April's Best Search Terms

At the end of each month, I kind of look forward to checking out the list of odd search terms that brought people to BW.  Among my favorites for April:

• "why does everyone want to be with a butch woman" (Because we're all super hot.)
• "are chukka boots gay" (Only the ones that pair up with other chukka boots.)
  
• "calvin klein" "they have the" "the tie"  ("That is a" "good point."  "Indeed, they probably" "have several" "ties.")
• "what happens at the end of the pet milk story by stuart dybek" (The story is literally three pages long.  Read it yourself.)
• "do butches ever put dresses on"  (Yeah.  Wanna see?)
• "butch females & fems having sex videos" (Videos of butches and femmes having sex?  Or butches and femmes who own sex videos?  So confusing.)
• "what do butch lesbians wear to the beach" (This stuff.)
• "san francisco lesbians tube" (More on these mysterious lesbian tubes... Will this ever stop?)
• "sanfrancisco lesbians tube" (I mean, seriously, people!)
• "s.f. dyketube" (Sigh.)
• "my girlfriend says shes at a friends" (Liar!)
• "lesbian tubes" (Aaack!)
• "why does rachel maddow dress like a man" (Can somebody else please field this one?  Just looking at it makes me tired.)
• "butch females are annoying"  (But not as annoying as ignorance.)
• "how to encourage a gay hitting on a straight guy" (I'd try something like, "Yo, stop it.  That dude's straight.")
• "val" "long distance relationship" (If your significant other's name is "Val," I'd say your search may be a little too specific.)
• "my girlfriend wants an open faced panini sex style
  (Um.  What?)
• "men wearing timberlad boot sock fetish" (What's a weirder fetish, Timberland socks or open-faced paninis?  I say it's a toss-up)
• "men hugging each other" (The world's mildest fetish)
• "how to get a butchs attention" (Throw a chukka boot at her.)
• "best way to be butc" (First step: master the spellchec functio.)
• "girls tie guys up and put makeup on them" (Well, yes.  But only for Cinco de Mayo.)
• "gay man in Splint"  (An unlikely scenario.  Gay people's bones are made of titanium and are exceedingly durable.)
• "does forest green shirt and blue undershirt match?" (No.)
• "can you wear dress vest unbuttoned" (Yes, unless it's a formal setting and you're wearing a jacket.)
• "can you wear cufflinks without a suit" (Yes.)
• "can you wear a black shirt under a white button up" (Yes, but you definitely shouldn't.)
• "butch women turn me on" (Well, as we established above, they are super hot, so that's to be expected.)
• "why are lesbians crazy" (Because people keep hiding our lesbian tubes.)
• "what does it mean when man embraces women" (It means he wants an open faced panini sex style.)

Stay tuned for the next thrilling entry.  What'll it be?  Lesbians in Alaska?  A tale of underground dyke communities in far-flung regions of the world?  A list of ways butches screw up relationships?  These are just a few of the great guest post ideas that your fellow readers are cooking up.  I have a feeling you're going to like this feature...

That's a wrap for today.  Be well, butches!