Butch Wonders
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It's Been a Minute

11/21/2017

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Hey, all.  It's been a minute.  What's happened since then?  Well, something in my work life exploded and I was hit by some metaphorical shrapnel and I've been recovering, plus hustling as much as I can to get myself back on track.  But don't think I haven't thought of you--I've totally thought of you.  Here is a partial list of Random Things.  Nothing would make me happier than to read in the comments one or two things that *you* have been thinking.
  1. Thanksgiving is coming up.  I have a motley crew of wayward mostly-singles joining me and the wife this year, so that means we're cooking.  And by "we're cooking," I mean that she is telling me what to buy and I'm buying it, and then on Wednesday I will spend all day following orders like the obedient sous chef that I am.  It is super cool to be in a position to invite other people over for Thanksgiving who might not otherwise have a group of people with whom to hang.  (Notice that I don't say "who had no place to go."  Because some people want to hang out solo and read magazines and eat ice cream all day on Thanksgiving, which I think is an equally valid choice.)
  2. I went to Whole Foods today and got all the stuff on the list and not only was it PACKED with super slow-moving people, but they all seemed to be sick.  Every last thirty dozen of them.  It was all I could do not to bean someone with a delicata squash.
  3. Can we stop for a second and talk about MEN?  Holy crap.  Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Louis CK, Al Franken, Roy Moore, and SO many others.  The list goes on and on and on.  And while these cases shouldn't all be painted with the same brush, I can't help but notice that their common denominator is that they're all guys.  As are, by the way, all the mass shooting perps.  This is not a rant against men--some of my favorite people are men, obvs--but I can't help but think that if every single mass shooting and every single sexual assault were perpetrated by women, we wouldn't be allowed to own guns or be alone with anyone.
  4. I met another lesbian recently who made the observation that every lesbian she knows seems to have ill-behaved dogs.  This seems, to me, totally true.  Even the ones who didn't adopt rescues have bad dogs.  My erstwhile canine BFF, Scout, was a Good Dog Extraordinaire, but my DXH and I adopted her back when I was "straight," so her goodness was grandfathered in.
  5. Yesterday I learned a new vocabulary word that apparently "the kids these days" use: "extra."  From what I gather as a decidedly uncool thirtysomething, it basically means that a person is either (1) high maintenance (as in, "Dude, did you see her yell at him?  That woman is extra") or (2) trying way too hard (as in, "He turned in a 50-page paper and our assignment was 10 pages!  Talk about extra...").  But I don't know how to use it properly yet.  Like, can I say, "Stop being so extra?" Hmm.  It seems like blunting language is kind of a trend--e.g: "All the things," "All the feels," "I can't even."  I'm not saying this is a bad thing, but I do think it's interesting.  
  6. Can I just say that my mom now buys me pocket squares?  She'll be at Ross or something and literally send me a picture of a pocket square or a lapel pin and be like, "What do you think of this?  Would you wear it?"  Never in a zillion years would I have imagined that such a thing could happen.  It is so cool.  I can't even tell you how happy and validated this makes me feel.  
  7. I'm still gay.

Um, that's it.  Basically I just wanted to say hi.  Hi!  Happy Thanksgiving!!

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