May's Best Search Terms

Some of the search terms that brought people to Butch Wonders in May were downright rad.  Here are my favorites:

• "lesbians get a free toaster for converting straight girls"  (Actually, they've changed that.  Now we get our choice of one of those USB drive/keychain combos, or a $5 Starbucks gift card.  Stupid economy.)
  
• "why do lesbians wear white is it a ceremony"  (Yes.  It is a ceremony.)
• "open face panini sex"  (I prefer finger sandwiches, but to each her own.)
• "will wearing short board shorts with bikini top make my butt bigger"  (Yes.  It will swell your buttocks at least 40%.  This is irreversible, so be careful.)
• "why dont gay guys get with butch women"  (Look carefully: you may have just answered your own question.)
• "what percentage of lesbians like soft butches"  (67.83%)
• "what is the name of the homosexual demon"  (Frederick Aloysius Nicholas Finkelstein Bergdoll.)
• "what does susan mikula do"  (She's an artist and Rachel Maddow's gf.  Seriously, can you imagine a better life than being an artist who gets busy with Rachel Maddow?  Answer: no you can't.)
• "what color swim shorts should men get"  (Lavender.)
• "super gay desktop backgrounds"  (This may be the gayest picture in existence.  Use it if you really want to up the gay.)
• "should i have sex with a butch lesbian if im a straight guy"  (Hell, why not?  But, um... chances are, you're going to need to do some convincing.)
• "why dress butch"  (Because it titillates the straight men.)

• "PICTURES OF ALL GAY DEMONS"  (I don't know about all gay demons, but the guy in this picture seems a likely candidate.)
  

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• "do lesbians cause problems in locker rooms"  (Yes.  We're always stuffing paper towels into the toilet and wiping soap all over the mirror.  We're quite the pranksters.)
• "how to get head in a locker room"  (Get a lesbian to cause some problems as a distraction [see above].  Then call out, "Hey, does anyone in this locker room want to give me head?"  This usually works.)
  
• "do gay girls wear pictures of women on their t shirts"  (Yes.  All of us.  All the time.  But you can only see them if you are also a lesbian.  This is a special "ceremony," like wearing white.)
• "butch tough white gay porn feet"  (My gay porn feet aren't as tough as you might imagine, but they are pretty darn white.)
• "butch lesbian insoles for shoes"  (I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that your insoles need not be sexual-orientation-specific.)
• "best way to store your ties"  (Dig a large hole in the ground.  Lightly knot each tie to two others.  Lower the ties into the hole.  Cover the hole with dirt.  Your ties will be safe for years.)
• "are alfani shirts gay"  (No, but they're totally bi-curious after a couple of drinks.)