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A Field Guide to Butches (Part III)

3/10/2012

20 Comments

 
Here's the third installment of A Field Guide to Butches.  Remember: while some butch species are elusive, with patience and determination you can seek out and find them all.
Picture
via threeimaginarygirls.com
The Rocker Butch
Example: Chris Pureka
Pros: Romantic.  Not clingy.  Will write you a song for Valentine's Day.
Cons: Lots of time on the road.
Looks especially good: With her hands on her favorite instrument.
Care instructions: Rocker butches tend to be nocturnal, so you'll need to adjust your schedule accordingly.  Wash her sweatshirts regularly; she may not do this on her own.  When she's on tour, email her some Yelp links to vegetarian restaurants in the podunk town she's playing in to let her know you're thinking of her.  Oh--and unless you're on tour with her, make sure her roadie's not too cute.

The Granola Butch (not pictured)
Commonly found: At womyn's music concerts, Burning Man, miscellaneous small towns in rural western Oregon and rural western Massachusetts.
Pros: Amazing vegan baker, great listener, might have a trust fund.
Cons: Liable to change her name to "Melodious Crystal Windchime" or "Earthchild Womyn Rainbowrock." 
Looks especially good: At dusk, around the campfire.
Care instructions: It may be necessary to press certain realities upon her--e.g., Tom's of Maine doesn't actually work; white people look stupid in dreds.  And since she's going to insist on playing acoustic guitar anyway, it's probably worth it to invest in some lessons for her. 
Picture
via metroweekly.com
The Activist Butch
Example: Rea Carey
Pros: Righteous passion is hot.
Cons: A political defeat can make for a sullen couple of weeks.
Looks especially good: In front of a microphone, speaking to a crowd. 
Care instructions: If she's like Rea, she'll look stellar in a suit.  But not all activist butches keep professional duds in their closet, so make sure to help her stock her wardrobe for all occasions.  And keep plenty of poster board and markers on hand.

Picture
via prioloandco.com
The Butch Sophisticate (aka The Silver Fox)
Example: Kate Clinton
Pros: Has plenty of practice, knows what she likes.
Cons: Already knowing what she likes can make her stubborn as hell.
Looks especially good: In expensive fabrics; in European cafes; stepping out of a cab.
Care instructions: She's been there and done that, so you'll have to work to keep her interested.  Music tastes may require updating.  She has a lot to teach you, so get ready to learn.

Butch Don Juan (not pictured)
Commonly Found: In your local lesbian bar (even on weeknights).
Pros: If you want to have some no-strings fun, she's your butch.
Cons: Has slept with half the people in the bar; may wear excessive amounts of cologne; somewhat arrogant.
Looks Especially Good: After you've had a few drinks.
Care Instructions: Not suitable for long-term use, the Butch Don Juan will woo you for a few days, then drop you abruptly for the next shiny new femme who struts into town.  That said, it may be a great few days.  The trick is spotting this butch early, so you don't get duped into thinking she's going to stick around.
Picture
courtesy SHukura
The Slick Butch
Example: SHukura (budding actor, pictured left)
Pros: Can say "Hey baby" without it sounding cheesy or ironic.
Cons: Knows how good she looks.
Looks Especially Good: In leather; in gold.
Care Instructions: Not to be confused with the Butch Don Juan, although the two species are closely related.  The Slick Butch can be distinguished by the fact that instead of trying to pick you up, she'll hand you her number and leave the club early with a wink and a grin. 

Butch in Uniform (not pictured)
Commonly Found: Police stations; fire departments; the military.
Pros: She's a butch in uniform--what more do you need?
Cons: Gets deployed to do various dangerous things on a regular basis.
Looks Especially Good: In a white T-shirt and her uniform pants and boots.
Care Instructions: Make sure her uniform is neatly pressed.  Don't keep her up too late; she needs to get up in the morning.  At night, her muscles may be sore, a problem you can easily solve by giving them a nice rub-down.
Picture
via robinroemer.blogspot.com
The Teddy Bear Butch
Example: Julie Goldman
Pros: Amazing cuddler; makes excellent scrambled eggs.
Cons: May not get out of her PJs till noon if she can help it.
Looks Especially Good: In boxers and a T-shirt.
Care Instructions: The Teddy Bear Butch is closely related to the Classic Soft Butch; indeed, the  subspecies sometimes overlap.  If the Teddy Bear Butch has trouble getting out of bed, get an eyedropper full of coffee, place it between her lips, and gently release the coffee into her mouth.  Repeat until her body is vertical.

Picture
via gothamist.com
Butch Cocktails
Some butches are easily identified as one of the species I've discussed here, but some are a mixture of multiple species.  This can make things confusing, but also fun.  For example, here's one Butch Cocktail recipe:
2 parts Activist Butch +
3 parts Geeky/Intellectual Butch +
a dash of Teddy Bear Butch +
a tiny pinch of Hipster Butch
= Rachel Maddow

What's your butch cocktail of choice?
Or: what butch cocktail are you?

20 Comments
Meek
3/11/2012 06:10:55 am

Hmmm, what butch cocktail am I?
3 parts classic soft butch
2 parts teddy bear butch
1 part slick butch
= Meek ;-)

Reply
travelling world link
6/29/2012 05:49:54 pm

Est-il acceptable que si je demande une chose un peu hors sujet? Je tente d'afficher cette page web sur mon nouvel

Reply
AJ link
3/11/2012 07:17:33 am

2 parts teddy bear+ 1 part each: rocker, activist, and sophisticate=my butch.

Okay, maybe 3 parts teddy bear, lol.

Reply
Wini H
3/11/2012 07:30:48 am

My partner and I aren't any of those. We must be very unique butches haha.

Reply
teddy bear link
3/12/2012 08:45:26 am

I have been looking for sites like this for a long time. Thank you! they are awesome)

Reply
teddy bear link
3/12/2012 08:46:35 am

wow great i have read many articles about this topic and everytime i learn something new i dont think it will ever stop always new info , Thanks for all of your hard work!

Reply
Paige
3/11/2012 07:37:12 am

I am most certainly 2 parts Teddy Bear Butch + 1 part Classic Soft Butch + 1 part Geeky/Intellectual Butch + 1 part Handy Butch = me!

I'm pretty sure that most of us have some crazy combinations!

Reply
ciaran
3/11/2012 08:37:01 am

Loved it!
I'm also a cocktail: some badass, some soft, some intellectual, dapper activist.

Reply
Anne
3/12/2012 05:56:27 am

Love these posts - maybe you could turn them into a poll to see how many of us identify with each type!

as for me

1 parts teddy bear butch
1 party handy butch
1 part soft butch
1 part geeky/intellectual butch

= Daddy bear butch - that's what my wife calls me

Reply
Manda
3/12/2012 02:31:21 pm

love the idea of turning responses into a poll !!!

Reply
Joslyn C
3/12/2012 01:49:20 pm

Oh man, I wish someone would do a "types of femmes" post! That one would be so funny, too!

Reply
Mad Hatter
3/13/2012 03:45:21 am

LOVED this series of guides!! Thank you for doing this :)

Reply
Sue
3/13/2012 11:23:07 am

So many butches.......so little time. A cliche, but it had to be said!

Reply
Sheri
3/13/2012 03:52:11 pm

I would classify myself as a t-shirt and jeans, hipster butcher. Oh yea sometimes I will wear a tie!

Reply
Alex
3/20/2012 11:18:03 am

Im the teddy bear butch!!! SAME AS JULIE GOLDMAN :D I love her
Also, probably the beiber butch :3

Reply
Alex
3/20/2012 11:19:22 am

Teddy Bear and Classic Soft butch soooo Ellen and JULIE GOLDMAN *drool*

Reply
Jojo
3/22/2012 07:31:07 am

Well the Butch in my life is a quite the “Cocktail” with these ingredients. The Butch Sophisticate, The Teddy Bear Butch, The Classic Soft Butch, The Activist Butch....And she has this Femme totally addicted xxx

Reply
Cherry
4/18/2012 07:56:17 am

I identify as a soft butch usually. But I'm not vanilla, so... I say 5 parts Bad Ass Butch, 2 parts each Teddy Bear and Soft Butch, and 1 each Slick and Don Juan. I'm the one who wears a denim skirt and knee high stiletto boots with a football jersey and and a spritz of Polo ;)

Reply
Aiden
2/5/2013 07:53:38 am

I'm definitely a cocktail of
+3 parts of activist Butch
+2 parts rockstar butch
+ a pinch of teddy bear butch

Reply
Adrian link
1/29/2014 12:52:52 am

I have been looking for content like this for a research project I am working. Thanks very much.

Reply

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