Most of us have little nicknames for our partners or girlfriends--but some of you have told me that it's extra tough to come up with cute names for a butch.  "Sweetie" and "honey" can feel a little generic sometimes--and cutesy names like "pookums" or "honey flower" might not exactly cut it for a butch.

So here are some suggestions for butch nicknames.  Some of these are specific to lovers; #2, #3, and #6 would work for butch buddies just as well.

1. "Papi."  I've never been called, nor called anyone, "Papi," but those who use it tell me I'm missing out.
   
2. Their first and last initials: JB, DL, LG, BT, or whatever.
3. Their first initial, followed by "Dog."  As in: C-Dog or T-Dog. 
   
4. "Handsome."  I don't usually like being called "handsome," because it feels too gendered to me (as does "pretty").  But I know lots of butches who eat it up!
5. "Gorgeous."  As in: "Welcome home, Gorgeous."  (Who wouldn't want to come home to that?)
6. A one-syllable descriptor, like "Ace" or "Bear" or "Blue" or "Pants."  Ideally, this will be something relevant to their appearance or character.
7. Something playful, like "Spunky" or "Snappy."  (Actually, "Snappy" is one of my many nicknames for my dog, but she's pretty butch, so I guess it works.)
8. "Daddy."  I feel compelled to include this, although personally, it grosses me out.  But this is not a value judgment, just a personal preference.  I say, if you're into it, awesome.  Go for it.
9. Something a little crass and objectifying, but not too crass, such as "hot ass" or "tender tits" or "butter hips."  Okay, maybe not "butter hips."
   
10. Something that's code between the two of you but sounds neutral to everyone else.  So you can say it in front of other people and make her blush, but no one else will know what you're talking about.  Combine this with #6 if you like.
    

Your turn! 
Butches: What do you like your girlfriend to call you?  Do you have any nicknames for your butch buddies?
Everyone else: What are your nicknames or pet names for butches?

The BW Pride Project is off to an awesome start!  50 readers have signed up to participate, and 48 different Prides will be represented, spanning eight different countries!  Check out these Pride Project maps:

How cool is that??  Let's keep going, dear readers--I want YOU to be involved in this.  The more people who participate, the better this will be! 

Fill out the form below if you'll be attending Pride (even if it's one of the locations already represented).  All you've got to do is snap a few pics and write 1-2 sentences.

Hope you guys are as excited as I am!

Pride season is nearly upon us!  Wouldn't it be cool to attend Pride celebrations all over the world to see what they're like?  I was thinking about this the other day, and got an idea.

Go to your local pride, snap an interesting picture or two, write a couple sentences about that Pride celebration, and send it to me.  I'll compile them and post a virtual pride-fest online, with your pics and descriptions.  I want Prides from all over the world!  Big cities, podunk towns, Asia, the deep South, the Midwest, Amsterdam, and anywhere else there are BW readers.

Sound good?  Let's do it!  Just fill out the form below to be part of the project.  Think we can get 50 different Prides represented??  That's my (admittedly lofty) goal, but I think we can make it happen!

 

After I posted my index of blog topics for the past year, a Twitter follower mentioned that "femmes" aren't in the index.  I'd considered including femmes as a separate topic, but decided this would be redundant, since so much of my writing on relationship and dating pertains to femmes and butch-femme relationships.  (I list butch-butch relationships separately, though, since they tend to be much more of an exception than a rule.)

Still, that tweet got me thinking more specifically about the reasons I love femmes, even though I rarely date them myself.  Here are a few big ones:

1. Femmes take straight people out of their comfort zones, showing them that not everyone in the queer community "looks" gay.  When an attractive femme mentions her girlfriend, she can take people by surprise in a way that someone who "reads" gay (e.g., yours truly) cannot (well, unless I mention that I have an ex-husband).
   
2. Femmes appreciate butch attractiveness.  This makes me feel awesome, especially since the butch aesthetic is not always appreciated in the wider world.  Whether it's a femme friend who compliments my tie or a femme stranger who smiles at me in the bookstore, it's a wonderful feeling to know that someone "gets" (and likes) your look.
   
3. Femmes often smell nice.  It is a scientifically proven fact that femmes, on average, smell better than butches.  I like it when people smell nice.
4. Femmes help butches dress better.  Yes, there are some dapper fashion mavens among us, but not all butches have a talent for fashion (as a single visit to any lesbian bar quickly makes clear).  It's a boon to our community that femmes provide great fashion advice to their butch friends and lovers.
5. Femmes remind us that embracing a female masculinity is not the same thing as replicating a heterosexual dynamic or acting out the mainstream gender binary.  Typical hetero memes are so plentiful that sometimes butches start acting out the "dude" stereotype even if they don't mean to--and when we do, femmes call bullshit.
   
6. Femmes help "break the ice" for lesbian representation in mainstream media.  While it can be super frustrating to see only feminine lesbians represented, I have to wonder if lesbians would be on the big screen at all if it wasn't for femmes.  
7. Femmes add to the gorgeous diversity of the queer community, endlessly reminding us that it's not necessary for gay women to look or act or dress or speak a certain way.  They deal with "invisibility" as queers, and have to come out over and over again to be recognized for who they are.  That takes a lot of guts.

BTW, if you're someone who sees femmes romantically, check out Ivan Coyote's ode to femmes--it's great.

What makes you smile about femmes?  What are some of the things you appreciate most about femmes?

This weekend, I made an index of topics I've covered on BW in the past year.  I hope this makes it easier to check out posts on different subjects.

I know "tags" are supposed to serve this function, but to me they seem harder to use.  If you all find the index more useful, maybe I'll just do away with tags altogether.  Feedback welcome.  Happy browsing!