Come Out, Come Out, Whoever You Are!

'Tis a homosexual pastry!

Coming Out Day is awesome for many reasons:

1. It reiterates the importance of visibility.
2. It is an excellent excuse for making and/or consuming rainbow cake.
3. It reminds straight people that their queer friends had to go through a (sometimes excruciating) process of explaining/announcing their sexual and romantic preferences.  It also reminds queers that the coming out process, different as it is for each of us, ties us all together.
4. Right before the election, it underscores the civil rights issues at stake.
5. It is an occasion for poetry, tweets, and general tomfoolery.

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Recently, I challenged BW readers to encapsulate their coming out stories in one of three forms: (1) as a tweet; (2) as a haiku; (3) as a limerick.  A bunch of you were up to it, and in honor of Coming Out Day, here are some of my favorites:

TWEETS

My sister was 59 when she came out.  She beat me to it.  I came out at 50.

Mom: What's wrong?  Me: Nothing.  Mom: You're in love, aren't you?! With that girl from South Carolina!  Me: Yes.  Mom: I knew you were gay!

I didn't just come out of the closet, I jumped out of the whole effin' house!


HAIKU

Everyone was great
Forgot I hadn't told dad
Shocked him in the car!

Cue apocalypse!
Coming out to my mother.
False alarm, she's cool.

Collegiate romance.
We thought we were so sneaky,
but everyone knows.

Came out three times now
gayboy, transwoman... tomboy
enough, already!

A snoop I call mom,
Danced around the Internet--
Then learned he is she.

Finally barking
up the right tree of lovin'.
In fact, now I purr.


LIMERICKS (OK, some of these aren't *technically* limericks, but whatevs)

The time to come out was past due.
So I sent the IM to you...
When I looked at my gaff,
We both had a good laugh --
'Stead of "bi," the message said "bu."

We were standing there cooking breakfast,
Nothing on but a smile and some skin
Then OMG, my mom came walking in
No place to run
No place to hide
had to stand there proudly, showing my rainbow pride.

It's enough to demolish the brain
How the Transmatriarchy inane
Demand Bette and Tina
Be the trans girl's Athena...
When I only long to be Shane

There once was a girl who was always laughing
To cover the thoughts she was always having
She couldn't make herself aware
Even though her dad was a gay bear
And being family wasn't nothing but a family thing

For 32 years it was men that I liked
Stubble and bicepts and d*ck got me psyched
Then along came a girl
put my head in a whirl
And I thought, "holy sh*t, I've been dyked!"

i've always been a big butch dyke
but when i came out my mom said TAKE A HIKE
i was homeless for awhile
but all i do now is smile
because i have four kids and a beautiful wife!

Thanks to all of you awesome readers who submitted these great tweets and poems!  (And special congrats to the author of the limerick that begins, "For 32 years it was men that I liked"--you win first place and the cool Gadget Wallet from Uncommon Goods!)  Happy Coming Out Day, everyone!

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