Guest Post #6: A Cis Guy Writing About Butches

7/12/2012

This guest post is from J.N. Gallagher, a Butch Wonders reader who talks about his experiences and internal struggles writing butch erotica. I hope you find this as interesting and thought-provoking as I did. --BW

When the call went out for guest posts to Butch Wonders, I was pleased to see that submissions from all genders and orientations would be considered. Whether my work is welcome is something I’ve struggled with… While I write fiction in a lot of different genres on a lot of different subjects, when I write erotica, I typically write about A) lesbians who are B) butch and C) have sex. I am also a heterosexual cis man.

Every editor I’ve corresponded with about my gender has insisted that the only thing that matters is the quality of the work. If they inquired further about my life situation, they’d find out that I was born male, identify as straight, and am married to a fabulous feminine woman. The other detail I don’t explain is that butch women get me all hot and bothered, always have and always will, and that’s why I enjoy writing about them so much.

(I guess the cat’s out of the bag on those details now.)

All of this, sadly, is part of a web of inner conflict that has challenged me since puberty. I’m heterosexual in that I am only attracted to women, but female masculinity makes my knees weak. It doesn't feel like being attracted to masculine and feminine women would make me bisexual, though "queer" doesn't seem like quite the right word, either—it encompasses too much, while "straight" doesn't cover enough.

I've longed to be around lesbians, but I don’t want to force myself into a community that isn’t looking to have me. I want to write about this delicious type of woman that excites me, but I don’t know if I have the right to do so.

I don’t believe an author needs to be a working rancher to write a great western novel, or a Jedi Knight to write stories set in the Star Wars universe. Familiarity and direct knowledge are always beneficial, but these qualities don’t sit down and write a book by themselves.

Still, the bottom line is that I’m writing about experiences outside of my own, and I feel a connection to the material that is difficult for many people to understand. After decades of reflection, I still don’t understand it myself. And, no matter how universal the themes of my fiction might be, I’m dipping my toes into unfamiliar (and potentially unwelcome) waters. Some people might yell, "Come in! The water’s great!" Others might say, "Get lost, creep," and I couldn’t really blame them. Our identities are incredibly personal to who we are.

My question to the readers of Butch Wonders is: Do you care about who an author is when reading fiction about butches? Does quality trump all, or would you like a piece less if you found out it was written by a heterosexual-identified, non-trans male?

If you’re wondering what my work is like, I had a story, "Officer Birch," published in Lesbian Cops: Erotic Investigations. This anthology was nominated for a Lambda Literary Award, a fact I’m very proud of. The story is not about two butches, but it’s not really a butch/femme story, either. I guess it’s just a story about a couple of characters who discover things about love, sex, and each other. These are the themes I enjoy writing about the most. Erotic fiction about butches might be the smallest part of my writing output in terms of quantity, but it's definitely the most personal to me.

32 Comments

Katherine Mancuso

7/12/2012 06:50:06 am

So, I'm actually not a butch woman. But here is one thing I think you should think about.

Butch women who are attracted to other butch women experience discrimination because of their gender presentation; both the discrimination all gay people experience and discrimination based on their gender presentation. You do not experience this discrimination.

Are you, as an author, making a name for yourself, or financially profiting by your writing? How can you use those privileges to help butch women experience less discrimination? Can you have a blog for straight men that talks about what straight men can do to help support equal rights for butch women? Can you donate money you are paid for this work to a charity that works towards equal rights for butch women?

Stacy

7/12/2012 07:01:01 am

I think he may very well understand us better than most, Katherine. I think it's very possible he understands that discrimination at least somewhat. Imagine him telling other men that he was attracted to butch lesbians. That probably wouldn't go over too well with alot of other guys. Just like being bi-sexual, it's much easier for him to hide it if he wants, and he is already married to a feminine woman so he fits that standard "norm" society has laid out, but inside, he has this "different" thing he lives with, which would not be easy to lay out in front of everyone. He may very well understand us more than some, although without a butch woman on his arm he may not completely understand it like those who live it. But as someone who was in the closet for decades, sometimes living with keeping that fear a secret is worse than living it out loud.

Katherine

7/12/2012 07:36:11 am

I didn't say that he didn't understand that discrimination.
I said that he didn't experience the same discrimination as butch women do. I didn't say that he didn't experience any discrimination at all.

Who cares?

7/12/2012 08:51:32 am

I am a butch woman and don't think he has some responsibility to use his money to fight discrimination or any such thing. He has the same responsibility as everyone else in this world: to try to be a decent person. If he writes something that earns him money, he is the one who has done the work, and it is his money. He does not owe it to anybody.

I don't care if a straight male writes butch fiction. First off, it is fiction. It is a story he made up. It's not like he's lying or fronting. Making things up in order to understand them or connect with them is a human trait. Secondly, is it a good read?

It's good to see a male investigating his own desires. I work in a male-dominated field, and it is sad to see the prisons men build for themselves (only allowing certain very narrow types of expressions, etc). Some of them become so unha

7/12/2012 08:54:02 am

Appy with this, and they take it out on other people.

All we have to judge by is what this guy wrote, and I don't see anything ad about his comments or what he is doing. If it was good writing, I would read it.

Ang link

7/12/2012 11:55:36 am

You said it perfectly here. I don't believe he has any obligation to financially contribute to anyone. That would be like saying that because I do a blog or a vlog about something that is not directly part of my own life that I would be assumed to be supporting that cause financially or physically in some way...nope, sorry we are all struggling, and we can choose to write about whatever we wish in my opinion. I would read your stuff guy. I have not qualms with your gender or your sexuality, I seldom check those things when I pick up a book that interests me. Sure, I have bought books by Butches written more for Butches but that's just because it appealed to me at that moment. I say rock on, if you can write well, then do it. If you can write without slanting it towards hate or degradation then go for it! I hope to see for myself what kind of stuff you would come up with! Forward a link perhaps? ~Ang

shelley

7/19/2012 01:37:26 am

i agree. if he writes a good story and its coming from his head his desires and makes us enjoy it and possibly ourselves while reading it. who cares what he does with his earned money.

7/12/2012 06:50:48 am

Fascinating! Nothing like having an "odd" attraction to make you understand our lot in life a little better, huh? At least I hope you would. I also hope that you, just like us, in this little coming out of yours, would realize that we are all so different, and there are so many different attractions and none of them are bad unless they hurt someone. I for one am kind of flattered that you are attracted to butch women. Haven't heard that one before but it makes just as much sense as me (a butch woman) being attracted to other butch women or a masculine man being attracted to a feminine woman or two men attracted to each other. It is what it is, and in my opinion it's all divine (among consenting adults).

With regards to your writing, I would take into account that it was a man writing it, but if it's good, it's good. I guess I would feel a bit more of a kinship to a woman writing it, but that's just me. I would probably analyze it more knowing a man wrote it. On the other hand, you and I have something in common that either of us could write about, and that is our love for women.

When I hear of someone who has an uncommon attraction that I haven't heard of before, whereas some people instantly degrade or feel hatred for that kind of thing, it just intrigues me. It reminds me again how different we all are, and that there is someone for everyone. All part of the divine plan that so many refuse to see.

I applaud you for writing this, and I congratulate you for your award. I would love to meet you, but I doubt I could refrain from flirting with you, and that would just confuse the hell out of me. LOL

Stacy

Ronni

7/12/2012 06:53:51 am

I think its awesome! I love how in touch with yourself you are. I myself am attracted to butch women and over the years have had to battle the questions from ignorance, not only from friends and family, but even within myself. As a lesbian, they would say, you should be attracted to fem women. Why would you want a women who looks like a guy? they would ask. Why not just date guys? they would ask. these are not questions that come with simple answers. I really appreciate the "queer" aspect of who you are and what you are doing. I dig it and would love to read some of your stuff!

Jodie

7/12/2012 09:04:38 am

Ronni I couldn't have said it better myself. Shame there are not more supportive guys like this as from personal experience there are many more who would rather assault us than love us. Nice work.

Jesse link

7/12/2012 07:20:24 am

I don't have a problem with any writer expressing themselves. We are all entitled to our own thoughts, emotions and feelings. He is simply expressing his. I don't think he owes anything to the gay community, and as a writer in the same genre I can almost bet you that he isn't exactly getting rich. We write because we love it. If we make a few bucks then we are lucky enough to get to eat that month! I think expecting him to "do" something for us is unrealistic and unfair.

Rudy

7/12/2012 09:54:34 am

I'd rather my money go to supporting women authors rather than straight (and I presume, white) cismales, but I got nothing against you as an erotica author so long as you deliver a good product.

Stacey

7/12/2012 11:02:37 am

Hey do what you feel happiest doing. I see absolutely nothing weird or wrong with it whatsoever. You like what you like, you feel what you feel and the fact that you're so in touch with that is actually quite nice to hear. Especially from a straight cis male.

jennifer

7/13/2012 12:14:14 am

there's a few things that really concern me about what you wrote, though I do appreciate your willingness to at least hear what bw readers have to say.

Firstly, the language in your post conflates gender presentation ("female masculinity makes my knees weak") and sexual orientation ("I've longed to be around lesbians"). Female masculinity and lesbians are NOT the same, and it is really offensive that you do not distinguish that here, in your language (you may yourself understand that difference; in which case your refusal to demonstrate that understanding is even more perplexing). In my opinion, until you can demonstrate an understanding of gender and sexuality, no, don't write erotica that is targeted for queer women. Educate yourself; do not expect lesbians to do it for you. That's offensive.

Secondly, you seem to be asking two different questions: one is about your own desires, and that's easy. You do do, my friend. Like what you like. Fantasize about whatever you want. Fuck who you want, as long as everyone's consenting. I fully support you when you say that "Our identities are incredibly personal to who we are," and I fully support your right to like whatever the hell you like. HOWEVER! Prefacing your question with a spiel about your identity is really problematic, because your question is not actually about your identity/desires, it's about the capacity in which it's appropriate for you to encroach in queer space. And making it about your own desires means that when lesbians say "no I don't want you writing about me and my identity" you can turn it around and say "look at that lesbian who told me I couldn't be who I wanted to be," and that is not ok. So: while I appreciate that you are trying to ask, please stop asking this question in a way that makes it about you and your poor, maligned, misunderstood desires and start asking it in a way that prioritizes the group of people with less privilege than you. If you are thinking about playing around in queer spaces and you are walking around in a straight marriage, with all the legal and social benefits that confers, you need to be more aware of your privilege.

Third, there's the issue you're asking about, which boils down to whether it's ok for you to write and publish in lesbian anthologies erotica based on an identity (lesbian, not queer) that will never, ever include you as a cis man. I, personally, would absolutely not buy a book of lesbian erotica knowing that it had a story in it by you. The thought makes me feel dirty. I find your desire "be around lesbians" tokenizing and disgusting. But that's a different question than your right to write those stories. As long as you are upfront about it, that your author bio always makes your gender identity clear, you're not deceiving anyone. You have every right to write whatever stories you want and seek publication for them in whatever venue you want, and I have every right to think that you're a douche.

Alison

7/13/2012 09:45:39 am

I just wanted to reply to one or two of your comments, Jennifer. While I agree with your last line, that everybody has the right to think or feel what they want, I disagree with your exhortation for him to stop writing until he is totally educated about all different identities, gender issues, etc. I feel like this author means well and has a kind attitude, it seems. So personally, I'd be OK with him writing butch erotica. I think there are probably many lesbian and/or butch identified people who write stuff--stories, articles, erotica--who still may not be super educated about the nuances of gender and identity. So if they can continue writing, I think anybody can (you know, as long as they're not claiming to be the world's foremost expert or anything, which this guy isn't).

Jennifer

7/14/2012 12:44:15 pm

You're right--it does seem like he means well, which is great. But the problem is not intent, it's power and privilege. And so when a person who has privilege (in this case, the straight cis man) writes in the voice of or even just about a marginalized group, especially if he does so in ignorance of the issues that are pertinent to the voice he's trying to coopt, well there's just a really ugly power dynamic at play there, one that EY sums up really well in the various comments here.

7/13/2012 12:36:08 am

I am going to push back against some of what has been said here.

As Katherine has pointed out, as a straight cisgendered man, you occupy a position of substantial privilege. This does not automatically demote you to “creep,” but it is something you must be mindful of. It is also why the rancher analogy does not work (much less the Jedi one)—it neatly sidesteps the reality of where privilege lies.

Here’s a quick sketch of what privilege can mean (and this happens as a rule, rather than an exception, between people who are privileged on an axis where others are oppressed). When a member of an oppressed minority attempts to gain recognition for scholarly or creative output rooted in her own experience, she will always first be told that her work is too ghettoized, her scope too narrow, her tone too self-righteous and shrill, that her work will not find an audience, that she cannot expect to be taken seriously. But when a member of a dominant class produces scholarly or creative work *about* the minority, this output is often praised as groundbreaking, fresh, edgy, daring, new, and it becomes part of the discourse circulating in the culture, legitimated because it was written by a member of the dominant class.

Keep in mind that this happens. It keeps happening. Not only do we have “familiar and direct knowledge” of our own lives; we have familiar and direct knowledge and, for many, it has pushed us into long periods of silence and isolation.

Do I feel owed something? Yes. Your post reminded me that part of fighting oppression is gaining control of the discourse about who we are. It means being recognized as the experts on our own lives, and having our voices prioritized over anyone else who might want to speak on the subject.

When you ask whether your work is “welcome,” what kind of welcome did you have in mind? While your desire for butches is perfectly valid, and while I can support people exploring their erotic identities through fantasy, there is nothing delicious about being marginalized for real. For that reason, I’m made uneasy by the thought that the stories you publish, regardless of the literary merit they may have on their own as carefully polished pieces of fiction, are nonetheless taking up a slot that could have been given to a lesbian writer—who could have used the visibility. If you admire butches, I’d rather you use whatever platform you have to challenge other straight men to examine their own misogyny, homophobia and transphobia. It’s work that’s sorely needed.

Jess link

10/25/2012 04:19:38 pm

Really, I understand what you are saying, but I feel that the idea of privilege and how people act upon it can often be very misguided and counter-productive to it's original intentions.

I just can't support making people feel guilty for the situation in life that they are in, and often had no say or control over. And I find that's often what this idea of "privilege" does, especially in how we define it through this "us vs. them" mentality.

Our society is very much a hierarchical pyramid. But I think the biggest misconception we have, is that being closer to the top of pyramid is somehow beneficial or better to us. It's not. The biological, social and psychological drives within us that created this lay-out for society are not necessarily here for our benefit.

They are here because of evolution. Survival of the fittest. What was once a survival drive is now a petty game that leads us away from understanding each other. What was once there to defend us from predators is now here to defend us from... nothing. We live in a time where there are no more predators as we knew them thousands, or even hundreds of years ago. But that sense, that fear, that competitive drive, it's still here. But all we are surrounded with is each other.

Thus, those around us will be targets of our out-dated instincts. Our biology doesn't know that we are safe, that we can stop focusing on survival through fear, and instead focus on progress through understanding and compassion.

I think that privilege doesn't recognize the very complicated nuances of people and play into this unnecessary pyramid structure of society. It's the people at the bottom trying to climb their way to the top.

Privilege is perhaps a softer version of that, and yes! There is passion and understand in it. People's comments here have shown that. But at it's core, it's still plays into the system that is not benefiting us.

It's also not really a system that we can get rid of overnight. It may even take a very, very long time. Our out-dated instincts are still here, and because of that, they are still relevant. But what they are saying to us doesn't have to be the final word.

Really, sociology can endless frustrate me sometimes in it's tendency to perpetuate stereotypes of people.

This social policing, I just can't get down with it. I mean, your post doesn't exactly warrant being called "policing," but I've encountered people, statements and experiences that were very much that.

10/25/2012 04:31:11 pm

If anything, I think the butch world could find a lot to be happy about that they have a straight, cis male admirer.

I'm not straight, nor necessarily cis, but I am male and have felt a strong attraction to lesbians, butch women, boi's, whatever for a long time.

While his books may not leave as much room for actual butch women writers, they can also serve as validating sources for struggling butch and queer women.

I'm sure even some women may feel good seeing someone that wouldn't normally understand them, understand them better then most.

I'm bisexual and genderqueer, and I remember hearing a straight, masculine male say that sex between two men is "beautiful." That made me feel awesome.

That's certainly better then being asked "can we still make gay jokes?" when I first came out to my friends.

There's lots of positive things that come out from this guy and his writing.

Ed link

10/26/2012 08:40:42 am

Hi:

You've made some good points, and in paragraph four really touched on the heart of the matter, which, in my view, is fear. How we allow others to manipulate us through fear, (the current election hoo-haw being a VERY powerful case in point) How we measure the "validity" of our own emotions by comparing them to how others that we consider peers are reacting to the same...inputs...for lack of a better word, in order to avoid being rejected.

Politicians manipulate our instinctive fear of the unfamiliar to get us to vote for them on the promise that they'll "take care of that problem" which always seems to boil down to confronting "wrong-thinking" people who want to destroy "our way of life"

While there is a “dominant culture” few people would identify themselves as belonging to it, except when they are trying to make the case that cultural artifacts such as marriage must be preserved exclusively for themselves.

An important point is that they refuse to identify such artifacts as the symbols of hetro-sexist, patriarchal privilege, which is exactly what it is. Marriage was created by men, for men. To it's “defenders” It's never anything less than the “Will of God.” Which is, of course, utter bullshit. Dropping the expectation of a dowry from the brides family didn't become widespread in this country until the middle of the 20th century. It is still considered “traditional” here that the brides family pay for everything. In most of the world, it's cash on the barrelhead. Why? To “cinch the deal” because women are less valuable than men.

As ludicrous as it sounds to us, many of the white conservatives that flock to groups like the tea party really and truly consider themselves a beleaguered minority. You could point out exactly how they benefit from being a member of the dominant culture, and how their status is predicated on denying that same status to “outsiders.” They wouldn't believe you.

But just as important, they, and us, are truly frightened by the prospect of being rejected by the societal sub-culture we have attached ourselves to.

As any city dweller here knows, a city isn't a megalithic entity, all those dwelling within part of a homogenous mass. A city is a grouping of neighborhoods that happen to be attached to one another. Those neighborhoods are just as "small town" in their outlook and attitude as Wall, South Dakota or Polson, Montana.

And the heart of that attitude is, "I'm surrounded by people who accept me." Very, very few people who are considered "social outcasts" actually wander off into the wilderness to live alone. They find others like themselves and create their own community. It's human instinct.

And the fear of being rejected by that community is truly terrifying. "Normal" society rejects them, and now their chosen community does also. Adapting to one's chosen community is so integral, so hardwired, into human life that we do so without giving it any thought at all.

Humans MUST acculturate. Whither it's a community one seeks to join as an adult, or the community one is born into. Being a true outcast, rejected by everyone, is something most people would move heaven and earth to avoid.

So we adopt the correct method of viewing the world. Whatever that view may be. We see a society of patriarchal and racial privilege, with material wealth, and the opportunities to amass it, being it's most visible reward. To many white people, that's crazy talk. This society isn't that way AT ALL.

You could not convince most of them to see your point of view because that would entail rejecting the societal sub-culture they have been acculturated into. You would be asking them to risk rejection from those they consider beloved peers.

And it all reduces down to...fear...Without fear, none of the most prominent features of patriarchal culture could survive. You can't have sexism, racism and misogyny and homophobia without fear.

If we cannot learn to conquer fear within ourselves, if we cannot face the necessity of using love and compassion in dealing with those who reject us, attack us and oppress us, nothing, NOTHING will ever permanently change for the better. It will ALWAYS be, two steps forward, one step back.

If we cannot conquer our own fear, we cannot help them conquer theirs. And yes, they need our help.

7/2/2013 11:33:15 am

As a cis-gender European-American male who has been attracted to butch women most of my life, I am pleased to see this discussion.

I think Jennifer and EY raise some very good points regarding power and representation.

Although in a very different context, I have seen very similar dynamics at play regarding the representation of Native (indigenous) communities. In this context, the power imbalance between native and non-native (colonist) are much more stark, but there are similar issues:

What is native experience?
Who can authentically write about native experience?
Can white (or other non-native) writers portray native experience without replicating hundred of years of racist colonial distortion?
Can non-native writers portray native experience without perpetuating harmful and distorting "noble savage" stereotypes?

In the native context, the results of inaccurate portrayal are very real: the perpetuation of implicitly or explicitly racist stereotypes that hide, justify, and/or reinforce centuries of genocide and domination. Additionally, native folks quite rightly tend to get very upset when they perceive that non-native people are taking up space telling their stories (often inaccurately) for them, as this just perpetuates the problem.

In this situation, the ethical answer is typically that writing about native experience is usually best left to native people, although from time to to time, an exceptionally respectful and well researched writer may make useful contributions that are acclaimed within native communities. (Think Dee Brown, non-native author of "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee")

That said, butch experience is very different than indigenous experience because butch women are not an ethnic group, butch women as a group are incredibly diverse, and native people and butch women experience oppression differently (and, butch native woman experience both). I am not equating the two, only illustrating the general point in a more clear cut context.

The take home is that when you are writing about an oppressed minority you don't belong to, it is probably best left to members of that group.
However, if you do choose to write:
1) You have a responsibility to meet a high standard of accuracy, so that you do not inadvertently perpetuate harmful stereotypes and power dynamics.
2) You have a responsibility to avoid displacing a minority writer, which would re-create the oppression.

So if Mr. Gallagher wants to write butch-lesbian erotica, he is ethically obligated to make it as accurate and good as possible and that it does not recreate male and/or heterosexual privilege.

As Jennifer and EY point out, that Mr. Gallagher mistakenly equates butch women with lesbians at large is unsettling, and gives pause to the idea that Mr. Gallagher is doing respectful due diligence.

That said, I'm glad to see another cis-male admit that butch women make him weak in the knees. I feel that way, too.

But I've also learned that its wise to stick with straight or bi butch women (not strict lesbians) who might actually have feelings for me, too.

7/13/2012 12:39:36 am

As an addendum, I want to add my support for what Jennifer is saying in the post above mine. (I published my response before refreshing the page and seeing hers.)

7/13/2012 01:02:34 am

Thanks EY -- both for your support and also for your comment, which I loved.

Kat

7/13/2012 12:55:03 am

Honestly, I don't care about the gender/orientation etc. about the author of any erotica I read, as long as it is well written. The only time I check the name of an author after reading something is if it is either very good or very bad. If I read something and it sounds like no kind of sex I could imagine a butch girl like myself having...and I saw it was written by a man, then I would probably say, "Oh, that figures." But if I'm digging what I read, I don't care who wrote it. My concern would be the believably factor. As most straight guys I know seem to think that every kind of sex I have as a butch girl exactly mimics straight sex. So, as long as it is good, and not trying to turn the butch characters into an analogue for straight men...write on!

Kris

7/13/2012 03:27:19 pm

I'm butch and I've noticed male attraction (with a bit of confusion). And I work to be mature enough to just accept it. I can't stop you from fantasizing about people who aren't attracted to you as much as anyone can stop me.

But, as for longing to be around other lesbians, lesbians are just a collection of individuals of varying appearances just like every other group so can you really say that you long to be around just any crowd of lesbians? I can't. There's where the creep factor comes in.

Devon Marshall link

7/13/2012 10:09:20 pm

As both reader and writer, I don't care who writes what when it comes to fiction...all that matters is did I enjoy the book or not? The experiences of characters should be a 'human' experience first and foremost, and the rest is why we have imagination. To enable us to put ourselves into the shoes of others. I don't imagine that Stephen King has ever made his own silver bullets and been werewolf-hunter. James Patterson is a middle-class white guy but writes the character Alex Cross who is African American. No one tells those writers that they shouldn't be writing those characters. If you tell a cis hetero male that he shouldn't write lesbian characters ( butch, femme, or whatever ) then presumably you would tell a butch lesbian that she shouldn't write hetero characters? Nonsense! It's fiction - it's for enjoyment, not dissection. As for the guy's personal feelings, well, human attraction is a fluid and often strange thing. So he finds female masculinity attractive - it's unlikely that he's the first cis hetero male to feel that way and he won't likely be the last either. There are cis hetero women out there who are masculine, after all. And males who are very feminine. And on and on and on. I don't see how anything is 'creepier' about it than a lesbian who finds hetero women attractive?

7/14/2012 06:55:54 am

On the issue of majority writers writing minority characters: two things. First, there are real life consequences to being imagined by others. Fiction is not necessarily harmless; pop culture and high art alike can play a part in making oppressive behaviors seem normal, inevitable, heroic, humorous—and this can happen entirely without any kind of malicious intent on the part of the writer.

(Also: I do not belong in the same category as a werewolf hunter or a Jedi knight. My existence isn’t nearly as thrilling, or as fictional. Those of you who are tempted to make these analogies, please stop.)

Second, minority writers find that visibility doesn’t come easily. While no one is contesting the right of hetero cis men to write hetero cis characters (and while these characters can be found to be believable, complex, compelling and “universal”), queer writers writing queer characters will often get treated to a reception of a different kind. This means a few things. When hetero cis writers write from an assumed queer perspective, they risk reinforcing oppressive dynamics (and again, this can happen without awareness or intent), and they are pushing already marginalized voices further into the margins.

This can happen even if they’ve carefully researched their material beforehand. This can happen even when they intend to be nothing but respectful. Systematically marginalized people need all the airtime they can get when it comes to shaping the public narratives on who they are, where they’ve been, and what they need. For this reason, I don’t have any qualms about telling a straight man, “There are many, many stories that are yours to tell. This isn’t one of them.”

On the other hand, a queer writer writing a straight character will not somehow contribute to oppression or misrepresentation of straight people, because there is no such thing. Nor will she be a hindrance to straights representing themselves on their own terms—and having those terms taken seriously.

Nina Potts link

7/23/2012 09:00:58 am

As a writer myself, I take no issue with your writing from different perspectives, butch lesbian, gay man, alien, whatever. It is ridiculous to expect a writer to only write about things they have experienced. Some of my writing is from a straight male, straight female, butch lesbian, and trans perspectives. I am none of those things. I do the best I can, I research about the types of people I'm writing about to make them as authentic as possible. And there are quite famous and amazing writers out there who do the same. One of my favourite authors is Anne Rice. Anyone who has read any of her books knows she has written from a male perspective quite often, and often from a gay/bi male perspective. Not to mention that some genres of writing would disappear completely if authors had to stick to writing about people like themselves.

I also don't think someone writing about any topic, any type of person, or anything at all should be expected to donate monies made from their work to charities that reflect their characters. In what other profession do you dare require someone give their hard earned money to a charity because of what they do for a living.

Lastly, as long as he understands those boundaries, that he can write all he wants, but not hit on butches (at least ones in relationships or that are lesbians) or assume that he has some sort of right to convince them to have a relationship or sexual encounter with him, I don't see the problem.

PS: I made the distinction about butches in relationships because just because someone is butch does not guarantee they are a lesbian.

8/3/2012 09:19:01 pm

Hi:

I was going to post a reply here earlier, a few days ago, but by the time I finished it was running to four pages in OpenOffice, I felt like I was dumping on the site to post something that large, so I sent it to the mod and asked wither it would be okay, or if I should, perhaps, re-submit it as a guest post.

I haven't heard back, and this is something I really wish to comment on. It's a very personal subject for me, and something that, like Mr Gallagher, I've been struggling with since I began writing in 2005.

I am not published (fingers crossed) and I usually don't write in any genre, unless slice-of-life is a genre. The exception is the second Big Project I'm working on, it's a fantasy. Unlike Mr Gallagher, I don't do butch erotica, or erotica of any stripe. Perhaps I just haven't gotten there yet. My Muse loves to spring interesting ideas on me.

Which kinda brings me the point of my post. This is going to sound...odd...but it's true. My Muse is very, very real, and she's an unapologetic lesbian. Why she picked me to be a Muse to, I don't know. In haven't asked and I don't really want to. I mean, the first time she really stepped into my life, it was 1992, I was working in a restaurant and perfectly happy to go home, watch TV and go to bed. I've loved art all my life, especially when I was a little kid, it was an escape for me, believe me, I needed one, but I never thought I could create any.

She changed that in pretty short order. Cliffs Notes version, she wouldn't leave me alone until I became “creatively engaged.” (her words) And...I'm running on again. Sorry. Did I mention I'm a writer?

In my life I've made friends with lesbians at what were...turning points...for me. That's not the best description, but I can't think of a better one. Transitional milestones, I don't know. They were periods of accelerated emotional growth, and I “just happened” to meet these women during them.

For three of them it was transitional as well. They came out during the course of our friendship. One made me the first person she told. My response was, “Congratulations. You're glowing.” And she was! She was radiant.

I mention this because these friendships have deeply influenced how I view women and made me aware of what it really means to be female in a monolithic patriarchy and a lesbian (or a gay male) in a deeply hostile, racist, homophobic culture.

Which brings me to my writing. In Big Project Two, which is slice-of-life, all the characters are lesbians. Not that much of a stretch with six or seven characters.

My The book is entering a new phase where I am focusing on the relationship between my central character, Beth and her girlfriend, Shakti. ( It's Sanskrit. Her parents were hippies, it's in the book) the problems that Beth is having with her self-image after her doormat-ish behavior in her previous relationship, (it ended Way Not Well) and Shakti's behavior, which is bothering Beth A LOT, that is rooted (although Beth doesn't know it yet and Shakti isn't willing to acknowledge it...yet) in her experience in the Army during the occupation of Iraq.

Specifically, what she, as an out lesbian, had to compromise on, emotionally, to serve in the Armed Forces during Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Shakti is a “It's Not A Big Deal.” kinda gal. Everything is under control. EVERYTHING. But it's not. What happened in Iraq, and especially after coming home, was a devastatingly big deal, but she's keeping a lid on that.....and I'm in the process of writing that part now.

I really, really, really, really want to get this right. I might even toss in a sex scene. But ever since I started this in March of 2010, I've been struggling with the fact that I am a strait white male writing about lesbians.

One little voice says “How Dare I”

My Muse says, “Why are you listening to disembodied voices? Too much acid at all those Dead shows, Bucko? I want to know what happens to Beth and Shakti and Amy and Dottie (she's the moral center of the book)and Tina and even that flaming bitch, Sharon. (Beth's ex) I'm your Muse, Ed you KNOW what I can do to you if you try to go AWOL on this.”

But...How dare I. Anyone's thoughts? Opinions?

Butch Wonders link

8/10/2012 06:31:16 am

Hi Ed,

I didn't get your guest post! Try sending again, if you don't mind. butchwonders@yahoo.com.

Cheers,
BW

CoconutsGo

12/17/2012 04:45:31 am

"I've longed to be around lesbians, but I don’t want to force myself into a community that isn’t looking to have me. I want to write about this delicious type of woman that excites me, but I don’t know if I have the right to do so."

LOL, this isn't too far from "ohh, can I watch?"
I've longed to be treated by men as an equal human being rather than as a masturbatory fetish. I see no difference between this and so-called "lesbian" (i.e. straight women screwing for pay) porn produced by hetero males.

Write whatever you like, but don't expect us butch dykes to support it. We are dykes, after all - men need not apply!

Lee Brooks Shull

9/16/2013 04:14:07 am

I'm a bisexual butch woman. From as far back as I can remember the men who have been attracted to me have had to put up with a lot of bullshit from their hetero-normative peers. When straight men are attracted to me they wonder if they are gay, when gay men are attracted to me they wonder if they *aren't* gay. Every man who has ever been with me has had to do a lot of internal work to figure out his head and heart and has had to have a lot of balls to stand up to society.

I understand the butch=lesbian connotation, but that's not always the case. I know a lot of butch women that would date a man who could appreciate them, but since there is this huge invisible wall and society dictates that straight men and butch women must be on opposite sides of it nothing ever gets explored.

I'd like to see you stop writing about the experiences of lesbians, which you will never fully understand, and start writing about the experiences of being a straight man attracted to a butch woman. I have never read a love story like that, and I would really like to.

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