I was out having dinner
With a really good friend And stopped in the bathroom And then at the end While eyeing my brows And perfecting my hair And drying my hands With some nice, warmish air The door opened And I saw a woman’s shocked face. “Don’t worry,” I told her, “You’re in the right place.” And then she relaxed And went in to pee And I couldn’t help laughing! Folks who look like me-- Aren’t common in restaurants Or boardrooms, or stores Or suburbs, red states, Or behind bathroom doors. In some urban enclaves (And more so in rural) Us butchier folks Are not usually plural. So stand tall, dear butches And be proud and plucky-- When anyone sees you, They’re awfully lucky.
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A few months ago, I put this question to readers: What is your butch "style?" How is it different (if it's different) from being a man? One reader emailed me such a thorough answer that I've decided to feature it as its own post. If you have a take on butch style that you think is blog-worthy and you want to share with the world, email me and I just might feature it here! This answer comes from BT: I have been trying to define my butch style or what it means to be butch for me for awhile now. This is what I’ve come up with. 1. Dapperness Once I came out and finally felt comfortable in my own skin I really started having this desire to be dapper. Which I guess I always had it because I realize now I projected it onto my ex-husband, dressing him how I really wanted to but didn’t feel like I could. I love ties. Regular ties, bow ties, ties with intricate knots. Vests, suspenders, wingtips, cufflinks, 40’s style hats and pinstripes…love them. Some day when I can afford it, I will have a suit made by Saint Harridan. To me, being dapper is butch. 2. Ruggedness (Country) This could be seen as the opposite of dapper but it’s totally possible to be both. For me, ruggedness is butch.I am country at heart and to me these things are country and butch. 1) Working hard. I know you can work hard at a lot of things but I mean the being outside in 115 degree weather, digging irrigation trenches, putting up fences, plowing fields kind of working hard. 2) Trucks. That is, liking trucks, fixing trucks, and 4-wheeling in trucks. 3) Hunting, Fishing, Camping. There’s something about being out in the wilderness that really seems to bring out the butch. In addition, gutting and skinning animals, playing with fire and whittling. Along with those things… 4) Guns, knives, weapons of any sort. 5) Flannel, thermal, and big boots. Butch lumberjack without a beard. 6) Tools. Knowing what more than your basic tools are and how to use them. 7) Coors Light. 3. Other Stuff Some other things that I feel are butch: 1) Smoking pipe tobacco and cigars. 2) Epic war movies. 3) Demonstrating gentlemanly behavior like opening doors and pulling out chairs. 4) Death metal. 5) Leather working. 6) Wood working. 7) My LazyBoy. 8) Being a romancer. 4. Butch Femininity With all the masculine butch stuff aside, butch femininity. For me (and my lady) this is the most important ingredient. Without the butch femininity I’d just be a man. 1) Feminine intuition. Because of this I better know what’s going on with my lady. I see what she wants, know how to meet her needs, and can quickly tell when something is off or wrong. 2) My lady heart. All rough and tough on the outside but inside is a tender feminine heart with a great capacity to love in a way that only a woman can. 3) Sensitivity. 4) In a lot of ways I still think and feel like a woman so really being butch is the best of both worlds combined. So there it is as best as I can describe at this juncture. BT ...Do you agree with all of this, dear readers? What defines your butch style? |
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