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An Age Divide in People's Opinions About Butches' Clothing Choices?

6/11/2014

4 Comments

 
A few weeks ago I wrote this article recounting my pseudo-gender-conforming job search.  Shortly thereafter, a butch superstar six or seven years ahead of me in my field reached out about the article, and we ended up having coffee and chatting about her experiences.  Not only was she even more awesome than I’d hoped, but she had interesting theories about butch clothing selection that are way too interesting not to share.

Said superstar proposed the following:
  • There's a big divide around age 50 or so.  The divide isn't due to age, but to generation (that is, 45-year-olds will not suddenly change their minds in 5 years).  People, including lesbians, 50 and older tend to believe that butchy lesbians should wear gender conforming clothing (not heels and lipstick, but at least women’s suits and a pair of earrings).  By "should," I'm not talking about a moral imperative, but about a strategic decision.  People 50 and younger, on the other hand, think butchy lesbians should wear men's clothing, if they so desire, and believe that nothing bad is likely to come of it.
  • People who are liable to discriminate against me because I look like a big ol' dyke won't be less likely to discriminate against me just because I've a small effort at gender conformity.
  • If I "look like a lesbian" and I'm wearing men's clothing, I will at least be recognizable as a type—a butch dyke they can put in a particular box.  They'll like me or they won't, but at least they'll know where to file me.  If I'm wearing, say, a string of pearls but still "look like a [butch] lesbian," it's a little harder to stick me in a box, and the inability to stick others in boxes makes people uncomfortable. 

The bottom line is that Superstar says to go for a men's suit next time—at least, it worked for her.  So maybe I will.  Or maybe I'll go back and forth, since I like both men's and women's suits that are relatively gender-neutral in appearance (e.g., no cutesy buttons for women's suits, no mega-structured shoulders for men's suits).  But I do like wearing ties, which tend to look better with men's suits.  Superstar had no major opinion on ties, since she doesn't wear them herself, but since they are THE quintessential "men's" professional clothing item, maybe a tie would be more likely to be looked on unfavorably by prospective hirers.

What do you think about Superstar’s theories?  Let's unscientifically test one of them!  Click here to take a SUPER-quick 2-question quiz.  I'll post the results this weekend.

4 Comments
Ish
6/11/2014 08:36:31 pm

I don't think I'm alone when I say I wear mens clothes for protection. As a child growing up I was forced to have sex five different times by guys who thought they could change me. I started rebelling against my mother and the dresses she made me wear. I'd come home from school with a ruined dress until she bought me jeans and t-shirts. I cut my hair just so she had to take me to get it "fixed." The more I looked like a boy the less interest boys took in me. I knew i liked girl's before any guys forced me and let me tell ya I've never felt more gay in my life. If a man looks at me with interest of the sexual nature, I am sure he must be bi or gay bc i get sirred more than most men...and it makes me feel gay. With a woman, i feel straight. I feel whole. I don't feel like a queer. It's all natural for me. I don't claim either gender. I am born female. I have more male hormones than female in 60% of my body. 55% unnoticed by the human eye 5% facial/body hair. Yes, of course I shave my face, underarms and legs...and my unmentionables, but if i let my facial hair grow it's the perfect goatee and women love it...so do men....so yeah, protection.

Reply
Jamie Ray link
6/13/2014 07:00:04 am

Even though I am in the over 50 category, I say wear either man-tailored with no feminine embellishments, or men's clothing - as long as it looks good on you (it needs to fit and drape properly) and you need to be comfortable in it. Either way they are going to know you are butch, and that will have an effect that you have no control over.
I don't believe in trying to pretend to be straight or feminine, and I never could pull it off anyway. My last interview outfit came from Talbots petite department - it was women's but mannish enough and it fit. For me to wear men's business wear I need a lot of tailoring.

It is all going to depend on who does the interviewing, over which you have little control. There is still a lot of anti-gay, anti-queer, anti-butch sentiment out there and it continues to be hard in this economy to win a job. I think you have a better chance if you come off as comfortable and confident, and do the best with the clothes.

Reply
Lavndrblue
7/21/2014 10:41:40 am

I'm almost 60 and have spent the past 35 years trying to conform to what the corporate environment dictated women should wear. I have gone from dresses and heels to women's 'pant suits', to.........well what ever I thought would make me feel comfortable. I finally have transitioned over the past couple of years to wearing men's clothing, and finally feel like me! I don't feel 'manly', I just feel more comfortable and confident. I do get some looks at work from some, but I just smile and move on.
I say, just wear what makes you feel confident when walking into a job interview. Most just want to know what skills you bring to the table and don't care what you wear! And if they do care, you don't want to work there anyway!

Reply
Augusta Plumbers link
9/28/2022 09:12:50 am

Thanks for thiss

Reply



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