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A Field Guide to Butches (Part I)

3/5/2012

59 Comments

 
If you're like me, you adore butches.  Maybe as buddies, maybe as lovers, or maybe as the friends best-equipped to help you on moving day.  But you may be unaware of the sheer breadth of butch sub-species.  For this reason, I've created a Field Guide to Butches to help you identify some of the butches around you.  Remember, butches can be found everywhere, maybe even in your very own neighborhood! 
Picture
via Campfire Collective
_The Geeky/Intellectual Butch
Example: DeAnne Smith
Pros: Smart as hell; acerbic wit; may make a good living if she ever gets out of graduate school.
Cons: May insist on lecturing you about the literary implications of her favorite author's latest work; may be unable to cook or to fix anything. 
Looks especially good: Sprawled on your couch in her reading glasses.
Care instructions: Requires only basic maintenance.  Feeding should include a steady diet of used books from independent bookstores.  Keep away from popular fiction--John Grisham, etc.  May be vegetarian, so exercise caution before feeding beef, pork, chicken, or other meats.  Looks dashing in plaid and corduroy.  Try to get her some exercise, though she may be reluctant.

Picture
via ESPN
The Sporty Butch
Example: Natasha Kai
Pros:  In incredibly good shape; easy-going and laid back (except when it comes to her own training); knows how to have fun.
Cons: May spend more time with teammates than with you.
Looks especially good: In motion.
Care instructions: Limit her time in the gym to a max of 2-3 hours daily.  Twice weekly, rub her sore muscles with Icy Hot.  Like the Geeky Butch, the Sporty Butch is relatively low-maintenance.  Make sure she gets enough protein.  Also, she is more likely than other varieties of butches to wear her hair long, usually in a ponytail.

Picture
via the Fab Femme
The Hipster Butch
Example: Sam McGinn
Pros: Wonderful city guide, knows the best bars and music venues; possibly a good cook.
Cons: May expend a ridiculous amount of effort trying to make things look effortless; may suddenly abandon music and fashion tastes if she believes her favorites have become too popular.
Looks especially good: sipping a macchiato in SF's Mission District (west coast subspecies, pictured left) or in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (east coast subspecies, not pictured).
Care instructions: Replace chain wallet every 1-2 years.  Requires $60-$80 haircut once per month.  Alcohol and caffeine consumption require balance, so be vigilant, yet liberal with both.  Not to be confused with Bieber Butch (see below).

Picture
via Back Seat Cuddler
The Bieber Butch
Example: Dani Campbell
Pros: Never stops smiling.
Cons: Never stops smiling.
Looks especially good: At parties; on the beach; in photos.
Care instructions: Often recognizable from her front or side-swept bangs, this butch looks great in everything from skinny ties to polo shirts.  Will eat you out of house and home but never gain weight.  Fragile ego, so proceed with caution.  May not mix well with Geeky Butches, who may find Bieber Butches "tiresome."  Do not take her to venues frequented by school field trips, or she may be swept onto the bus by a well-intentioned chaperone.

Picture
via The Tyee
The Artisan Butch
Example: Alison Bechdel
Pros: Sensitive, intelligent, multitalented; may cook, garden, fix things, etc.
Cons: May resist dressing up; cash flow likely questionable.
Looks especially good: Splattered with paint.
Care instructions: Plays well with Geeky Butch.  Probably vegan, so keep away from cheese, leather, and other animal products.  Natural environs include Northampton and other small cities with liberal arts universities in them.  Don't let the Artisan Butch fool you with her sensitivity; she can be fierce, too.  If you'd like to see this side of her, start talking politics.

There you have it, friends--Part I of the Field Guide to Butches.  What other kinds of butches are out there that should be catalogued?  Classic Soft Butch?  Badass Butch?  Handy Butch?  Dandy Butch?  Stay tuned for Part II!
59 Comments
Alison
3/5/2012 08:23:53 am

I'm definitely a geeky butch! (but also quite athletic) In fact, I wear corduroy and plaid almost every work day! You nailed it.

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Kat
3/5/2012 08:46:54 am

I don't know where I fit!! I'm a little bit of all of these options! Maybe the "All Around" butch?? lol Good read!!

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Petey
3/5/2012 09:04:29 am

To add one of my favorites, The Redneck Butch.

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Butch Wonders link
3/5/2012 01:29:37 pm

Do tell...

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Jessi
3/5/2012 11:16:34 pm

Yep, that's definitely a viable subcategory!

Robyn
3/5/2012 09:12:02 am

I'm a sucker for the artisan butch myself..

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Audrey
3/5/2012 09:18:57 am

Is there a laid back, likes to dress up, in the Army, patriotic, butch catagory coming up in the next one? I know I dont fall into any of the above catagories of butch.

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Sue
3/5/2012 10:43:51 am

I'm in love with this butch. Did you see the Navy women kissing off the ship at Norfolk and then the Marines returning home. I know they're gay men, but is was cool. The women were just plain HOT!

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allie c
5/6/2012 05:57:43 pm

you not the only one mose of my clothes r army stuff i mostly shop in the army navry shop so there must be a catagory some were in life

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amc
3/5/2012 09:26:53 am

I'm a Geeky/Intellectual butch who likes to cook and exercise. (The jury's still out on fixing things.) Can you make up a Julie Goldman category? She and Rachel Maddow are my favorite butches of all time. Oh, and Ellen. So many good ones!

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Butch Wonders link
3/5/2012 01:26:16 pm

Oo, what kind of butch would Julie Goldman be? I'm going to have to think about that one. Teddy Bear Butch? LA Butch? Hmm...

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amc
3/6/2012 12:22:11 am

Teddy Bear Butch? What would that be?

I was thinking Dapper Butch for Julie, because she looks damn good in a button-down/tie/vest combination and has said that she's super picky about clothes.

Maybe you could add a superlative category and give Ellen the World's Nicest Butch with the World's Sexiest Wife award, and Rachel the Best Glasses award.

Tmboy link
3/5/2012 05:46:29 pm

I agree with the Geeky/Sporty/Cooks/Fixes but DOES NOT CLEAN combo. It does sound like Rachel Maddow. She the butch I'd like to be, if she was black with Loc's :-)

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lastcrazyhorn link
3/5/2012 09:37:58 am

How about the butch chick that likes going outside and playing with kids? Sort of the older sister/brother that doesn't mind getting dirty and likes to play games and is honest and straightforward?

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Jenny
3/5/2012 12:22:05 pm

Like Alex in "Flick's Chicks"? mmmmmmmm

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Kyle link
3/6/2012 11:48:41 am

so like, Uncle/Auntie Butch?

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Catmo
3/5/2012 10:12:30 am

Hey, you forgot the "spun out dog lover, rescuer and sucker for any creature in need" BUTCH, lol, that's me!

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lori
3/5/2012 10:35:00 am

I gotta say I'm more of a bieber butch and dani campbell is a hottie!!!

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Sue
3/5/2012 10:41:35 am

Not really finding myself here, but I'm definitely butch. When I was younger, probably a sporty butch.....some of that still with the PE and the softball umpiring, but not quite there. Can't wait for The Field Guide-Part Two.
Hmmmmm....I need to ponder this awhile.

Reply
Rar
3/5/2012 10:42:19 am

Whoa I don't fit into any if those completely?! Wth does that make me? Lol I love the arts, hate to cook, not into sports (playing them or watching them), consider myself smart but not geekly intelligent. Ok there has to be a few more choices lol

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bev
3/5/2012 10:43:44 am

lastcrazyhorn love her view but we get put in to a type then we get broken down more so we have to id as a butch then we get put down into another box id just rather think Iam a tomboy like doing bits of it all love my kids , sports, bike riding hiking etc even reading and going to uni so what are we this idea saying we fit into certain boxes it is hard coming out yet to think where do i fit in Ive surported many coming out why can we just be us

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Sue
3/5/2012 10:45:47 am

This it for FUN, not a political statement! I like the tomboy butch thing, though. I think I might just fall into that catagory. Gotta wait to see what the requirements are.

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Butch Wonders link
3/5/2012 01:29:10 pm

Yep, Sue hit the nail on the head. This is just for fun, not an actual catalog of the "types" of butches that I think exist! :)

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Femme FairyGodmother link
3/5/2012 10:44:57 am

Thank GOD this is only part 1 because none of my favorite kinds of butches are on the list! :)

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butchfemme.ca
3/5/2012 10:56:36 am

you left out OFOS lol

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Butch Wonders link
3/5/2012 01:27:26 pm

What's OFOS?

Caro link
3/7/2012 12:36:35 am

OFOS: Old-fashioned, Old-school :-)

BW link
3/5/2012 12:38:19 pm

What are your favorite kinds? I want to make sure I don't leave them out!

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Catmo
3/5/2012 03:47:59 pm

Musical butch, car geek butch...

Anne
3/7/2012 06:09:11 am

in no particular order...

Handy Butch (can fix ANYTHING) and looks sexy in overalls or ripped jeans
veterinarian butch (loves animals, kind to trees, can make a first aid kit out of leaves and bits of old twine)
soft and tender butch - a big ole butch thats justa big softie underneath all that bravado
Intellectual butch - librarians, teachers - look hot in glasses and are great with sarcasm
outdoor butch - loves to hike anywhere, anytime and in any weather - can put up a tent in 3 minutes without reading the instructions and looks sexy around a camp fire
sofa butch - just looks good on a sofa lounging in jeans - great for cuddling with
Uniform butch - any butch in a uniform - phew.... and may also mix in some other of the butches above ....so maybe outdoor/uniform butch or uniform/sofa/hand butch ...mmmmm.
chef butch - can cook anything with anything and make it taste fabulous, makes an apron look sexy

thats will do for now.....

Petey link
3/7/2012 06:55:09 am

@ Anne

Bravo.

Mizz Jewelz
3/5/2012 01:41:38 pm

love it, this is too cute!

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Missy Burd
3/9/2012 10:24:01 pm

Nice comment Anne :)
Love it :D xxx

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nike f. lorentsen link
3/5/2012 02:30:40 pm

all year round butch thats me...;-)...

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DJSundrop
3/5/2012 02:54:23 pm

I fall somewhat in the Artisan Butch category except my cashflow is right on. How about a Granola or Hippie Butch?

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Butch Wonders link
3/6/2012 12:49:27 am

Oo, great idea. Granola Butch is a must!

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Jenny
3/6/2012 01:46:50 am

I'm a trans woman, and I have a girlfriend, but I don't identify as butch, or even all that much as lesbian. But I couldn't help cracking up the other day when a gay male colleague saw me munching granola in my office and joked, "Do you HAVE to be such a stereotype?"

jkbounce
3/5/2012 09:04:17 pm

I am also with crazylazyhorn and sue.....tomboy butch. I just like to have fun, I'm not looking to make a statement.

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Malamik link
3/5/2012 09:10:56 pm

Great article! What about the femme who has an inner butch? Or the butchy femme?

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K-Chop
3/6/2012 02:40:46 am

Gas station butch, dropped-out-of-grad-school butch, babysitter butch, P.E. teacher butch, Victorian-lit-prof butch, bass-playing butch, and nurse butch. Oh my gosh, there are even more kinds than there are fantasies.

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shorty
3/11/2012 04:56:48 am

haha- "dropped out of grad school butch" - i love it!

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blackmuddyriver
3/6/2012 10:13:17 am

...loving the post - "musical butch" is a must + where's the good old "activist" on-the-picket-line kind of a butch?

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blackmuddyriver
3/6/2012 10:25:45 am

...the "IT"/gamer butch - works in IT, has all the gadgets, plays COD and Skyrim?

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Mary James
3/6/2012 12:43:45 pm

Can't wait for part 2 & 3. My faves weren't on there..."stud" and "biker"

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blackmuddyriver
3/6/2012 06:25:24 pm

..."nurse butch" - now that's an intriguing combination!

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uli
3/7/2012 12:53:40 am

I love it! nurse butch - that's me!

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Morgain
3/6/2012 10:19:01 pm

I'd like to hear more about "Teddy Bear Butch", because I live under a rock, and am not familiar with that one.

A Handy Butch: I haz one. Not only can she cook and garden like nobody's business, she can also replace the radiator on your car, change your tire, and install your track lighting.
Pros: Adorable and helpful.
Cons: Rarely seen without her baseball cap.
Looks especially good: Without her baseball cap! She has super-cool hair!
Care Instructions: Low-maintenance and easy care. Just remember, if she says, "Babe, would you mind if I bought a motorcycle to tinker around with?" the answer MUST be, "Sure, babe, whatever you want." Never come between Handy Butch and her bike! ;)

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bugsy link
2/9/2015 12:33:46 am

All in the above categories , Im not fit in because as an Asian butch "stud" psychologically and by heart I believe , I trapped in a woman's body but mentally Im a man by heart.I dressed up like a manx cross dresser even my underwearx im not a stereotype butch with soft image, I love being rugged with my looks and being stylish if im in mens clothes and I love by Being ME

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Stacey
3/8/2012 01:56:24 am

How about the "ghetto" butch you know the one I'm talking about, the white chick in baggy jeans and a backwards hat who thinks she's actuallly a black male and "gangsta" To be perfectly honest I always find myself extremely attracted to them against my better judgement. That and I have a slight hat fetish haha.

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Missy Burd
3/9/2012 10:28:58 pm

I defo know a few Ghetto Butch's lol
And the same as you Stacey against my better judgement i find myself quite attracted to them too haha xx

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Missy Burd
3/9/2012 10:29:05 pm

I defo know a few Ghetto Butch's lol
And the same as you Stacey against my better judgement i find myself quite attracted to them too haha xx

Reply
Missy Burd
3/9/2012 10:29:14 pm

I defo know a few Ghetto Butch's lol
And the same as you Stacey against my better judgement i find myself quite attracted to them too haha xx

Reply
Missy Burd
3/9/2012 10:29:25 pm

I defo know a few Ghetto Butch's lol
And the same as you Stacey against my better judgement i find myself quite attracted to them too haha xx

Reply
Missy Burd
3/9/2012 10:29:33 pm

I defo know a few Ghetto Butch's lol
And the same as you Stacey against my better judgement i find myself quite attracted to them too haha xx

Reply
Stacey
4/4/2012 01:25:02 am

At least I'm not alone in this haha. It can be a pain when they're so hot and then you hear them talk. I've had that happen quite a few times. She was nice to look at but when she's calling someone "dawg" it's hard to take that seriously. Besides does anyone use "dawg": anymore? Haha. Sorry this is a bit late I just noticed you replied.

Stacey
3/8/2012 02:02:38 am

Oh how I just melt when one particular "ghetto" butch calls her guy friends homies. Haha.

Reply
nike f. lorentsen
3/8/2012 09:39:26 pm

I'm for sure the activist dyke, from old and new times, no all the letters LGBTQ....and bla,blabla.....

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alex mcferron
3/12/2012 01:32:53 am

this is so true. I'm intellectual butch totally. you nailed it

Reply
Shelly P
4/9/2012 11:36:21 am

so i guess im a The Geeky/Intellectual Butch but i do cook and im not vegetarian

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