_If you're interested in sporting cufflinks, but aren't even sure where to start (and maybe don't even have more than 1-2 French cuff shirts yet), you're in luck--I have a whole new section of the Butch Store devoted to cufflinks. I recommend starting with three pairs, in three separate categories: 1. Basic silver or gold. These may not be exciting, but they're highly functional and work for any occasion. They can have a geometric design (like the ones in the photo at right), but shouldn't incorporate other colors. If you can't decide between gold and silver, just choose whichever you wear most often, since you'll want to match your cufflinks to the metal of your earrings, watch, and/or belt buckle. 2. Understated but distinctive. This is my personal favorite category of cufflink. It works for all but the most formal (think: tux) occasions, and expresses your style. Choose something with just one main accent color. I love these purple ones (pictured left), as well as these banded African jade ones by Ike Behar (pictured right). You can even find good-looking cufflinks that incorporate leather. This category of cufflink should be matched to whatever shirt you're wearing. The purple ones above would look great with grey, white, black, purple, or lavender, but not with, say, orange or red. They're fine for the office, a date, clubbing, or dinner out. 3. Novelty cufflinks. By "novelty," I don't mean cufflinks that turn into yo-yos or feature blinking lights. I just mean cufflinks that are wacky and different enough that you probably wouldn't wear them on a first date. Take, for instance, these Ed Hardy koi fish cufflinks (pictured left), which I do not own and happen to love. Or what about the ones to the right, which are not only versatile cufflinks, but double as working levels. Just in case you need to like, um, put up a shelf or something while you're wearing French cuffs (hey, it could totally happen). Some cufflinks are absolute works of art. Others allow you to proclaim your support for gay marriage, or double as 4G USB drives. Whatever the case, these novelty cufflinks should only be worn out dancing, or to not-that-fancy restaurants, or to work on a day that you're not meeting with a client or a CEO or anything. I hope you'll think about adding some cufflinks to your butch jewelry collection. I'm curious: how many of you are cufflink veterans? Take the poll below!
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Christmas falls on a Sunday this year, which means that if you want to order any gifts online, you have to do so now to get them in time for the weekend. After trying to find something good for my grandparents--and then realizing I had to order one-day shipping--it occurred to me that some of you, dear readers, might be facing last-minute online shopping challenges, too. Here are ideas for grandparents, bosses, aunts, uncles, college roommates, and other people you love dearly but don't see often enough to know what they'd like. I'm only including items that you can still order in time for Christmas. _1. Gift baskets. Who doesn't love receiving a little bounty of snacks? One of my favorites under $50 is this 1950s Retro Candy Box ($34.99, pictured left), which includes Necco Wafers, Chick O' Sticks, Choward's, and other sugary blasts from the past. And, for aunts and grandmas who love girlie stuff, check out this Victorian Lace Tea, Spa & Treats Clock Gift Chest ($64.60), which includes candles, lotion, bath gel, and more--all in a wooden chest inlaid with a working clock. 2. Tea Chests and Tea Sets. A classy gift that's hard not to like, tea chests come in a variety of styles. Try to get some brand of tea that isn't stocked at your local grocery store. I recommend this Wissotzky 60 Dessert Flavored Teas in an Ebony Tea Chest ($29.99). Tea sets are good bets, too. I like this cool Japanese one ($68.95, pictured right). If that's out of your price range, how about a simple infuser/mug set ($19.53)? 3. Gift Cards. These are also kind of impersonal, but they'll do in a pinch. Plus, don't you love receiving them? This one from Amazon features free one-day shipping. It's even better than cash, because you feel obligated to spend it on something fun. You can also get something more specific, like a certificate to their favorite restaurant or movie tickets. 4. A Coffee Table Book. These serve a bunch of purposes: showcasing great photography, impressing guests, and messing up orderly bookshelves by being wider than all the other books. You can find these on virtually any topic, from 1960s surf photography to Andy Goldsworthy's nature-centered art (pictured left) to the history of New York City to (brace yourself) hipster puppies. There's also a whole genre of amusing websites now available in book form, such as a compilation of hilariously wrong test answers, passive-aggressive notes, and Cake Wrecks. Think of them as the Harold and Kumar of coffee table books. 5. Board games are always a hit with families. Think Apples to Apples, Bananagrams, Cranium, or a classic like Scattergories (my longtime favorite) or Pictionary. Okay, you have less than 15 hours left... shop like the wind, butches! Ah, holidays. Whether for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Boxing Day, chances are, you're on the lookout for gifts for the butch in your life. Since many of us don't like conventional girly stuff, we can seem tough to shop for at first. But don't despair! Here are 10 great gift ideas. 1. Cool bracelet or necklace. Some butches don't like jewelry, but many of us do, especially if it's androgynous and versatile. Personally, I'm coveting this Rothko-inspired one by Retimade (pictured), which would look awesome with a button-up shirt and fresh haircut. I'm also partial to Audiyo's bracelets (made from recycled guitar parts). 2. Headlamp. Whether we're fixing the car, or just trying to find the cat in the backyard at night, headlamps are a delightfully dorky, hands-free flashlight. Totally functional. 3. High-quality shirt. You need to know her measurements first, but once you do, why not treat your butch to a really awesome shirt from somewhere like Brooks Brothers? Or even better, take her to a shop where she can get measured and pick out the fabric for a custom-made shirt! I've personally never had one of these pricey (~$200) numbers, but supposedly the fit is terrific, and especially great for women who usually have difficulty fitting men's shirts to their body. 4. Massage. Top or bottom tendencies aside, many butches appreciate a good rub-down. Choose a not-too-girly spa with tons of privacy, and buy your butch a gift certificate there. (Note: if you're not the butch's lover or a really close friend, choose something else or you'll look creepy!) 5. Something From Lucky Dog Leather. Virtually everything these guys make is super cool, and they have some great designs that are stylish without being showy and come in enough sizes to accommodate any butch, no matter how big-boned or tiny-wristed. One of my personal favorites is their ring belt ($82) in brown and antique brass. I'm really into some of their cuffs, too. 6. Tickets. These can be tickets to a concert, a play, a sporting event, a reading, a circus--anything your butch loves. It doesn't even have to be something the two of you would both enjoy. If you hate football or ballet or whatever she's into, give her two tickets and send her off with a buddy. We won't think you're trying to get us out of the house; we'll think you're observant and thoughtful. And trust us, we'll have more fun if we're with someone who also enjoys the event. 7. Music. And speaking of good music, audiophile butches who don't already own them might enjoy some of 2011's excellent offerings, which include Fleet Foxes' Helplessness Blues and Bon Iver's Bon Iver. 8. An Interesting Found Object. Since this isn't exactly a period of worldwide financial bliss, many of us are looking for ways to cut costs. And gift-giving can add up fast. Why not make a pact with your sweetie to give each other something cool that you found in the natural world? An abandoned bird's nest or unusual rock can make a memorable gift. 9. Glasses. After Bee Listy's excellent post on the matter, I've had Warby Parker on the brain. This socially responsible company donates a pair of glasses for every pair sold, and they even have a free home try-on program so that you can try out up to five different frames at a time. Their glasses are $95/pair, lenses included. As me and my bespectacled butch buddies know, this is a heck of a deal. Give a gift certificate and let her pick! 10. Pocket Knife. Admittedly, the toughest thing it's ever had to saw through is heavy-duty packing tape, but I nonetheless love my Gerber Paraframe Pocket Knife, which can be had for around $20-$25. It's lightweight, has a partly-serrated blade, and isn't so large that it feels unwieldy in my hand. I'm guessing it would be a great fit for many a butch. The one pictured here is a 3.5-in. blade like mine, but there's also a mini version--and I'm guessing, a larger one as well. There you have it, folks--10 gift ideas for the butch in your life. Stay tuned for my next post, in which I'll suggest at least 10 more! What are YOU planning to buy for the butches in your life? And butches, what are you hoping to find under the tree? Most of the girls where I grew up started wearing make-up in middle school. By the start of high school, I still wasn't on the bandwagon. I didn't understand why girls were expected to wear make-up, since boys didn't have to--and goodness knows there were dozens of boys at my high school whose goth-pale or acne-addled complexions would have been improved by a touch of foundation. But since no one expected them to paint over their faces' imperfections, I was inclined to exhibit my own just as freely.
Understanding that I was a pretty logical kid, my mom chalked up my aversion to makeup (as well as to carrying a purse) as old-fashioned, practical minimalism. As my overloaded tie rack now reveals, this was off the mark, but given the evidence available at the time, it was not an unreasonable hypothesis. Although my mom didn't want me to be Barbielicious or anything, she sometimes commented on my lack of interest in makeup--or, as she put it, in "putting on a little color." E.g. (pleadingly): "Don't you want to put on a little color?!?" Playing to my "minimalism," my mom would try to give me makeup survival tips. "Instead of carrying around separate blush, you can just put a dab of lipstick on each cheek and rub it in," she might advise conspiratorially. Or: "In a pinch, you can always use mascara to darken your eyebrows." I was highly doubtful that I would ever be in a "pinch" involving insufficiently dark eyebrows. But gamely, I gave both strategies a shot. I wore makeup on and off for several years. Putting it on always felt like putting on a costume, but I could look at myself in the mirror and see that I was pulling off a conventionally feminine look. I figured that this was how all women felt--that it was one of those burdens that she-creatures have to bear, like menstruation or writing thank-you notes. When I was married to my DXH, every time I applied what seemed to me a LOT of makeup, I'd ask him if he thought it was okay. DXH: Is what okay? BW: My makeup. Too much? DXH [looking at me; tilting head]: You're wearing makeup? BW: Obviously, YES. And possibly way too much of it. DXH [squinting]: I literally cannot tell that you're wearing any makeup. BW: I don't believe you. I look like a clown. DXH: Sweetie, what seems to you like a LOT of makeup is not exactly what the rest of the world considers a LOT of makeup. BW: Oh. Well, now I just feel stupid. DXH: Sorry. In that case, you look like a two-dollar whore. As a kid, I tried to humor my mom's suggestions to look more feminine, which often involved compromise on both our parts. Because I threw a huge fit at the prospect of putting on a skirt, my mom tried to persuade me that culottes (thanks to Bee Listy for the correct spelling) were JUST like shorts. "Then why can't I just wear SHORTS?" I'd ask, incredulous. (My mom and I are still very close, by the way--which is proof that, despite occasional frustrations on both sides, a butch dyke NPR-loving daughter and a conservative, Fox-News-loving parent can still find enough common ground to want to spend time together.) It wasn't that I objected to the style of the culottes (though I should have). Nor were they physically uncomfortable; they felt like well-ventilated shorts. But there was something I hated about other people seeing me in a skirt. It felt wrong, uncomfortable, humiliating. Some butches say that in childhood, they "felt like a boy," and didn't want people to see them in the "wrong" clothes. But I didn't feel like a boy; I felt like a girl who wanted to wear pants and a tie and have everyone think I looked dandy that way. From a very young age, I wanted sex and gender to get a divorce. (A brief aside: This is what I mean when I say that there's something "visceral" about masculinity. My DGF doesn't like me to use the word "masculinity." She says it's too tied to maleness, and that part of the fun of being a butch woman is turning maleness on its head by co-opting its trappings. But for me, "masculinity" refers to a style of dress and way of being that is not tied to biological sex--although for the rest of the world, there happens to be a very strong correlation. For me, maybe masculinity is more of an aesthetic?) Anyhow, the other day, for the first time in years, I slapped on a touch of makeup, just to see what it felt like. And you know what? A bit of lipstick and some eyeliner looked kind of kickass with my masculine glasses, haircut, and clothing. It was enough of a pain that I don't plan to do it again anytime soon. But it was pretty funny that after so many years of resisting makeup, it finally didn't feel "wrong." It makes perfect sense, though, doesn't it? Since I'm at a point where I feel free to dress as masculine as I want to, a tube of lipstick isn't a threat to my core being. It's just--well--a little color. In my last watch post, I gave an overview of the three kinds of watches essential to a butch wardrobe: black, brown, silver. But what if you want to go above and beyond the confines of classic fashion? Here are some ideas. #1: The White Watch Grand for slaving away at your desk or grinding away on the dance floor, white watches are fun, fashion-forward, and increasingly popular. I scored the one on the left on eBay, slightly used, for $36 (normally in the $80-$90 range new). Other hot white watches include this one from D&G and the Nixon Graduate (which I mentioned in the last post, but *love* in white!). #2: Color Splash! Though you shouldn't wear it more than once a week or so (or it will become a little tiresome), a big ol' shock of color on your wrist is a really fun way to smack some style into an otherwise dull outfit. For example, I might wear my lime green Nixon Time Teller (pictured left) on a day when I'm wearing jeans, sneakers, and a plain black button-up shirt. Nixon Time Tellers (pic below) have been ridiculously popular for the last year or two, and are still going pretty strong--probably due to their simple style and relatively affordable price tag. The Swatch New Gent (which I discovered on the Sartorial Butch's blog a while ago) is along the same lines, but a little less ubiquitous. (I am presently coveting the Petrol Rebel--just an FYI for those of you who are trying to decide what to buy me for July 4.) Look around for a cool watch in your favorite color. The Noon Watch, pictured at right, is kinda snazzy. If you want to be extra retro, go digital, like this Freestyle. #3: Vintage Virtuosity Ah, "vintage..." This widespread term can mean anything from "used" to "antique" to "hipsterrific." But basically, anything before 1980 is going to be something most people don't have. For a brief time, I was obsessed with Russian watches from the 1960s and 1970s, three of which are pictured here. I bought them on eBay for between $15-$20 each. The catch? They all stopped working within a month of their arrival. And according to the rather rude watch guy at my local drug store, one of them can't even be fixed. So go vintage, but understand that it can be a gamble. Still... so cool, right? "Oh, this old thing? It's, like, a Russian watch from the 1960s. Yeah, that's Cyrillic alphabet. Beautiful, isn't it? ...Oh sure, I'd love to go out with you sometime." Watchismo, which I mentioned in the last post, also has a small, pricey collection of really cool vintage watches. #4: The Nerdbucket Nerdy is IN. And one way to fly your nerd flag fly high is by sporting a dorktastic watch. These can feature calculators (a la 1986), or simply be plain ol' digital throwbacks, like my personal favorite, pictured left. I got it on Amazon for $13.48, and love to wear it with a plain white shirt and jeans, or with a nerdly-cool T-shirt (e.g., my Ninja on a Bicycle shirt), or even with a sweater vest if I'm feeling extra awesome. I put many digital watches, even relatively cool ones, into this category. I do not, however, include watches designed specifically as "sports" watches. These fall into the next category. #5: Sports/Jock/Survivalist Watches It is only reluctantly, and at the urging of my DGF, that I include today's final category. It's not that I don't like or appreciate these watches--indeed, I'm rather fond of my own Timex Ironman (which I wear to the gym, or to the grocery store, or other overtly sporty or casual contexts). It's simply that I've found that most butches are already well-acquainted with this category of timepiece--so much so, in fact, that unless they're especially faggy and/or fashion-forward, this may be the only watch they own. Case in point: my DGF's watch, pictured here, is a Casio that gives the time, altitude, barometric pressure, and God knows what else--probably tide tables, the phases of the moon, and the Federal Rules of Evidence. As my DGF is fond of pointing out, it is made of titanium, which makes it lighter than other watches of this stripe. And as I am fond of pointing out, it is solar-powered, which means that it's excellent on sunny days and less useful on cloudy ones. Like many butches, my DGF finds her sporty survivalist watch appropriate for every occasion from snorkeling to parties to weddings. Note to butches: #5, while wonderful, is not, in fact, appropriate for every setting. See my previous watch post, as well as #'s 1-4 on this post, for some inspiration! |
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