Z and K, butch-butch couple extraordinaire
_Gay Within the Gay Community
When I first came out, I quickly understood two things: (1) I was butch; (2) I was interested in butch women. It took me a few months to realize that the co-occurrence of these two things was a bit unusual. I read dozens of online profiles in which devastatingly attractive butches proclaimed their desire to find a femme who could "balance" them.
I hope my loyal readers will forgive me for this, but back then, I really didn't understand butch-femme relationships. Wasn't a big perk of being a lesbian to get away from gender roles? Why would anyone want a relationship that replicated heterosexuality? Of course, this is silly; butch-femme relationships aren't "replicating" heterosexuality any more than my butch DGF and I are "replicating" a homosexual male relationship. When two phenomena are similar, sloppy thinking can lead to the conclusion that the less culturally privileged one is imitating the other. I was engaged in sloppy thinking.
Anyway, the lack of butch-loving butches to date led me to give femmes a whirl. But dating femmes felt a lot like dating men: it was something I was supposed to like, but it felt strange and unnatural. It just wasn't me. (The main upside to dating femmes seemed to be that it was easier to find my clothes on the floor next to theirs!)
So I resigned myself to the fact that I was the rare butch who is into other butchy/boi/andro types. I found plenty of butch-femme socials and butch-femme mixers, but no butch-butch ones. And there were all kinds of informal social sanctions for cruising other butches. It was a little like being gay within the gay community. This is reinforced by the fact that some people call butch-loving-butches "fag butches."
I've had several readers ask about butch-butch relationships (whether they want to be in one or not). Since this is an object of such intense curiosity, I thought I'd give it some attention. I interviewed 10 butches who are currently in a relationship with another butch, and another five who are single and looking to date other butches.
Opposites Don't Always Attract: How Butch-Butch Couples Meet
Almost universally, the butches I interviewed said that it's difficult to find butchy types who want to date other butchy types. In fact, one of them (who lives in New York City) called it a "dating nightmare." Even butches who are open to dating other butches don't always end up doing so, since it's easier to find femme dates. Dating online widens your dating pool, and the majority of my respondents met their partners this way. The handful of butch-butch couples who met in person did so at a bar, a dinner, or through a mutual friend. Personally, I met my DGF through one of those dorky "come meet other lesbians" dinners (and I was only there because my DXH forced me to go).
When two butches are attracted to each other, they can be terribly shy about making the first move, and may assume that there's no mutual attraction. To carry the gay male metaphor further: if a straight guy hits on a lesbian and gets rejected, he doesn't lose face. It's just a bummer. But if a gay guy hits on a straight guy and gets rejected, there's more at stake. The straight guy might interpret it as a threat to his masculinity. This puts the gay guy in a more vulnerable position than the straight guy. Same deal with butches. Hit on a butch who is only into femmes, and you may find yourself subject to a negative rebuff (which, in turn, can wound your own butch pride). Chelsie writes, "[Telling] my butch friends what I'm attracted to was a mini version of coming out of the closet."
Added to this is the machismo two butches can exude when they meet each other. Sometimes they puff out their chests and shake hands as if to say, "Yeah, we're both women who are into woman, but to each other we're bros, not sex objects." As K told me, "if [a butch] has got her 'cool suit' on, as so many butches do, it can be impossible to read her." Stacy described something similar: "There is something that I call a 'Butch Barrier' (and no, it's not a dental dam) because it's hard to get close to other butches... I think it makes dating even harder. Plus some butches are totally turned off by the thought of another butch."
Jess and her partner Beth
_Advice for Single Butch-Loving Butches
AJ and Jo: "Just because someone looks all butch and uber tough doesn't mean they always have the confidence and personality to match... Go up and introduce yourself and talk and listen, see where it goes from there."
K: "[S]tart by talking to them as friends... There are not a lot of constructs of behaviors for butches interested in butches, because... it's pretty rare and unexplored (in available writings, at least -- I have no doubt that the butch-loving butches have been finding each other since way before Stonewall).
Jess: "The idea of butch/butch is not always accepted in our community, but don't give up... When I didn't think I was going to find someone, Beth came into my life and changed it forever."
Z: "To another butch/boi who wants to date another butch/boi but is having trouble finding dates, I say, don't give up. First you gotta put out to the universe what you are looking for... Put an ad on Craigslist, be specific... Try some online forums/bulletin boards, go to a gay bookstore and hang out getting to know people. Someone will know someone who is single and looking to date. Put the word out."
__eL: "[B]e social, friendly, talk to people that you find attractive... and if you do go out, please dance! A butch dancing is a sexy thing - don't be so shy!"
LG: "Try dating older butches."
K: "If she grins at you nonstop at [a] party... that is a promising signal to go ahead and flirt with her... think of this uncharted territory as Your Territory: One of the few areas of your life that can be untainted by stereotypes, assumptions, and stupid old American Puritanism."
KT: "Sometimes a butch thinks she isn't attracted to other butches, but then she meets you and whammo. Also sometimes people are more attracted to mannerisms than physical appearance. I dress more masculine than my partner but am more effeminate in my gestures. If I was gruff or traditionally masculine, she probably wouldn't have been interested in me."
Donnie: "Keep trying, it's out there, you just have to look harder. There are online butch/butch dating sites such as www.butchboi.com."
K.D: "Don't be afraid to let your feelings be known. I feel like there are more butches that want to date butches out there but because of societal norms many are afraid to say it. Speak up, perhaps another butch has a crush on you but they think you only dates femmes so they are being reserved."
Becca: "I have known people who have had good luck finding this kind of thing online, but that has never been the case for me. I usually wind up dating butches who I am friends with first."
O: "In my experience butches are never as hard and tough as you might think they would be...everybody just wants to be loved, so dont be shy, never know if you don't try."
Hope you're enjoying this little butch-butch exposé. Tomorrow: Butch-butch relationships, part II. Who wears the... pants? And more!
A huge thank you to the wonderful butches who let me interview them: AJ and Jo, K (aka Chopper) and Z (aka Zed), eL, LG and KT, Donnie, Becca and K.D., Jess and Beth, O, Stacy, Chelsie, Lisa and Jennie, and a handful of others who preferred to remain anonymous.
1/21/2012 04:05:31 pm
i'm butch.. love my femmes.. so why do i attract butches.. i let em know i'm not interested.. yet it seems every gurl/femme i date or have a relationship with start to come on as dykes.. lol so whats with that..
8/23/2020 07:51:14 pm
I'?m s trans women looking for a soft buy h
1/21/2012 04:31:55 pm
Wonderful article. However, there must be a cultural divide between USA and Australia. Its my impression that the B-B is far more accpted in Australia, than the B-F.
1/21/2012 04:56:40 pm
I know as a lesbian I should be open minded but I find butch on butch as disturbing as butch women who don't embrace any part if their femininity. Don't try to fit yourself into a ' mans ' world because your more accepted that way. There is nothing sexier than a butch who has a soft side hidden beneath their hard exterior. I an a femme.very much for my butch women. when I see a butch on butch I feel it's such a waste, kind of like butch women with straight women.
1/21/2012 09:04:00 pm
@ Jane... As a butch I identify as masculine but do not consider myself part of a man's world. It is interesting to think about being in touch with masculinity and femininity as these things are so culturally defined. There is no strict definition; it's very fluid. If two people care about each other deeply, I am not sure how any relationship could be a waste. I thank you for your comment.
Disturbing? That's a really harsh word. There's nothing disturbing about my relationship with another butch--it's the healthiest, most mature, loving relationship I've ever been in my life. You don't know what parts of femininity any of us butches embrace because you don't know us inside & out.
1/22/2012 11:53:46 am
Thank you for saying what I wanted to say in a far more polite way than I wanted to say it.
11/24/2012 11:23:38 pm
I so agree with you and "m" . That's rude. I'm butch in my looks and not so much in mannerisms. I have always been more attracted to butch women. The bottom line is if you find love, what does it matter? Some people look a lifetime and never find it. If a butch gal came along and knocked me off my feet you better bet she will get my attention. And nothing is sexier to me! Great artical.
12/18/2013 10:54:01 pm
I really admire what you said. :)
1/23/2012 03:56:53 am
as a femme who mostly dates butches (not exclusively) i find your statement rude and EXTREMELY self absorbed. a waste? why? because they are not pandering to your personal desires?? who cares? if people are happy together, what is wasteful about that? get a grip
2/28/2012 03:32:29 am
I'm a butch, and i love femme women.. to me butch on butch looks funny.. I don't have a problem with it if that is what floats your boat..If your happy in that way of life be who u are and live life to the fulliest... It's hard trying to find femme women.. I know..I love life and have had hard times to but, I keep my head up and move on and hope one day that special someone will come into my life..
6/13/2012 10:42:17 am
Really? Loser. Enjoy your kkk rally.
3/8/2017 02:03:59 am
Kkk? Don't see what that has to do with the LGBT community at all.
6/7/2013 03:49:05 am
You find a woman who opts out of femininity disturbing. I see it liberating. A mans world? nothing should be reserved for men only, all forms of expression should be open to women. If you want to stay in your cultural femininity box then do so, but do not police other women who dont.
11/26/2017 05:03:41 am
I have known since I have been a young woman that I am happier when I am my bald headed androgynous tomboy self. I have also known that I am only attracted to other very androgynous tombois and very Butch women. I think seeing two butch or very androgynous gender queer womyn together is very exciting! And perhaps it scares you more than a little has a femme?
4/7/2020 01:03:55 am
That's so mean! It's a waste? That sounds like when men say a pretty lesbian is a waste. We aren't putting on a front to be accepted, I simply like the same presentation in myself and my partner.
1/22/2012 01:40:34 am
As an African American butch who ONLY dates other butches it's SUPER hard to find other butches to date. Butch/butch relationships are especially NOT tolerated within the black lesbian community. I've been harassed and verbally assaulted on multiple occasions. But I stood up and fought back through education, visibility and the creation of stud for stud porn. Slowly butch/butch relationships are being recognized
1/22/2012 02:32:05 am
Kai...I'm wondering what region you live in. My ex is black (I'm white) and she didn't experience much negative feedback about dating another butch but she definitely got some for dating a white girl.
5/11/2014 12:10:09 am
I'm a butch that's half African American and dating a white boi. My other family member don't mind but find it odd because we both look masculine. But my grandmother has trust issues towards "the whites" and apparently won't let me see my girlfriend because it's perverse to her. It isn't fair because I'm turning 18 in a month and she still treats me like I'm 7
1/22/2012 05:05:24 am
@ Kai Thank you for your comment. I am also and African American butch I live in SoCal San Diego to be exact and I am having the same issues. Im interested in dating and meeting more people like us.Where did you find S4S porn?
5/31/2012 11:46:20 am
I am butch for butch but I am dating a femme to fit in I am ashamed of this but being a black lesbian in the south there is virtually NO DATING SCENE
6/1/2012 02:36:38 pm
Dang, that's rough. Have you tried looking online? I'm guessing so, but if not, try it. I def. don't recommend dating someone just to fit in... seems like that wouldn't be fair to her *or* to yourself... Just my 2 cents, though.
7/16/2015 08:09:42 pm
I applaud you in your fight. This is 2015, not the dark ages! It sounds to me, like lesbians out there who make such comments or judgements about who should be with whom, are not only expressing their own feelings of inadequacy, but are also betraying the kinship that should be shared between fellow lesbians. Isn't what you do in your private bedroom your business and no one else's ? I think this labeling shit is all so pretentious . I present butch because I like my masculinity. I know I am not the same as a man, and I have no desires to be. Am I attracted to really strong, muscly women? Bloody oath I am. Do I care who knows it? Not for a second. Anyone worth caring about will love you how you are.....warts and all!!!
1/22/2012 01:43:40 am
I just think it is interesting who we are attracted too...I consider myself more femme, and have had a friend tell me I am 'limiting' myself by just liking women who are more butch, but I don't know how to change who I am attracted to (or not sure I want to)....but I do understand that there is more to a initimate relationship than just physical attraction. I find it is easier to just stay open to what things are coming up for me and then questioning myself about where that thought may have come from....
1/22/2012 02:28:47 am
Jane's comments are pretty common. I had a femme tell me once that two butches together is unnatural and I've had similar comments flung towards from other people as well. While it sucks to have homophobia coming from the gay "community" I've learned to let it roll off my back.
1/22/2012 02:31:52 am
This issue happens a lot to fems who are attracted to butches as well. I get a lot of comments from straight people AND sometimes other fems about being attracted to butches. "Why not just be with a man?" blah, blah. I think it would even be easier for my family to see me with another fem because then in public my gayness wouldn't be so "obvious." I cannot control the type of woman I am attracted to anymore than I can control being attracted to another woman in the first place. Also, to Jane Doe- My butch gf has a lot more "feminine" characteristics than I do...they are not as obvious to strangers but they are there.
1/22/2012 02:42:20 am
I was just thinking about how frustrating it is to find butch women who want to date me as a single genderqueer boi. Nothing gets me hotter than an old school butch top. Anyways I love this post, thanks for posting.
1/27/2012 11:00:42 am
All you bois lookin, give me a shout! ;))
12/18/2013 11:00:01 pm
I am always on the lookout ;)
6/28/2017 11:47:21 pm
Opening ourselves up to any opportunity for finding that one womon who fits the puzzle of our lives just increases the possibility of success. I am genderqueer leaning toward butch who is celebrating my anniversary with a Dominant stone butch womon. We have been together 23 years this August. The butch-butch battle for relational dominance was something we worked through within the first few years of being together. I believe once that battle for hierarchy was finished and established, our relationship solidified. Butch-butch relationships may be a bit of additional work to smooth out, but I believe is well worth it.
1/22/2012 03:23:59 am
1/22/2012 05:18:04 am
I'm what passes as a "soft butch" out in the hetero world, so much that I can appear be completely "straight" if you don't know me. I told my work gf's last night that I would like to look more butch (to me), if I felt I could at work, but I like my middle school teaching job and don't need parents calling about me. I dated neutral and femme women, until I realized that I am hugely attracted to butch or androgenous women. My DW is a retired Army CWO, and is definitely on the butch side. Sometimes we get some stares and comments from both gays and straights. We met on Match. Her pic was awesome! The Army is a subculture within our culture, I have found. Old school dykes that had to hide their identity for so long with the witch hunts are very careful to appear femme or soft, marrying gay men, or keeping a low profile. But I digress. I love the butches, bois, or anything you want to call them. I love the swagger, the sheepishness, boldness, and fun. Bring 'em on!
1/22/2012 06:38:22 am
I have to say that butch on butch has always been common enough where I have lived. Butch-femme less so. I hate seeing the comments that say ewww or unnatural. That's so unbelievably rude and unnecessary. I have mostly been in butch-femme relationships, and lately I have preferred femme-femme. While they are more common in the lesbian community, within butch-femme, they are not common at all. Butch-butch is more common. I have gotten lots of "ewwwws," especially from femme sisters.
1/22/2012 11:47:03 am
Thank you very much for this series. Great stuff. I'm I guess what you'd consider soft butch, and am attracted toward other butches. It's very difficult trying to express interest in another butch, because there is that invisible barrier of "well, what if she's into femmes..." Makes it rough. And there isn't a lot out there about predicaments like these!
1/22/2012 02:04:47 pm
I would like to know where I can meet butches...I am considered butch by my friends..and attracted to butch more then fem women....can not seem to find them tho
1/24/2012 12:17:31 pm
I am a butch and have historically dated femmes, until I met this one other butch with the same dating history...we are the head turning ball cap wearing work-booted watch the straights staring & get 'em worried butch type that scream queer when we come through the door- hard not to notice and not exactly the ZZ Top girls coming in to charm the crowd, though *I* think we are sexy as hell;) Personally I enjoy this reaction out in public- THIS is gay, folks! We laugh, play, cook, sleep and enjoy one another together like any other couple. We prefer to hang out with the guys at their bar and always get a couple cruises before they realize were not 'them'. I am more male I.D'ed than her but she loves that in me and I love her for it.
1/26/2012 03:17:01 pm
Wow!!! This is well written and on point for my life. I will certainly look for Part II. All I can say about this is that the 'Shy Factor' among us butches that are attracted to other butches, tomboys, more masculine or androgynous women has to stop. I am just starting to awaken to my potential in this regard. As soon as I ditched the 'Shy Factor' it has been ALL GOOD for me and the object of my silent attraction. We are friends and will remain so - bottom line, but we have a new level of intimacy (not yet sexual in nature, but spiritual (at least for me). I am attracted to my femme and life-long partner and she has encouraged me to be honesty with my friend for my own sake. I finally told my "gracefully masculine(feminine)" friend that I have adored her for all these years. She received it with grace, love and kindness. All that I could ever really ask for. I wish I had the courage to simply tell her just how HOT!!! I think she really is. Perhaps one day, but at least I did my best to respectfully tell her that I adored her for who she is. Thank you butchwonders.com for this awesome article.
2/8/2012 11:08:24 am
Thanks so much for writing this blog! I always felt like such an outsider here in the Bay Area for being a butch into other butches. Here it's so butch/femme I thought I would never find someone. Thankfully that was not the case, and my butch wife and I couldn't be happier!
2/12/2012 07:05:32 pm
Thank you - for the longest time I thought I was the only one! I dress butch but people who know me agree that it's just in the look - I really am quite effiminate in mannerism. I just turn other butches off because I look like a pre-pubescent boy.
4/19/2012 02:47:19 pm
6/5/2012 10:21:58 am
Thanks. I really enjoyed ready this. It helps me feel less lonely in this but yet I still can't seem to understand the hows and whys? How did this start happening to me and why? Since I came out I've always dated Femmes.. I love women who dress like women.. But ever since my last relationship with a much older woman, who wasn't exactly girly girl, I've had a huge thing for other butch. I can't see myself with one in the future as a partner, but I can't help feeling attracted to them. Im so confused! :-(
I used to belong to a Butch Group in NYC. It wasn't public. I was "invited." Funny because I never thought of myself at butch, although I dressed in a very 'tailored' manner, even for work-this was in the 80's. Anyhow, the most satisfying relationships, one found in this group were with other 'butches." I guess I had to learn myself.
7/22/2012 01:48:23 pm
I am a butch who is attracted to other butches. My problem is that I don't know where to meet other butches. Anyone know of any butch for butch sites?
After reading here last night and searching around in the internet... I realized there there basically are no butch on butch dating sites. SO - this being said, I just created a butch for butch social network for butches to meet other butches. It's a work in progress. But, hopefully it will provide a way for single butches to meet others. http://butchforbutch.ning.com/
After reading here last night and searching around in the internet... I realized there there basically are no butch on butch dating sites. SO - this being said, I just created a butch for butch social network for butches to meet other butches. It's a work in progress. But, hopefully it will provide a way for single butches to meet others.
7/23/2012 02:53:27 am
7/23/2012 02:53:39 am
Karen Kdiwell (kk)
10/21/2012 05:39:53 pm
Awww, refreshing to read this...I am butch and love butch women....i had a girlfriend for a year who was butch...she looked it but was not that way when alone....i have dated femmes in the past, but never did me any good. And I am much an agrressive dominatrix....lol
11/6/2012 10:28:57 am
All these stories and comments are refreshing to read. I don't like labels, but I do identify as butch and look the part. I have always been especially attracted to other butch women but found it near impossible to find one that thru conversation also was into other butch women. Butch women are sexy, confident, soft and strong- it's not so much the physical attributes alone that draws me to other butch women, but the whole package. While my exterior looks tough-ish, I enjoy being held and cuddled as much as being the one to cuddle. I just don't get why two butches being together is so taboo in the gay community- but then again I'm very open minded and always have been. My biggest problem is finding a place to meet other butches who would like to date other butches- takes the guesswork out of it!
12/31/2012 01:19:24 pm
Thank you for the post, it was refreshing to read. I am an African American female who really isn’t into labels but since people who to put me in a box I am soft butch and LOVE butch women. I live in DC and it is hard meet and date butch women. It is amazing how the Gay Community has a problem with two butch women or two femme women being together because it is not the norm for this time, but if you know your history this is nothing new to the Community. Love is beautiful no matter who you are with. There is no one love better then another. So for the closed minded who are you to say my love for a butch is disturbing or a waste, please grow up. Happy New Year Everyone!
1/13/2013 02:35:34 am
Love your blogs!! Thank you
6/7/2013 03:53:50 am
"Plus some butches are totally turned off by the thought of another butch. "
7/30/2013 09:43:09 pm
I am butch and very attracted to butch women but macho manly mannerisms completely turn me off. I only label myself butch because it is a way of describing what I look like. The only female clothing I wear are sports bras but it is out of preference and not ascribed to adherence of butch/femme roles. I would love to find someone who dresses like a butch but has humility, a sense of humour, and is open in the bedroom ( I also hate how sexually closed most butches are). As a result I have only ever dated femmes. I love the female body in all forms but I do fantasize of finally finding a gurl that I am completely blown away by.
12/11/2013 10:55:19 pm
My fwiw. My physical appearance is that of a short, fat, Caucasian butch boi. I have large breasts, small hands, short spiked hair, tattoos. Cute, not pretty.
8/25/2014 09:13:25 am
I amm a biracial Soft stud.. who has a weakness for caucasion Butches.. imm very open being S4S. I preference is caucasion butches.which is so hard to find
10/14/2014 06:02:26 am
Thank you for posing this! It really helps. I truly thought I was the only butch who fancied butch/boi/andro women.
10/22/2014 08:56:37 pm
11/6/2014 04:43:14 pm
I'm an asian butch I guess if one would put a label on me and this is a foreign concept... However, this is a very interesting read. I'm not one to label if I like someone then that's that. I think this blog is even a good conversation starter. Maybe anyone single and looking can put their FB info to be added here if you are on private then you can just choose to decline the friend request or pm each other until both are comfortable adding each other. It might help that you aleady have something to talk about.
11/12/2014 12:27:47 am
Such a helpful post. I'm a soft butch only attracted to other soft butches. Femmes hit on me all the time, follow me around stores, down sidewalks, but they hold no attraction for me. I'm happy, and relieved, to learn I'm not the only butch who isn't into femmes.
2/11/2015 08:16:15 pm
I personally loved this article for multiple reasons. There was so many points in this that i could relate to. I can find femmes pretty, but cute butch girls get my heart racing. Just kinda sucks when (as the writer put it) the devastatingly cute butches are only looking for femmes. I also very easily understand the frustration of finding other butches to date that're into other butches. I lucked out on finding my girl though and i wouldnt trade her for the world. Love her to pieces no matter how she looks :) everybody is different, you just gotta find that one girl who meshes well with your own weirdness lol
9/20/2015 08:47:25 am
I am an anime nerd, butch who loves butches too!!! We should totally be friends!!!
2/8/2016 09:38:21 am
Seriously, i think its so funny us butch type can be shy as hell :p it sucks !
8/8/2015 08:11:32 pm
Amazing to find this blog. I am in Europe, not that much in gay community but certainly don't find butch to butch disturbing or anything. In fact, it is a turn on for me. Interestingly, I am probably what is considered femme from appearance but I have lots of masculine energy. I am still looking how to embrace my butch size and would love to date a butch.
9/20/2015 08:45:31 am
I am a soft butch.. look butch, but still femme. I dated a femme, and it was awful... she was too girly for me. I didnt date butches because I was under the assumption that it didnt happen. But, I am seriously attracted to butch and masculine women. I am now trying my and in this, and when I do talk with someone who is interested in me.. i get the butterflies. I just have to remember to be myself, a butch tomboy. Not try to look femme just to win over a cute butch. Im glad, that there are other people out there, that have butch-butch relationships.
12/14/2015 02:29:47 am
I am androgynous and I'm only attracted to butch women. I have the problem of attracting femmes but dating them never ends well. I went through a phase where I became more feminine because I wanted to attract a butch. Now I struggle with either being too masculine to attract a butch or too feminine for my own comfort level.
2/8/2016 09:34:09 am
Seriously, i wish there was a dating site for us butchy ones to find others. Does anyone know of any? Im butchy myself, i dress in masculine clothes and have short hair and the mannerism, but im also pretty gentle and affectionate as hell. Iv'e always been attracted to them way more then femms.
5/24/2017 10:07:04 am
4/20/2016 10:41:08 am
I'm a tomboy, never dated a femme. .... I just love that butch to butch kind o' love
5/24/2017 10:06:07 am
I am a butch, and did the femme dating thing. She was beautiful, but there was something that I could not get close to. We were even engaged, but there was something just missing. I was put in that category of the "man" of the relationship.. And the fact, she was a complete "basic bitch" in every sense of the word. I just didn't have the patience for her "femmeness", if that makes sense! LOL I would have to pay, make arrangements, over and over.. when I wanted to be pampered once in a while (sex as well). When we broke up, I then started over... I wanted to date butch, so I ended up femmeing up... well, that didn't work either. Because I wasn't being true to myself. My new girlfriend is on the masculine side, but I would not consider her a butch inside. I admit, it felt weird so again, I femmed up a little.. but I didn't feel comfortable. She actually accepts me, for me. I can dress femme, butch, or anything in between. We both give and take, we are both the "women" in the relationship... and, I have never been so happy in my life!!!
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply.