Remember that post I wrote two days ago about Sunnie Kahle, the eight-year-old-girl who was kicked out of her Christian school for "looking like a boy?"  My MOM was the one who told me about the story; I think she saw a little of her daughter in Sunnie.  And my mom took ACTION!  She wrote a letter to Sunnie's principal, and gave me permission to share it with you all:


Dear Ms. Bowman,

Two days ago I read the Yahoo article about  Sunnie Kahle, the 8-year old who was, until recently, a student in your school and who was, in essence, asked to behave more like a girl.  That article hasn’t left my mind, so I decided to write to you.  I can’t begin to tell you how appalled and saddened I am by your position on this.  As a mother, grandmother, teacher, and most importantly, a Christian, I am surprised that you actually believe this is a Christian stand or that Christ would approve of such actions and comments.  It is this kind of thinking that contributes to both non-Christians and Christians from staying away from the church – they don’t want to be a part of a religious community that is so arrogant and judgmental.

My understanding of Christ’s teaching is that, rather than judging others, we should be trying to live our own lives as Christ lived.  Do you really think He would turn this young girl away because of her clothing or because her hair was too short or because she wasn’t feminine enough?  If you really believe that, then you and I pray to a different God.

So what is it that concerns you, really?  Are you simply afraid she might be “gay?”  I understand your worry – the very thought makes us “old- school” Christians quite uncomfortable.  My daughter was a tomboy as a young girl, much like Sunnie.  She donned short hair and jeans and played on various sports teams. Now a woman in her 30’s, my daughter is one of the kindest, most caring, gentle spirits I have ever known.  She is bright and courageous.  She holds steadfast to a strong moral foundation and her faith in God.

And, it turns out, she’s gay.  Trust me when I say, it wasn’t easy for any of us, and especially not for her.  It didn’t change her love for God, nor God’s love for her.  But it certainly gave God a chance to teach me a thing or two about His love.  It required us to really trust that God doesn’t make mistakes, and that he has a purpose for everyone’s life, and that He loves everyone.  I suspect God needed me to learn that the outside of a person – that is, their clothes, their hair, their sexual preference - was the wrapping to his gift.  The gift, the real blessing, is to be found in each individual’s soul.  The soul HE created.

I hope you come to see that this young lady, Sunnie Kahle, is just as special and unique, as much a blessing in our lives, as any other child, because she is God’s child.  To try to change her spirit, to “fix” God’s perfection – my heart breaks for you.  I hope you reconsider your stand and find peace in a new decision.

God bless.

An eight-year-old girl named Sunnie Kahle was recently informed that she was no longer welcome at a Baptist elementary school in Virginia via a letter that informed her grandparents (who are her guardians) that her gender nonconformity is out of line with God's plan.  One particularly scintillating excerpt reads, "God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity."

Uh...

Let's leave aside, for the moment, the possibility that Sunnie is trans*.  Let's assume (as her interviews seem to suggest) that she sees herself as female.  This means the school administrators at Timberlake Christian have taken it upon themselves to decide what female "dress and behavior" look like.  Unless the exactitudes of gendered fashion are spelled out in the Bible (and I don't remember reading that--do you?), this argument is absurd even on its own terms.  God has "ordained" that this kid has to wear the kinds of clothing and play with the kind of toys that the execs at Disney and Walmart have decided is most effectively marketed toward her gender?  Got it.

As a former little girl who was occasionally mistaken for a little boy, I know first-hand that it's not always fun.  Kids have hundreds of ways, subtle and not, to single out their norm-defying peers.  Expressing gender nonconformity, especially as a kid, is hard.  Sunnie Kahle should be lauded for using her God-given guts, not bullied by her school's administration for not fitting into their idea of what girls are "supposed" to be. 

I'm glad Sunnie has loving grandparents who stand by her just the way she is.  If all kids were so lucky, I bet teen suicide rate would be a lot lower.  In one interview, Sunnie's grandmother said that if Sunnie grows up to be a member of the LGBTQ crowd, she will "love her that much more."  Unconditional love, total acceptance...  sounds awfully Biblical.  Maybe Timberlake Christian should take a page from grandma's playbook.