spent more on BW than I've earned.  Would I like to make a living writing BW?  You bet.  Am I willing to post ads all over my page and pimp products I don't care about?  No freakin' way.
   
9. Have patience!  It can take a really long time for your audience to grow.
   
10. Some people will hate you, disagree with you, and/or think you're stupid--and won't be afraid to say so.  Pay attention to thoughtful critiques; ignore the morons.
11. Don't be defensive.  You will screw up.  When you do, admit it.
12. You're going to offend some people, even if you try not to.  This is not a nice feeling, but it's a virtually inevitable one.
13. Readers love pictures, especially if you take them yourself.
    
14. Have fun!  Be silly, be weird, be random.  If you're laughing while you're writing, your readers will laugh while reading it. 
    
15. Keep a separate email account for blog-related email.  This will keep your blog life from leaking into your work life, and vice versa.
16. Think carefully about whether to be anonymous.  It's a hard choice.  I'm still closeted for professional reasons (and deeply ambivalent about it), but plan on coming out in the next couple years.  Once you're "out," you can't go un-ring the bell.  While being up-front about your real identity will increase your credibility (and get you a bigger following, I bet!), it may limit what you feel comfortable writing about. 
    
17. Social media is your friend!  Lots of people have stumbled across BW randomly through Twitter and Facebook.
    
18. Don't write about friends/family who read your blog, unless they've told you it's okay, or you specifically let them know ahead of time.  Some will get pissed off; it's hard to predict who.  Also: use pseudonyms.
    
19. Interact with your readers!  Most of them will be awesome, and eventually you'll probably get more emails than you can handle, but if you see blogging more as a conversation than a mouthpiece, readers will be engaged (and they'll share smart, interesting ideas that will teach you cool things and inspire you to write more!).
20. You're allowed to vary: sometimes you may be funny, sometimes reflective, sometimes informative.  Don't feel like you have to keep up some kind of consistent "persona."
    
21. Don't get too obsessed with your numbers, and certainly don't write in response to them (e.g., "People like posts about fashion so I'd better write about nothing but fashion").
22. Don't apologize if you go a while without blogging.  (Yeah, I broke my own rule recently.  Sue me.)  Just roll with it.
23. Focus on creating good, interesting content.  Rachel Maddow said recently that there are too many great content-container creators and not enough great content creators.  Be one of the great ones, and strive to get better.  I'm talking about technical stuff (for grammar tips, there's no better source than Strunk and White) and non-technical stuff.  Think of the bloggers you admire most.  Why do you like their posts?  Strive to embody the qualities you admire.
24. Good writing takes way more time than you think it will.
    
25. Understand that you have something to say.  If you're thinking about blogging, it's because you want to tell something to the masses.  Don't second-guess yourself.  Everyone's an expert on his or her own corner of the world.  A blog is an awesome way to share your point of view!
    

I'm sure other bloggers feel differently about lots of this stuff, and I hope they'll weigh in with other thoughts they have.

What about you, dear readers?  What are your favorite qualities in a blog?

As you know, I enjoy wearing queer themed t-shirts.  And I'm not the only one!  Two awesome BW fans in SF (who contributed to this entry, btw) have created this "JUDGE ME" T-shirt to help keep the DOMA and Prop 8 Marriage Equality debates centered on the LGBTQ community and our allies. 

They're donating all proceeds to a combo of important charities: the Human Rights Campaign, SF's LGBTQ Community Center, and Lyric, a Queer youth empowerment program.  (Check out the video.)  There are only TWO DAYS left in their campaign and, with your help, I think we can push them over their goal.  Whaddaya say? 

A few of you have asked what I was going to write about Edie Windsor, so I thought I'd go ahead and post what I wrote, even though it's kind of incomplete.

The day before the Supreme Court arguments, I dreamed about them.  For some reason, they were taking place in a high school gymnasium.  And one of my biggest heroes (who was involved in the case, but didn't actually argue it) was arguing on behalf of Windsor.  My parents were in the audience for some reason, and so was I, but I didn't seem to have a seat, and kept darting about the folding chairs to get a better view.

If you follow the case at all, you probably know some of the details: Edith Windsor's 40-year relationship with Thea Spyer, her longtime care of Thea after Thea was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and the financial blow dealt to her after Thea died (because their marriage--in NY and Canada--was not recognized by the federal government). 

When I think about how hard it was for me to come out in the 2000s, and how much anti-gay rhetoric I heard as a kid, I'm especially amazed by women like Edie and Thea, who were out and proud when it was much harder to be. 

Regardless of how the case comes down, I'm overwhelmed by my gratitude to Edie Windsor and the many others, young and old, who have been fighting this battle for a long, long time. 

When I started this blog, I swore that I was never going to apologize for not posting frequently enough.  I'll just post whenever I want, I thought.  It's not like I'm going to feel guilty if I don't.

Well, I'm going to go back on my word: sorry it's been so long since I posted!  A few things have happened in the last month-ish of time that have taken me away from blogging.  Want to know what they are?

• Someone I respect immensely recommended a job to me that I wouldn't have considered on my own.  Now I've applied and have that kind of excitement that buzzes around in your head and throat and prevents you from doing anything useful.  I'm not sure if I'm more scared that I won't get the job, or that I will.  Either way, it's shaken things up in a way that is not at all unpleasant.
• I am taking two classes, just for fun.  Haven't done this in a while.  Readings!  Homework!  Papers!  It's madness, I tell you!
• My DGF and I turned some kind of indefinable "corner" and I feel closer to her than ever. 
  
• I broke my foot and it has to be in an "air cast" for two more weeks.  Then I get another x-ray.  And only then am I allowed to even think about getting back to hiking.  Gah!
  
• My DXH and his DGF are engaged!  Whoa!  I am immensely happy for both of them and excited because they are totally happy and make a phenomenal couple.  (Actually, they got engaged more than a month ago, but they sent me their wedding website the other day, and that was when I realized: OMG.  They're getting married!)
• I met Butch on Tap when she took a work-related trip to my neck of the woods.  It was fun!  We agreed that we are officially friends, and I'm hoping we'll collaborate on some stuff in the future.  Stay tuned...
• I thought lot about the gay marriage arguments, listened to the oral argument in Windsor, and started to write a couple of different pieces about it, none of which came to fruition because they all devolved into rambling about how much I admire people like Edie Windsor, and how grateful I am to the LGBTQ folks who paved the way for us.

So there it is, dear readers; you're totally caught up on my life.

Now stay tuned for our regularly scheduled programming...