Aged Dykes

I recently read this story in the New York Times about a photographer who takes pictures of old animals.  I find the pictures beautiful, and they made me think about aging.  I've long thought societies that revere and cherish older people have gotten it right.  I live in the U.S., where people start saying they're "getting old" in their thirties or forties, where people love getting carded, and where it's considered insulting for someone to guess that a person (especially a woman) is older than she really is.

I'd like to think that the lesbian community is different, and that we have tons of respect for the older (by "older," I mean 60s or 70s plus) dykes among us.  But I'm not sure this is true.  More than once, I've heard people my own age (30s) talk disparagingly about older lesbians, saying that they don't "get it" with regards to boi culture, or trans culture, or some other aspect of contemporary queer life.  (And, to be fair, I've occasionally heard older lesbians say disparaging things about queer youth culture, too.)

Why does this age divide exist?  Maybe because LGBTQ history and culture have evolved so rapidly in the last 50 years.  Maybe those who came of age in the Stonewall era share less with their younger counterparts than is true for straight people.  I don't think so, though; I suspect it's a manifestation of a broader tendency to dismiss older people rather than integrating them into society and seeking their wisdom.  And why does this tendency exist?  Are we obsessed with "progress," which we conflate with youth and newness?  Does hanging out with old people scare us because we don't understand it?  Does it force us to confront our own mortality?

It's especially important for the LGBTQ community to take care of its older members, because in many ways, it's harder to be an old dyke than it is to be an old straight woman.  Here are a few reasons why:

• Lesbians have more health problems than straight women do.  (This stems in part from higher rates of obesity, smoking, and alcohol abuse among lesbians than among straight women.)  Heath problems become more severe with age.
• While many lesbians have kids, we are less likely to have them than straight women are.  Old people are often taken care of by their kids; a lot of lesbians lack this resource.
• Lesbians are more likely than straight women to be alienated from their families.  This means fewer financial resources, but also fewer social ones--leading to increased rates of depression.  
• Lesbians often have few legal resources if their partner dies.  The deceased partner's family may challenge the living partner's legal standing to keep property or other assets that previously belonged to the couple.
  

I'm curious to know what you all think about this.  In general, do you think the queer community takes care of older dykes?  Should we? 

Do you ever hang out with older lesbians?  What's it like?  Tell us about your experiences: positive, negative, whatever.  And if you're a 60+ lesbian reading this blog, I'd love to hear your perspective about younger queers.