Remember how, when the DGF and I moved in together recently, we were excited to have found a place that would allow the world's most angelic cat to be safely separated from yours truly? Well, the cat was miserable. Truly, utterly miserable every moment he had to be separated from people, especially my DGF. This created a problem, since the world's most angelic cat also happens to be the world's most allergenic. We tried everything, but ultimately decided that it was too serious of a health risk for me to be around him, and too miserable for him to keep living in just one part of the house. Even though my DGF gave him special one-on-one time every day, and even though we kept the window open so that he could spend as much time outside as he pleased, he was still bummed out virtually every second he wasn't with people. He would release this heartbreaking cry that just killed us. So after a ton of heart-wrenching deliberation, we decided it would be best to re-home him. We spent more than six weeks finding him the perfect home: a four-acre parcel of land in a semi-rural area with a big house owned by a cat-loving bachelor who has one other cat whom he dotes on like crazy. In other words, the GK (that's "Grey Kitty;" shown above being typically attentive and saint-like) is going to be in total cat bliss. Today was re-homing day, and it was really sad. I feel a ton of (unjustified, I know) guilt for being hyper-allergic to this excellent cat, and my DGF is very, very sad but handling the situation with great aplomb. Ironically, I'm not too allergic to her other cat (shown here practicing yoga), who is grouchy and hisses at my dog. I can't cuddle with him for long, but I can be in the same room as him without anaphylaxing. Thinking about pets today made me wonder if the "pet-crazy-lesbian" stereotype is accurate. It also made me wonder what kinds of pets you have, dear readers. I hope you'll take the short polls below. _I'd love to hear from you in the comments: what's the most extreme example of lesbian pet-obsession that you've ever witnessed (or personally enacted)?
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Ah, gay men. Often we think of them as having a lot more money, much better porn, and nicer abs than we lesbians do. But how else do we think of them? As our buddies? Our rivals? Our best bet for a Christmas dinner date to Grandma's house? In this post, I introduce something I've been thinking about for a while: the relationship between lesbians and gay men. And I intersperse a couple of polls throughout the article to get your take on the boys. To start with: Many lesbians and gay men dated each other in high school, but too often we grow apart later in life. I've heard gay men say mean things about lesbians' supposed frumpiness, grumpiness, and penchant for plaids, and I've heard lesbians say mean things about gay men's supposed bitchiness and promiscuity. (For the record, I am against neither plaids nor [consensual] promiscuity, though frumpiness and bitchiness are both no-nos in my book.) There's something about the gay male ethos that's very appealing to many dykes. Just as some lesbians exude masculine energy from a female body, some gay men exude feminine energy from a male body. Maybe the mix of masculine and feminine energy is one of the reasons that gay men and lesbians sometimes develop crush out on each other. (They can be as mad about Maddow as we are, and goodness knows we were stoked to learn that Quinto's a queer.) I was reminded of my fondness for gay men after spending much of Thanksgiving chatting with my wonderful gay cuz, R., who is a photographer and a total cutie (and he's single, boys, so get in line!), and the evening before Thanksgiving with some great friends (including K&M, one of my all-time favorite gay couples). Maybe some of my affinity for certain gay men comes from their reputation (deserved or not) as tidy, dapper, and bookish. There's something about the "dandy" aesthetic that many butches embrace. In defining ourselves and our style, there's often a shortage of female icons to draw on. The gay male aesthetic offers an image of masculinity that doesn't draw on heterosexual machismo as much as many straight male icons do. And for those who see ourselves as oppositional (in one way or another) to heterosexual masculinity, gay male masculinity provides an interesting reference point. What stereotypes do you hold about gay men? What stereotypes do you think they hold about lesbians? What could a gay man and a lesbian learn from one another?
As is often the case, Butch 360 made me think--this time about pronouns. I shared my own preferences in that post, so I won't bother to recount them here. But I was struck by the marvelous diversity of preferences among the contributors. And it made me wonder what you, dear readers, experience with regard to pronouns. To that end, I made the following poll. I hope you'll participate, comment, enjoy, revel, etc. While no label can encapsulate you, labels can be useful descriptors of some of your traits and identities. Letters from a couple of straight cis male fans (keep reading, guys--we love to have you here!) made me wonder about how you, dear readers, think about your identities. Check all the terms below that you feel apply to you. (And feel free to leave comments, too!) I was talking with a friend today about open relationships. He and his partner are in one, and have been for most of ten years. This got me to wondering... What do you, dear readers, think about open relationships? Would you like to be in one? (Or are you in one and find it ideal?) Take this poll! ...And of course, feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments section. I know many several gay male couples with ongoing open relationships, but it seems to be much less common for lesbian couples. Has this been your experience? Why would or wouldn't you want one? What do you think would make an open relationship work (or fail)? |
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