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Five Random but Useful Lists!

7/16/2011

14 Comments

 
Five Incredibly Basic Butch Fashion Guidelines
  1. Do not tuck in your T-shirt.
  2. Do not wear socks with your sandals.
  3. Always wear a belt with pants that have belt loops.  If your belt is brown, your shoes should also be brown.  Black shoes, black belt. 
  4. Do not get a flat top or a mullet, even if you're an old-school butch.
  5. No pleated pants.  Really. 
(You can find a few more great basic tips here.)

Five Great Gifts For the Butch in Your Life
1. Tickets to see a favorite play, musician, or sports team
2. A couples massage.
3. A personalized tie
4. Cuff links (I especially like the typewriter key ones)
5. Boxers, especially sexy ones (but only if you're sleeping with her, OR plan to, OR it's a wedding/bachelorette/honeymoon gift for her and her partner)
(The Sartorial Butch had some great ideas in this post.)

Five Ways to Make a Regular Evening Romantic (hint: none of this should involve televisions, cell phones, computers, iPads, etc.  Digital screens are a romance-killer--well, MOST of the time...)
  1. Buy your girl's favorite kind of ice cream or dessert and surprise her with it while you put on her favorite music.
  2. Turn off the TV and announce, "It's sexy time!"  (Especially if you're not the one who usually initiates sex.)
  3. Take turns reading chapters of a book, or magazine articles, to each other (ideally the listener gives a foot massage to the reader at the same time).
  4. Bake cookies together, then stay up late and eat them with milk.   
  5. Do something creative together, or something that requires problem-solving.  Drawing, painting, putting together a puzzle, playing with clay (think of that scene from "Ghost"--possibilities abound!)

Five Awesome Butchy Comedians You Should Know About
  1. Tig Notaro
  2. Deanne Smith
  3. Julie Goldman
  4. Kelli Dunham
  5. Sabrina Matthews

Five Best Responses to Being Told You're in the Wrong Bathroom
  1. Say to the person: "No way--YOU'RE really a man?  Geez, you totally pass."
  2. Say, "Sorry, but the men's room was full.  Hey, mind if I use this sink as a urinal?"
  3. Lift up your shirt to show your bra (my DGF has actually done this).
  4. If the person does that annoying exaggerated look at the door to make sure she's in the women's room, just say, "Yeah, you're in the right place.  And so am I."  (My friend C has done this.)
  5. Ignore the person while doing a little dance and singing, "Man, I feel like a woman."

14 Comments
cris
7/16/2011 02:10:44 pm

ok i agree with the t-shirt not being tucked as long as it is not worn under another shirt and if it is under another shirt, tuck it in.
i also agree no mullet.
and absolutely no pleated pants esp if you have any type of extra weight. i mean jeez don't you guys watch what not to wear!!!!???
as far as the bathroom i just say "sorry there was a line as always"

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Kyle link
7/16/2011 03:26:58 pm

Well, regardless the rules, I tuck my t-shirts as long as I'm wearing a belt... no belt, no tuck. Unless I'm feeling casual, then I don't tuck.

The romantic evening suggestions are awesome.

In the 5 responses, I love #4. As for #3, a friend of mine does a variation, she grabs her boobs and brandishes them at the other person.

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Joslyn
7/16/2011 04:24:57 pm

Ahahaha...I like how, about two hours before I read this article, I ordered my girlf a personalized tie for her birthday....

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joey brite link
7/17/2011 05:15:43 am

While I half-agree with your statement, "Do not get a flat top or a mullet, even if you're an old-school butch", there are several butch dykes tht pull off the flat top really well. The most well known of them being Phranc. I had the pleasure of playing music with her way back in the 70's in L.A. and she sported that 'do' when no one else was, and she STILL rocks it today.
On the other hand, NO ONE I KNOW has ever worn a mullet well. Never. No. Very odd it ever came around. Well, then again, it's a cultural thing....maybe someone out there in the southwest rocks a good one??? (Here's a documentary on the subject made by a female!)
http://www.snagfilms.com/films/title/american_mullet/

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Cheree link
7/18/2011 06:35:41 am

I'm sorry, I'm going to have to disagree with you on a couple of points:

1. You should definitely tuck in a T-Shirt when it's serving as the base layer with an unbuttoned shirt over it. My personal preference is that, if you're wearing a belt (see #3), you should always wear a tucked in shirt. Then again, I probably wouldn't advocate wearing a belt with a T-Shirt to begin with. Moving on.

2. A buzzcut on the right butch (most commonly an old school butch, but not always) can stop a heart. Really.

3. Your first bathroom suggestion might be offensive to trans people. Just a thought.

PS: I had a friend with whom merciless mullet jokes were traded. We hoped one day to smuggle a set of clippers into the local dyke club to "assist" some fashion offenders.

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Butch Wonders link
7/18/2011 11:14:29 am

Thanks for the thoughts!

@ Cheree:

(1) Good clarification. I think that shen a T-shirt's just the base layer, a tuck-in is optional. Depends on the length of the unbuttoned shirt over it, to me.

(2) A buzz, maybe, but a flat top? Hm. Maybe I just haven't seen the right one yet. Ooo, just had a mental image of a uniformed butch in a flat top. Okay, maybe then. But I'm still not sure if I'd actually LIKE that haircut, or if she'd just be hot in SPITE of it.

(3) Oh my gosh. That completely didn't occur to me. I didn't mean for it to be offensive to trans folks at *all*--simply to highlight to the unofficial bathroom police that gender is something highly subjective, and to demonstrate how it feels when incorrect gender judgments are made about one's self.

@ Joey: Okay, I just googled Phranc, and I stand corrected. Although I still say that Phranc would look even hotter with a different cut. But Phranc does look pretty good in a flat top, I've got to admit!

@ Kyle and Cris: Thanks; you guys are awesome, too. :)

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Butch Wonders link
7/18/2011 11:21:59 am

@ Joslyn: Oops, I forgot you! You're awesome, too! BTW, where did you get the personalized tie?

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jax
7/18/2011 03:20:07 pm

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Jax link
7/18/2011 03:26:50 pm

Apparently accidentally hitting enter posts. Whoops!

So my thoughts...
Most of the fashion ones are straight forward. I just don't care about belts. It's too much trouble and I don't care all that much about fashion. I don't have time to worry about it.
I've never been a fan of flat tops for anyone. Even in the Marine Corps, where haircuts were to be clean and tight, flattops make guys look stupid. Once I had the choice about haircuts I went with a high and tight, but never a flattop. It's way too much work even if it looked good. My life is all about simplicity.

And I can't stand boxers. Don't buy someone boxers unless you know they like them. I find them uncomfortable.

Also don't get ties. Too much work. lol My life is far too busy to mess around with things. I'm also a pretty casual person and prefer to stick to business casual. I may change my mind in the future if the situation changes and I need to dress up.

Overall, make sure you actually pay attention to the butch in your life to make sure these suggestions apply. Many butches are already subject to a huge list of stereotypes. If you're unsure, ask or go with something you know they will like. (Hopefully that goes without saying)

Interesting list! Things to think about. :-)

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Edison link
7/20/2011 03:18:35 pm

I'm a few days behind the power curve on my posting but hey... check out Etsy for all manner of cufflinks. I have scored some serious deals on vintage cufflinks (2.50 US+2.00 shipping!!) with the added awesome knowledge that the money is going to an actual person rather than a corporation.

Also, to add to the list (though it may just be me) belt buckles!! I have a serious problem- I can't stop buying them. I bought both a black and a brown leather belt on Etsy for 20 bucks each that I can change the buckles out on. Vintage buckles on Etsy run anywhere from 5 bucks up and shipping tends to be 3.50US-5.00. I have snagged some amazing one of a kind pieces that I love, I've given money to a human being, I am able to make a statement with a relatively low cost and I really like that my buckles have stories and lives before they came to me.

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Butch Wonders link
7/21/2011 01:29:16 am

Great tip re: Etsy, Edison! Yes, although I don't have a belt buckle habit myself (yet), I've been coveting a few (e.g., these: http://retimade.myshopify.com/collections/belts). I'd love to see pics of a few of your favorites...

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Edison link
7/21/2011 03:56:22 am

This one is my favorite for wearing with jeans and the like (http://ny-image0.etsy.com/il_570xN.223239716.jpg) and I really like how well loved it obviously was. Every time I wear it I get at least one comment on it.

I like this one a lot as well- along with a lot of his other buckles. (http://www.etsy.com/listing/72547976/slag-buckle-take-your-buckle-wearing-to)

Brown Dog Welding has a few nice ones as well this one being my favorite (http://www.etsy.com/listing/49651551/x-marks-the-spot-tig-welded-stainless)

Those buckles are nice! I really like the last two. In my Etsy browsing I've come across several in that style (it's called fused glass, which I didn't know.)

I'm currently lusting after the cufflinks this guy makes- especially the ones called Denver... (http://www.etsy.com/shop/willbarch?ref=seller_info)

I know I sound like an advert for Etsy, I'm not affiliated in any way! I'm just a fan of helping the small businesses run there and of getting something unique. :)

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Butch Wonders link
7/24/2011 03:16:29 pm

Great finds, Edison!!

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Rachel
8/5/2011 07:08:32 pm

slow on the uptake- regarding the bathroom guy ones. I was heading to the woman's bathroom and a 80s year old woman says- "this is the woman's bathrom". I said, "Ya I know- I have boobs just like you". She got so embarassed. I thought it was funny as hell.

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