Five Random but Useful Lists!

Five Incredibly Basic Butch Fashion Guidelines

1. Do not tuck in your T-shirt.
2. Do not wear socks with your sandals.
3. Always wear a belt with pants that have belt loops.  If your belt is brown, your shoes should also be brown.  Black shoes, black belt. 
4. Do not get a flat top or a mullet, even if you're an old-school butch.
5. No pleated pants.  Really. 

(You can find a few more great basic tips here.)

Five Great Gifts For the Butch in Your Life
1. Tickets to see a favorite play, musician, or sports team
2. A couples massage.
3. A personalized tie
4. Cuff links (I especially like the typewriter key ones)
5. Boxers, especially sexy ones (but only if you're sleeping with her, OR plan to, OR it's a wedding/bachelorette/honeymoon gift for her and her partner)
(The Sartorial Butch had some great ideas in this post.)

Five Ways to Make a Regular Evening Romantic (hint: none of this should involve televisions, cell phones, computers, iPads, etc.  Digital screens are a romance-killer--well, MOST of the time...)

1. Buy your girl's favorite kind of ice cream or dessert and surprise her with it while you put on her favorite music.
2. Turn off the TV and announce, "It's sexy time!"  (Especially if you're not the one who usually initiates sex.)
3. Take turns reading chapters of a book, or magazine articles, to each other (ideally the listener gives a foot massage to the reader at the same time).
4. Bake cookies together, then stay up late and eat them with milk.   
5. Do something creative together, or something that requires problem-solving.  Drawing, painting, putting together a puzzle, playing with clay (think of that scene from "Ghost"--possibilities abound!)
   

Five Awesome Butchy Comedians You Should Know About

1. Tig Notaro
2. Deanne Smith
3. Julie Goldman
   
4. Kelli Dunham
5. Sabrina Matthews

Five Best Responses to Being Told You're in the Wrong Bathroom

1. Say to the person: "No way--YOU'RE really a man?  Geez, you totally pass."
2. Say, "Sorry, but the men's room was full.  Hey, mind if I use this sink as a urinal?"
3. Lift up your shirt to show your bra (my DGF has actually done this).
4. If the person does that annoying exaggerated look at the door to make sure she's in the women's room, just say, "Yeah, you're in the right place.  And so am I."  (My friend C has done this.)
5. Ignore the person while doing a little dance and singing, "Man, I feel like a woman."