An eight-year-old girl named Sunnie Kahle was recently informed that she was no longer welcome at a Baptist elementary school in Virginia via a letter that informed her grandparents (who are her guardians) that her gender nonconformity is out of line with God's plan.  One particularly scintillating excerpt reads, "God has made her female and her dress and behavior need to follow suit with her God-ordained identity."

Uh...

Let's leave aside, for the moment, the possibility that Sunnie is trans*.  Let's assume (as her interviews seem to suggest) that she sees herself as female.  This means the school administrators at Timberlake Christian have taken it upon themselves to decide what female "dress and behavior" look like.  Unless the exactitudes of gendered fashion are spelled out in the Bible (and I don't remember reading that--do you?), this argument is absurd even on its own terms.  God has "ordained" that this kid has to wear the kinds of clothing and play with the kind of toys that the execs at Disney and Walmart have decided is most effectively marketed toward her gender?  Got it.

As a former little girl who was occasionally mistaken for a little boy, I know first-hand that it's not always fun.  Kids have hundreds of ways, subtle and not, to single out their norm-defying peers.  Expressing gender nonconformity, especially as a kid, is hard.  Sunnie Kahle should be lauded for using her God-given guts, not bullied by her school's administration for not fitting into their idea of what girls are "supposed" to be. 

I'm glad Sunnie has loving grandparents who stand by her just the way she is.  If all kids were so lucky, I bet teen suicide rate would be a lot lower.  In one interview, Sunnie's grandmother said that if Sunnie grows up to be a member of the LGBTQ crowd, she will "love her that much more."  Unconditional love, total acceptance...  sounds awfully Biblical.  Maybe Timberlake Christian should take a page from grandma's playbook.

...Which brings us, of course, to one of the two queer subplots.  While we don't get a whiff that Claire has an, erm, softball-playing past (let alone bats for both teams), Frank does.  In Season 1, we got a hint at Frank's college reunion (when he tells an old friend, "You meant something to me," with unmistakably romantic overtones), but weren't beaten over the head with it.  Which I LOVE, because it would be waaay too easy to show Frank lusting after congressional intern boys.  We don't get the sense that Frank is hiding some big dark secret; he's simply attracted to both men and women, so in the context of his selectively-open marriage (remember Claire's icy "What does she give us?" re: Frank's liaison with Zoe in Season 1?), it makes sense that he would sleep with both men and women. 

What makes this so interesting and weirdly modern (no judgment, just my own prudishness showing) is that Claire is not only cool with Frank's predilections, but helps them along.  The morning after the couple seduces Meecham, Claire asks how Frank slept, and when he says he slept great, tells him, "Good.  You needed that."  OMG, Claire.  OMG.  Not to mention, how many threesomes have you ever heard of that involve two men and one woman rather than the other way around?  I love that this turns the typical straight male fantasy on its head.

And, of course, there's the other Big Queer Subplot, which involves Rachel Posner, the ex-sex worker with whom Frank's chief henchman, Doug, has become obsessed.  After meeting through a proselytization attempt on public transit, Lisa Williams moves in with Rachel, and soon converts her... in more ways than one.  I saw this one coming a mile away, yet I was still surprised by it--and surprise + inevitability makes for great drama. 

Sure, "House of Cards" isn't exactly brimming with homos, but it's a heck of a lot gayer than most of the other good dramas around these days.  Plus, I love that a character's being gay isn't the be-all and end-all of the character.  Rachel's relationship is a big deal because she's finally found love and Doug is devastated, and Rachel has to break with Lisa because of her (Rachel's) sex-working past--not because Rachel is--gasp--queer.  Same deal with Frank.  He's bi--maybe--but he doesn't seem to be "struggling" with this fact.  Another way "House of Cards" does queer so well is that it doesn't flinch or pull punches or leave the gay stuff to hints and allusions (like, say, "Mad Men" does, and "Downton Abbey" has done since Episode 2).  Nope, the gay kisses get screen time.  Almost like they're equal relationships or something.

I bet my DGF and I aren't the only "House of Cards" binge-watchers out there.  What did you all think?  (And what should my next addiction be?)

I love sports (almost) as much as the next dyke, but I have awfully mixed feelings about the Olympics this year.  Russia's LGBT community is under constant, hateful, and often violent siege from its government.  Gay "propaganda"--defined as anything depicting LGBTQ relationships in a positive or neutral light in a form accessible to minors--is illegal.  This includes, as you can imagine, such "propaganda" as holding hands with your partner, wearing a T-shirt with a pink triangle on it, or even just being queer parents.  Just a few weeks ago, the Russian government fined the editor of a newspaper who published an interview with a gay teacher.  An interview, people.  In a newspaper.

Gay people in Russia are regularly bullied, chased, beaten up, and subjected to all kinds of hateful acts.  In a way, maybe it's good that the Olympics are being held in Russia this year, since it will draw attention to the human rights violations that go on in Russia every day.  Principle 6 is the Olympic principle that forbids discrimination on the basis of politics, race, religion, gender, or otherwise--a principle decidedly not embraced in Russia. 

The Principle 6 campaign is designed to raise awareness of the way LGBTQ people are treated in Russia and "and underscore that Russia's anti-LGBT discrimination is incompatible with the Olympic movement."  I urge you to take the Principle 6 logo and make it your Facebook or Twitter image.  I guarantee that people will ask you about it, which will give you more chances to spread the word.

And if you're a schwag-lover like me, you'll be happy to know that American Apparel has designed a very cool "Principle 6" clothing line, and it's money well-spent, since proceeds will support LGBTQ groups in Russia. 

I hope you'll spread the word, and help LGBTQ folks in Russia imagine a better world.

I mentioned this on my Facebook page recently, and it continues to chap my proverbial hide. 

The New York Times ran this story about how one butch went to a (male) tailor and asked him to make a men's suit for her.  Last year.  Yeah, you read that right: when Tomboy Tailors, Saint Harridan, Androgyny, and other companies were already on the scene.  (I profiled some of them back in January and April.)

Worse yet, the Times's story implies that this tailor had some amaaaazing new idea.  The story begins with, "Breakthrough ideas often come from the least expected sources."  The idea that a mainstream male tailor would make some suits for butch women is not a "breakthrough;" he was merely introduced to a market that he didn't know already existed.

I don't fault the tailor--his quotes don't make it sound like he thinks he's a pioneer--but "discovery" is the thrust of the Times's story.  Here's a quote:

In a coffee shop near his home the other day, he [the tailor] seemed still struck by the world that opened to him after that initial email.  "The whole thing is really strange, and sometimes I can't — " he said, his voice evaporating into the wonder of it all.  He was not even sure how to identify Ms. Tutera [the Handsome Butch], gender-wise. Was she transgender or just mannish?  Sometimes it was hard to know such things.

In other words, Regular Person discovers Weird Queer Market.

While the story pays lip service to the fact that queer-owned companies with this mission already existed, this bit of info comes several paragraphs into the article, after the article's framework is well in place. 

I'm happy to see any butch coverage in the media (see here and here for previous posts on the subject), but the Times article was one more reminder that butch visibility--and queer equality generally--still has a long way to go.

Occasionally I get email from other aspiring queer bloggers asking for advice, and I received another one recently, so I thought I'd share some general, hard-won blogging advice.  Take it all with a boulder of salt.

BW's Tips for Bloggers

1. Assuming you want an audience, your blog should revolve around a theme, not just be a diary.  For a following, you  need an angle.  (Once you have a following, it's okay to deviate sometimes--regular readers are forgiving...  As, I hope, you all are right now...)
   
2. Let your personality shine through.  Whether it's nerdy, quirky, punny, whatever--it's genuine you, and this is the fun of it.
   
3. Keep a running list of possible topics.  Then on the weeks you're running dry, check the list and see what inspires you.
4. You don't need to know anything about coding or building websites.  Personally I use Weebly, because I like their templates and options and easy-to-view stats.  But there's also WordPress and a bunch of others.
   
5. Reach out to more experienced bloggers.  After you've got 10-12 good posts, ask if they'll put you on their blog rolls. 
   
6. Don't feel obligated to post every day.  It's nice if you can, but you don't want the blog to feel like something you have to do.
   
7. Give people an option to subscribe to your blog via email.
   
8. Do it for love, not money.  I'm positive I've spent more on BW than I've earned.  Would I like to make a living writing BW?  You bet.  Am I willing to post ads all over my page and pimp products I don't care about?  No freakin' way.
   
9. Have patience!  It can take a really long time for your audience to grow.
   
10. Some people will hate you, disagree with you, and/or think you're stupid--and won't be afraid to say so.  Pay attention to thoughtful critiques; ignore the morons.
11. Don't be defensive.  You will screw up.  When you do, admit it.
12. You're going to offend some people, even if you try not to.  This is not a nice feeling, but it's a virtually inevitable one.
13. Readers love pictures, especially if you take them yourself.
    
14. Have fun!  Be silly, be weird, be random.  If you're laughing while you're writing, your readers will laugh while reading it. 
    
15. Keep a separate email account for blog-related email.  This will keep your blog life from leaking into your work life, and vice versa.
16. Think carefully about whether to be anonymous.  It's a hard choice.  I'm still closeted for professional reasons (and deeply ambivalent about it), but plan on coming out in the next couple years.  Once you're "out," you can't go un-ring the bell.  While being up-front about your real identity will increase your credibility (and get you a bigger following, I bet!), it may limit what you feel comfortable writing about. 
    
17. Social media is your friend!  Lots of people have stumbled across BW randomly through Twitter and Facebook.
    
18. Don't write about friends/family who read your blog, unless they've told you it's okay, or you specifically let them know ahead of time.  Some will get pissed off; it's hard to predict who.  Also: use pseudonyms.
    
19. Interact with your readers!  Most of them will be awesome, and eventually you'll probably get more emails than you can handle, but if you see blogging more as a conversation than a mouthpiece, readers will be engaged (and they'll share smart, interesting ideas that will teach you cool things and inspire you to write more!).
20. You're allowed to vary: sometimes you may be funny, sometimes reflective, sometimes informative.  Don't feel like you have to keep up some kind of consistent "persona."
    
21. Don't get too obsessed with your numbers, and certainly don't write in response to them (e.g., "People like posts about fashion so I'd better write about nothing but fashion").
22. Don't apologize if you go a while without blogging.  (Yeah, I broke my own rule recently.  Sue me.)  Just roll with it.
23. Focus on creating good, interesting content.  Rachel Maddow said recently that there are too many great content-container creators and not enough great content creators.  Be one of the great ones, and strive to get better.  I'm talking about technical stuff (for grammar tips, there's no better source than Strunk and White) and non-technical stuff.  Think of the bloggers you admire most.  Why do you like their posts?  Strive to embody the qualities you admire.
24. Good writing takes way more time than you think it will.
    
25. Understand that you have something to say.  If you're thinking about blogging, it's because you want to tell something to the masses.  Don't second-guess yourself.  Everyone's an expert on his or her own corner of the world.  A blog is an awesome way to share your point of view!
    

I'm sure other bloggers feel differently about lots of this stuff, and I hope they'll weigh in with other thoughts they have.

What about you, dear readers?  What are your favorite qualities in a blog?