A younger friend of mine is coming out as a lesbian, and I've been talking her through some different aspects of it. It's now been just over a decade since I came out as gay myself, and I've been thinking a lot about what's gotten harder, what's gotten easier, and what hasn't changed much at all. Here are my thoughts.
How about you, dear readers? I'd love to hear how you think coming out has changed in the last 10 years. What's different? What's not?
9/13/2017 04:42:35 pm
To me basically nothing has changed except there's less solidarity in the community, no lesbian bars, no lesbian bookstores, everyone assumes you've got it together and it's easy to come out now but truth be told it's not easy at all at least not for me..........
9/13/2017 05:22:12 pm
I came out in 1997, and then got involved with a guy and got marrried in 2003, and now I'm in the process of coming out again. Definitely feels less revolutionary 20 years later. I don't feel like gay culture is counterculture the way it was then. Definitely the butch/femme thing seems less prevalent today, and there's a lot more visible diversity in the lgbtq community.
9/17/2017 08:15:08 am
"queer" has killed the lesbian community. in 2017, being lesbian feels as lonely as it was before
1/21/2018 11:16:37 pm
I mostly just want to say thanks for posting this. I'm 42 years old, and for the last few years I've been slowly slowly crawling out of the closet (after being married to a man and having two children with him). I used to present as rather feminine, I'm coming to understand that I feel MUCH more comfortable with a more masculine presentation. I'm now looking rather masculine, apparently. Twice when I've asked about bathrooms I've been asked if I"m looking for the men's room or the women's. Also one of my kid's classmates asked me if I was a mom or a dad.The process feels pretty excruciating right now, honestly. Also it feels amazing and wonderful. Most of the stuff in the 2107 column feels familiar to me. It was comforting somehow for me to see that all gathered together. Also it helped to see someone pointing out that coming out is an almost never ending series of highs and lows.Sorry this is ridiculously rambly. I'll just end with another THANK YOU.
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