Here's Part Two of this Extremely Important Field Guide. Stay tuned for the third installment, which will include Rocker Butch, Granola Butch, and others!
The Badass Butch
Example: Skyler Cooper
Pros: Can beat your brother in arm wrestling
Cons: May make sure that your brother is aware of this.
Looks especially good: On her motorcycle, and/or in a white tank top. (The Badass Butch is a close relative of the Biker Butch.)
Care instructions: It may take a while for Badass Butches to open up to you, so be patient (they're a little like Handy Butches in this way). They know how hot they are, and they're used to getting away with stuff because of it. Don't assume they can't cook, or that they're stone. They just may surprise you!
The Classic Soft Butch
Example: Ellen DeGeneres
Pros: Can take her home to Mom
Cons: May be a little vanilla at times.
Looks especially good: Greeting you at the door in casual clothes, totally clueless about how hot she looks.
Care instructions: She may appear a little boring at first, but there's more to most Classic Soft Butches than meets the eye. Give her some time and you won't want to let her go. You'll have to ignore your friends, who may tell you that she's "not really butch." But you know better.
The Handy Butch
Example: Jenny Shimizu (well, when she's being a mechanic, not when she's modeling...).
Pros: Good with her hands.
Cons: Sometimes a little rough around the edges.
Looks especially good: Under your hood with a dab of oil on her cheek.
Care instructions: Higher maintenance than you might suspect. Be kind: under the gruff exterior is a sensitive woman (with, y'know, insecurities and stuff). She may not want to shower even after a day in the garage, but you can coax her in by offering to scrub her up.
Example: Jenny Allard
Pros: Terrific with kids. Even if she doesn't have any children, she's her nieces' and nephews' favorite aunt.
Cons: May have to be closeted, depending where she works.
Looks especially good: in sunglasses, shouting from the the third base line.
Care instructions: Her obsession with sports may be time consuming, so make sure you have a time-consuming hobby or job of your own. Remind her to wear sunscreen, and remember not to wash her lucky socks.
The Dandy Butch & The Dapper Butch
Example of a Dapper: Susan Herr (not pictured), founder of DapperQ.
Example of a Dandy: Bee Listy (pictured), blogger and stitcher extraordinaire.
Pros: Will take you shopping and share her great taste and playful sense of style.
Cons: May take longer than you do to get ready in the morning.
Looks especially good: Out on the town, at Thanksgiving dinner... Anywhere she goes, she's got a dapper/dandy outfit for it.
Care instructions: Dandy butches seem more likely than other butch varieties to swoon over other butches. Dapper Butches--maybe, maybe not. Dapper Butches and Hipster Butches share many commonalities, but Dappers are more earnest and own more bow ties. Both subspecies frequently use silk handkerchiefs (which match their outfits).
More to come! While I have your attention, please take a sec to vote Butch Wonders for favorite lesbian blog of the year: http://lesbianlife.about.com/library/bl-rca-lesbian-blog.htm. You can vote daily, and I hope you will!