Whether we're 15 or 50, it's hard to shake the need for our parents' acceptance. For the non-gender-conforming among us, that can be a long (and sometimes hopeless) road.
When I first started to come out--what, five years ago or so?--it was not easy. Here are a few highlights:
I don't mean to give the impression that we agree on everything now, or that I never feel like a weird outlier, or that everything's hunky-dory all the time. But I feel pretty dang accepted, and five years ago, I would have never guessed that my relationship with my family would be this good.
Our progress, I think, is attributable to: (1) unconditional love; (2) a willingness to talk about things that bother us (even if "talking" means arguing); and most of all, (3) a sense of humor. I'm incredibly grateful for the steps my family members (particularly my parents) have taken to understand me, and I hope that in turn, I've tried to "get" them.
What signs of acceptance have you received from your family that you wouldn't have thought possible two or five or ten or twenty years ago?
12/7/2011 03:04:56 am
I came out late about 7yrs ago, some of my family accepted me yet one of my brother does the hate crap and another , crack all the gay joke after a time they get hurt full so you walk away from those family members , but also for other reason My family fallen apart, my g/f had to pull teeth so to speak to talk to my mum ask her question, sadly by the time i was dating my next their was no family for me to say hey guess what, but thank you for your post and makes me happy that the family I do have in my life accept me for me other wise I have to say goodbye it is hard but we all need people in our life who love us for us !!
12/7/2011 03:48:06 am
When I came out to my mother, she was warm and supportive (and not surprised), but said "we don't need to tell Dad, ok?"
12/7/2011 02:48:04 pm
When I was 19, a 40 year old woman phoned my mother and outed me, after I made it clear that I had no romantic feelings toward her.
12/8/2011 07:53:16 am
Beautiful as always. I too get the "do you have to look like one?" STILL 13 yrs later. I think though...it's starting to sink in, maybe....
My gf has been out for more than 15 years. Her mother still doesn't accept the fact that she is now, always has been, and always will be, a lesbian. She also gets the "do you have to look like one? Why do you have to wear the uniform?"
12/12/2011 04:18:42 am
That is awesome. I came out at 30 (last year) and me and my dad never talked about it. He seemed okay...then not okay...eventually I knew he was accepting is when out of the blue he asked if I had called the lady my aunt suggested to give the ceremony for the weeding.
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