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June's Best Search Terms

7/2/2012

7 Comments

 
These may not be as patently silly as May's search terms were, but it still amazes me what people can search for to reach Butch Wonders.  Here are some of my favorites from this month:
  • "top 10 butch chick names"  (Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, Mittens, Pammi, Tammi, Kitti, Kiki, Candi, and Lulu.)
  • "how to be more butch" (Change your name to one of the above.)
  • "my butch will not have sex until after marriage."  (I just hope you don't live in Arkansas or something.  That could be a loooong wait.)
  • "i have a crush on my friend angie who is a lesbian shes 30 im 62"  (The specificity of this search is what gets me.  Did this person expect to find a website that was like: "Hey, if your name's Angie and you're 62, you've got to read this?")
  • "straight women attracted to butch women"  (Butch women hot.  Straight women not so straight.)
  • "are rachel maddow and susan still together"  (Rachel hasn't called to ask me out yet, so I'm assuming so.)
  • "lesbian bloogs"  (Are ooften gooood tooo loooook at.)
  • "want to do it all syndrome"  (If this is a real thing, I totally have it.)
  • "why does ellen only wear pants?"  (What is this person watching??  Disappointingly, in everything I've seen, Ellen is wearing a shirt, too.)
  • "wonders of the world very very very very very very very very wonderful than all wonders of the world"  (Butch wonders very very very very very very wonderful indeed.)
  • "my daughter is beautiful and is attracted to butchish women"  (Yay!  Lucky you!  You get the best of both worlds: a true gentleman for your daughter, and a daughter-in-law for yourself.)
  • "lesbian thank you for smelling good"  (You're welcome.)
  • "how many dogs have the name butch"  (3667.)
  • "i want a faux hawk but im a girl"  (Sorry.  Your sex presents an  insurmountable obstacle to the haircut you want.)
  • "dont date temperamental men"  (Good idea.)
  • "does it mean your gay if you have a fohawk"  (Yup.)
  • "why are people butch lesbians"  (Because sometimes hairstylists accidentally give straight women fauxhawks and it turns us into butch lesbians.  Sadly, it's irreversible.)
  • "wear only suit vest"  (Bad advice.  I suggest pants as well.)
  • "Do straight guys hug a gay guy as friends?"  (No.  As I've covered in the past, this turns you gay.  A straight women can hug a lesbian without becoming a lesbian...  but if the lesbian she hugs is butch, they will probably become at least a little bit gay.)
  • "how to tell if your butch"  Look at the palms of your hands.  If you are butch, there will be either a green crescent or a purple star immediately below one or both of your index fingers.

7 Comments
Jc
7/2/2012 01:57:26 am

Oh oh oh! I love this one:"my daughter is beautiful and is attracted to butchish women" (Yay! Lucky you! You get the best of both worlds: a true gentleman for your daughter, and a daughter-in-law for yourself.)
Tis true! And what a wonderful world we live in that with computers we can search to the extent of our curiousity. I too like the how specific the elderly woman's question was. For some the concept of the internet equates to a Dear Abbey letter. I am just glad that at 62 she is finding someone to be attracted to, ya know?

Reply
Amy L
7/2/2012 02:15:10 am

OMG! I love the search terms but your comments are the best. Glad that I found BW (too bad I can't remember what I typed in google).

Reply
Joslyn
7/2/2012 02:17:08 am

Bahahahaha, unfortunately, I've seen Ellen in skirts...on the Ellen show, she wore them a lot, it seems D: but...sadly, I've never seen Ellen topless. But I know more than one lesbian who will SNAP UP Playboy (or...Playgirl?) if they ever decide to do a shoot with her. Just saying...

Reply
Caughtinyoureyes
7/2/2012 10:27:38 am

Loced the searches, loved the comments! I come here for a little levity and sanity from my crazy world. You never disappoint.

Reply
JD
7/2/2012 12:15:09 pm

Hah! I'm sure Mittens (Mitt Romney) appreciates his butch nickname. :P

Reply
Claire-Marie le Normand link
7/3/2012 03:53:29 pm

yes, keep up with this feature. All websites can get this kind of data, but yours is especially entertaining.

Reply
Nina Potts link
7/16/2012 09:35:23 am

And I just stumbled over here through some other website. And add 2 more dogs to dogs named butch. I have my personal dog and my foster dog both named butch. My girlfriend identifies as butch. Much punning ensues.

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