I've gotten eight zillion emails from readers who identify as "of size" or "fat" or "bigger" or "hefty" or "rotund," and want to know how they can dress stylishly and comfortably as larger butches.
If you're non-gender-conforming OR on the huskier side, you've probably felt self-conscious about your appearance. Combining BOTH can leave you feeling like a fashion pariah simply because you don't look like other people (and you challenge two mainstream ideals of attractiveness). The attractiveness bias has been well-documented, so I'm not going to go on and on about how all bodies are beautiful (they are), how health is more important than size (it is), or how we should accept ourselves for who we are now while striving to be who we'd like to be (we should). Instead, I'm just going to give you some advice about how to look your best. Some General Fashion Principles for Husky Butches:
And now, some specifics! Don't Wear:
Do Wear:
Any other tips you'd like to share? Any other questions you have about how to dress as a bigger butch?
17 Comments
It's true about the suspenders. They are also helpful if you don't have much of a hind end and have trouble keeping your pants in place even with a belt.If you can get the kind that button to your pants its better, the ones with toothed clips can put holes in dress pants.
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As a husky butch, I'm with you on all these points except two:
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3/30/2013 03:00:05 am
I *totally* agree about the suspenders + boobs point. That's a great point.
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QueerFemme
3/12/2013 04:35:04 pm
Great Post BW!!!=) To ALL the Husky Hotties out there...you are handsome behind belief!!! So walk with confidence and KNOW that there are A LOT of us beautiful femmes who swoon with just a simple glance from you!!! (which incidentally, also happens to be this queer femme's {irresistible} partner preference!!! ;) ~ Jess ♥.xo
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Kat
3/13/2013 01:13:50 am
I agree with Bren about the suspenders. I attempted them, but as I am very busty (DDD) they wound up not working on me. Instead, I buy a belt that is sized larger than my pant size (Pants are a 40 belt is sized at 46) so it still keeps my pants from falling down, without digging into me.
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Jess
10/26/2018 09:27:07 am
Thank you! I so appreciate this info!
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Kala
3/13/2013 04:36:42 am
Love this! I disagree about the skinny tie as well for short and stout people the thicker ties do not look good on me at all! Also! About the skinny jeans if you get mens skinny jeans they actually look really good i get mine from american eagle. One thing to avoid though is jeans with rips!
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3/13/2013 11:43:09 am
My advice: Find good supportive (or minimizing) undergarments -- be it a sports bra, binder, or regular bra -- before trying on clothes. A large, low-slung bust really ruin the line of masculine clothes, making you look like you're slouching and bulkier than you are. I know a lot of butches have complicated relationships with anything bra-like, but a good one will help you stand up straight and *represent*.
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Holly R.
3/13/2013 12:47:35 pm
I'm really happy about seeing this post here. I land on the femme side of things, but my partner is butch and fabulously fat. She has really fantastic taste in clothes and looks great in pretty much everything. It can be challenging to find clothes, particularly shirts, that work for her larger hips. That's where tailoring can come in handy.
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I agree with Holly. Some of these fashion rules seem to assume that a fat person's goal always is or should be to appear less fat than they are. Maybe if you're a little bit plump, wearing dark colors or avoiding double-breasted jackets will disguise your shape. But fat people look fat no matter what we wear, so we might as well wear the colors and tie widths we like.
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Kate
5/11/2013 04:31:26 am
Great point, Stef! This whole article comes off as a little fat-shaming to me!
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My problem is that I am short and looking for under 30" inseams. I am a poor college student on a cashier's income, so tailoring is out out, period. What do I do? I go shopping for clothes I love. Honestly, it takes a lot of courage and self-esteem to say "shove it" to society and dress the way you want, because all girls are pressured to dress to attract others, not dress to feel good. However, with my boyish looks and body shape, I am able to go to the men's department and find nice pullovers, polos, button-downs, and tees that fit my body and make me look and feel good. Some sizes I wear are 34, some are 36 depending on whether they are low-rise or at the waist. Some shirts are large, others are XL. I hated fashion as a kid because my mom would make me wear baggy stuff, or wear large women's outfits that looked no good on me. Both had kids tease me endlessly. Once I had my own job and could buy my own stuff, I started looking better, feeling better. My friends loved my style, even if my family didn't. Been like that for the most ever since.
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Holly R.
3/22/2013 09:58:49 am
Charlie, do you have access to an iron? If so, and you haven't yet tried any of the magical iron-on hemming tapes available at sewing and craft stores I highly recommend. There's also a liquid that you can squeeze on like a glue to hem, and both of these products are under $5 (at least in Michigan where I live).
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3/17/2013 09:18:34 am
Loved reading the post & loved reading the comments! Just one thing to add from this butch-loving femme: yes, you absolutely, positively, *can* be hefty and incredibly hot. Many of you look good. Seriously, pulse-quickeningly, good. In fact, whether you favor wide ties or skinny ties, suspenders or not, or any of the rest of this, please just remember that some of us out here will feel a thrill of excitement when you enter the room. And that's a good thing. ;)
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So I've been super busy and a total failure at commenting on this post.
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3/30/2013 03:03:54 am
Oh, I didn't mean to suggest that husky butches shouldn't wear bright colors. Some look rad in bright colors--especially those rocking the "dandy" look! But I do think that dark colors can look especially good, too. That's why I was suggesting considering dark colors, but didn't suggest avoiding bright ones. :)
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DCfemme
3/28/2013 10:23:39 am
Although I read this post late, I have to comment. I speak as a butch-loving femme and I think the most important thing a fabulously husky butch can wear is a confident attitude. Confidence is dead sexy in any size.Whatever you do, own your look. Many femmes appreciate the benefits of a butch who is a larger size, or as Kat stated "built to last" (love that!) On a more practical side, I think that tailoring and accessories can take you from sloppy butch to very dapper butch and don't have to cost a fortune. Be comfortable, neat, and above all - be a proud butch.
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