Happy Surprises About Being Gay

When I was first coming out, I thought that being gay would be a big huge pain in the neck.  I expected to be stared at when I was out with a girlfriend, I thought my straight friends wouldn't feel close to me, and that I'd always feel excluded at straight weddings and baby showers (if I was even invited). 

Some of these fears weren't entirely unfounded, but in my everyday life, the downsides of being queer were far smaller than I'd expected.  Sure, there were a few lousy surprises (e.g., sometimes people stare, and the "convert a straight girl, get a toaster" thing turns out to be a total scam).  But overall, being queer brought more good surprises than bad ones. 

One of these good surprises: kissing is fun!  And just for the sake of kissing, not as requisite foreplay (who knew?).  For another, I realized I love fashion.  Liberated to wear what I want, I now love reading about fashion and shopping for myself and other people.  My younger self (who broke out in hives just walking near Macy's) would never have believed this was possible.

While I was thinking about the surprise perks of being gay, I posted a question on Facebook yesterday "What's the #1 SURPRISINGLY best thing about being gay?"  I received over 50 answers and thought I'd share some:

• "Being gay I have gotten a lot closer to my family...I am very fortunate in that regard."
• "The fact that you understand how your partner's body function in bed. That's an undeniable advantage ;)"
• "Getting to be lovers with butches!"
  
• "Not having to worry about getting her knocked up."
• "Being able to be your true self."
• "You can share pieces of clothing."
• "Go TOGETHER in a public bathroom and no one will EVER ask questions. ;)" 
  
• "Being different!"
• "My community. The incredible bond in bed with my GF."
• "Being openly queer means you have a built-in filter that will detect and remove a good portion of the closed-minded jerks that could potentially enter your life. It's truly a great tool for screening out assholes, stodgy work environments, and boring parties."  (I thought that was a particularly terrific [and true!] answer.)
• "We have the BEST PARTIES!!! :P"
• "I finally feeling like i belong somewhere :)"
• "The courage that comes, the friends that love you as you are, the being able to breathe as a whole human."
• "Contentment deep within, like everything is the way it's supposed to be!"
• "Great sex and can't get pregnant!! ;)"  (I love not worrying about pregnancy--and not being on birth control pills.  Yeesh!)
  
• "On a personal level it's the freedom to date/express my attraction to women without the feeling that it is wrong."
• "Raising our children with diversity... love and acceptance of others.  My kids will have obstacles because they have two moms. But they will also have advantages because they are taught to 'dare to be different' and walk to the beat of your own drum!"
• "It used to be the novelty factor, as explained by Armistead Maupin. But there are so many of us out now, and we are more accepted, so that's not really it anymore."
• "Not being constantly asked when I'm gonna have kids is lovely."
• "The ultimate is being able to be yourself, no matter what. Knowing that how you feel is natural and not anything to be ashamed of."
• "The people I've become close to that I wouldn't know if i was straight."
• "When i came out to all the managers in the company i worked for at a meeting and they all clapped for me and gave me hugs that i could finally be open."
  
• "Knowing who my real friends & real family are...  and proud of my grandmother for telling me half the world is gay anyway! lol, she's probably more right than she knows ;)"
• "Meeting and marrying my wife was also surprisingly wonderful... I was told I'd never get married or have kids...HA! to you i say!"
• "The look on str8 ppls faces when I (obvious dyke/butch) walk in a room with my 2 beautiful daughters, one adopted and one birth.  They look so startled and confused, like deer in headlights. LOL is it wrong that I giggle inside every time?"
• "We can share dressing rooms, and bathrooms ;) and clothes. Also, having the same thought processes, same body parts which makes for very easy understanding of each other's pain and pleasure."
• "It has brought my mom and i closer and I have made amazing friends through lgbt groups."
• "That moment when either the viciously judgmental comments or the 'totally understanding' - 'well, good for you,' never come. It eases my cynical heart just the tiniest bit more."
• "Being out, being myself, supports my honesty and integrity. Being with the person that i fell in love with. Living life completely and wholly, not hiding who I am."
• "Kissing another woman. Best thing ever."
• "Breaking the stereotypical ignorance of some: 'you don't look like a lesbian.'"
• "I can be who I am, a Beauty King."
• "Knowing I'm right where I belong."
• "I am free!"
  

Do any of these answers resonate with you, dear readers?  What was the best surprise for *you* about being queer?