7 Things Butches Can't Get Away With

As I've said many times in the past, being butch is awesome.  I love it, and it's natural for me, and I wouldn't want to be any other way.  That said, society doesn't always know what to make of us.  In public settings, there are a few things that butchy looking women can't get away with quite as easily as other women can.

1. Waving at kids.  If you're on the streets of Berkeley, sure.  But venture more than a few steps into midtown USA, and you're setting yourself up for some serious glares.  I've found fathers to be the worst.  What the heck, guys?  I promise that waving back at me won't make your kid gay.
   
2. Being non-emotive.  Being gruff or grouchy or simply impassive in public risks provoking the "angry butch lesbian" assumption in people.  I feel like I have to continually prove to strangers that I'm a big goofy bucket of sunshine (which, luckily, is somewhat accurate).
3. Coming quickly out of the women's restroom.  This is a great way to get unwanted attention in a variety of ways, including frightening women who are just coming in.  I just smile and say, "Everything okay?"  Faces redden.  Relief ensues.
4. Going bra-shopping.  Admittedly, this one is probably all in my head.  I feel like people will think I'm some skeevy dude or wannabe dude looking lasciviously at the lingerie--when in truth, I'm just trying to find a sportsbra that fits.
5. Complaining about gender inequality.  My complaints about gender inequality sometimes provoke people to give me monologues on gender essentialism, explaining how "most women" want to dress a certain way, do a certain thing, or whatever.  Attention: my critiques about gender inequality aren't prompted by a belief that makeup and heels are "wrong."  They're prompted by anger at, um, gender inequality.  
6. Charming men accidentally.  When I was a straight-presenting woman, I thought guys were so nice!  Free headlight changes?  Check! Free extra scoop of ice cream?  Check!  Evolving into my true butchy self was accompanied by a realization that most men are nice...  but they are extra nice to gender-conforming women they find attractive.  
7. Talking about male exes.  True, I do this sometimes just to shake up people's assumptions.  But if I mention my ex-husband (as it sometimes makes sense to do in explaining something about my past or the still-unchanged last name on one of my credit cards), I get double- and triple-takes, often followed by a conversation about how any man could possibly have NOT known I was gay (answer: I didn't act gay, look [that] gay, or know I was gay), whether said man is gay (no), and whether we are friends (yes).  Why do people liberated to ask me these things?  It must be my aforementioned bucket-of-sunshine disposition.

These are just some initial thoughts, dear readers.  Is there anything else that should be on this list?  Is there anything YOU can't get away with as easily because you're butch?