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Last Month's Best Search Terms!

5/16/2015

14 Comments

 
I haven't posted a list of favorite search terms in a while, have I?  Here are my favorite search terms that somehow got people to Butch Wonders in April:
  • elvis forehead (I looooves me some elvis forehead.  [Wait, what!?])
  • lesbian clothing (Nearly all my clothing is homosexual.)
  • I'm straight but I dated a lesbian. is okay  (Agreed. Is okay.)
  • smart butch official dressing  (I found it!  See??)   --------------->
  • I am propose to 55 year old women and I am 43 can we do sex advice (I guess you could do sex advice, but you might brush up on sentence construction first.)
  • why would a 38 year old man want me a 58 year old woman (I bet he wants to do sex advice.)
  • i am going to stomp on your high heels Butch (Butch will not mind if you ruin her high heels.  She probably wasn't using them anyway.)
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  • why do butches like to wear black (It gives us the ability to walk through walls.)
  • what makes someone butch (Black clothing.  Also, it helps if they have Smart Butch dressing.)
  • who should have a bridesmaid at lesbian wedding (Everyone!  This includes the usher(s), parents of the brides, and all guests.  At a lesbian wedding, all parties present need bridesmaids!  Wheee!)
  • my age 20 my girlfrend is 19 we can have sex we do baby (What does this mean??  "We can have sex.  We do, baby!" or "We can have sex?  We do baby?"  PUNCTUATION MATTERS, people.)
  • if I'm a LESBIAN what should I wear to a wedding (Oh, if you're a LESBIAN? A LESBIAN??  A LESBIAN?!?!??)
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  • im a butch lesbian,how can i make my gf to be scared to lose me?  (If this is your honest-to-goodness goal, you need counseling more than you need a girlfriend.)
  • I have a crush on a butch lesbian.  (Me too!  I have a crush on Skyler Cooper, see?                                   <----------------------------------)
  • If my husband have 6 girlfriends apart from me what will i do that we will not have problem  (If you divorced him, you might have less problem.)
  • gay porn videos + safe + gay demon (Are you sure gay demons are safe?  Sounds kinda sketchy...)
  • how to store ties whilst knotted  (Do not store your ties knotted, period.  Also, why do I always have the urge to smack people who use the word "whilst?") 
  • how to comfort your lesbian sister  (Pat her shoulder stiffly while saying, "There, there, lesbian sister.")
  • i am only 14 years old how do i make a girl friend  (With clay, vinegar, and baking soda.  Oh wait--or is that my volcano recipe?)
  • how to act around gay guys (PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONG.)
  • gay friend invited to straight female friend to dinner  (OMG.  Again, it's best to just PRETEND NOTHING IS WRONG.)
  • does butch mean fat (No; it means "attractive eyebrows.")
  • busty girls like buzz cuts  (Another well-documented fact.)
  • boobless cartoon (If you do a search, I think you will be surprised how many cartoons do not have boobs.  Peanuts and Garfield come to mind, but I'm sure there are others.)
  • HOW PLAYING MATE LEADS ME TO LESBIANISM (Now that sounds like a riveting documentary.)
  • how old am I in gay years (Oh, in GAY years?  Hmm...  gimme a sec... carry the "1..."  Okay, I've got it!  Just add 3 years to your regular age.  Then multiply this number by 2.  Then multiply it by 0.5.  And then subtract 36 months.  THAT is your age in gay years.)
  • procreate or not to procreate (If you 're the person who typed in any of these search queries, please don't!)

Heh, heh...  Do you like these search term posts?  If so, it "like" or tell me in the comments and I'll bring them back on a monthly basis. 
 
14 Comments
catmo
5/16/2015 06:50:13 am

Yep, I spit my coffee laughing/coughing...Whilst reading this!!

Reply
Kim @ Butchlesque link
5/16/2015 11:23:02 am

YES! Please bring this back monthly.

Reply
Amanda
5/17/2015 02:53:52 am

Never stop doing these. This post was perfect.

Reply
Aurora link
5/17/2015 03:09:37 am

I love the search terms! Please continue with them =)

Reply
Kris link
5/17/2015 04:50:39 am

Loved loved loved it! Get it? LOVED it!

Reply
Dee
5/17/2015 08:36:16 am

yes please, I could start my day with a good laugh every morning.

Reply
springbyker link
5/17/2015 10:11:53 am

I confess: I used to read your search term posts at work, just so I could enjoy that feeling of having to stifle my laughter, which made me laugh all the more, sometimes even leading to laughing so hard and so softly that I had to wipe tears from my eyes.

Reply
zoe
5/18/2015 08:15:19 am

i LOVE these

Reply
Kaed
5/19/2015 03:03:51 am

Yes! I've missed these, please keep doing them!

Reply
SashaQ
5/30/2015 07:03:34 am

I love the search term posts, too - laugh out loud funny!

Reply
kj strange
5/31/2015 01:33:18 pm

my first visit. butch underwear or similar found you. I like your comments.

Reply
Woodstock
6/10/2015 09:28:11 am

I agree: never stop doing this. Funny as hell.

I do have to say, though, that there is "gay time." "We told Steve to meet us at 11:30." "Yeah, but he's on gay time. He'll be here at 1am."

Reply
Eridanis
7/5/2015 08:25:32 pm

More, just more. These are wonderful. Also slightly scary.

Reply
Kj
12/29/2015 06:09:49 pm

So I'm a bit late for the party, needed the laugh today! Thanks BW!

Reply

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