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Do Some People...

11/18/2012

3 Comments

 
Sometimes I get questions from readers in which the reader is essentially asking me if he or she is some kind of weird outlier.  For example:
  • Do some gay men find trans men attractive?
  • Do some femmes date other femmes?
  • Are some people mostly attracted to older lesbians?
  • Are some FTMs into bi cis guys?

Due to the sheer, huge, incredible range of human interests and preference, whenever you're asking if some people X, or whether some people of type Y find people of type Z attractive, the answer is always the same: yes.

In fact, we could make a mad lib of it:
Do some [type of person, plural] find [adjective] [gender or sexual orientation] attractive?

Yes, yes, yes.  Some butches are only into other butches (BW raises hand).  Some non-binary trans people only want to date femmes who wear leather.  Some guys who identify as gay are attracted to masculine cis women. 

Whatever your preference, identity, interest, or sexual proclivity, I feel safe saying: you are not alone.  Just because you haven't met anyone in your town who's like you doesn't mean that there aren't tons of them in the wider world.  Heck, it doesn't even mean there isn't anyone in your town like you.  Many people are scared to be out and proud about their preferences because they're afraid other people will laugh at them, or tell them they're weird.

Well, I'm here to tell you that there's nothing "weird" about knowing what you like.  There's nothing odd about having preferences that seem different from other people's (assuming those preferences are legal and don't hurt anyone, of course).  And there's nothing wrong or strange about having your attractions change over time. 

After all, you didn't come out as queer to be like everyone else, did you?  Why the heck would you want to start now?

3 Comments
Carley link
11/18/2012 07:10:58 am

This is so true! I would also state that just because you're attracted to 'x' type now, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's always going to be the case. I'm a femme lesbian, and I always used to say that I was only attracted to 'girls like me'. Then I met my girlfriend, who isn't femme but isn't butch, and I suddenly realised that I had no control over who I was physically (or emotionally) attracted to. We will have been together for three years next week - and whilst I still look at some femme lesbians and think 'wow' - I'm now aware that sometimes that lightening bolt from the blue completely floors you.

Carley

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Stacy
11/18/2012 08:56:41 am

You rock, sister! You said it beautifully.
It's so simple, but society makes it so hard.
You continue to have my utmost respect (not only because you make me look better in a tie.)
Thank you. Keep up the good work.

Stacy


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maddox link
11/19/2012 07:53:19 am

Brilliant! I actually just answered a very similar FAQ along the lines of "How do I know if I am [insert identity]?"
http://neutrois.tumblr.com/post/36008927154/how-do-i-know-if

(and oddly we answered it in the same way, go figure).

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