Butch Wonders
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Over three years since I've posted.

9/17/2022

10 Comments

 
[Tap tap tap.]  Is this thing still on?

Ahem.  Hi, everyone.  Well, it's been over three years since I posted.  I'm open to writing a little more now that I'm getting settled in a new place.  But I confess that I don't even know what people would like to read about.

What's on your mind?

What do you wish you could read about?

What have you been wondering lately?

Yours as ever,
​BW
10 Comments
Sezza
9/17/2022 09:52:46 am

I want to hear your thoughts on queer culture! How it continues to evolve, how meanings of words are changing, how new words are being introduced. The fears of old guard queers versus the hopes of the young and upcoming. Anything about Butch Femme culture!

Reply
Jen
9/17/2022 03:20:01 pm

Firstly: What do you want to write about?

And also: I'm interested in hearing more about your experience transitioning from "normal married woman who hopes she's not gay" to butch lesbian. I'd love to hear more about that inner journey. How did you come to realize your butchness? What was it like?

For myself, earlier this spring I suddenly realized that I had been avoiding the masculine side of me for years and I suddenly was in a place where I could allow it to be and express itself as much as it needed to. I cut all my hair off, started feeling extremely uncomfortable wearing feminine clothing and felt amazing in really boyish clothes that I'd never liked wearing in the past. My demeanor changed a fair bit. It's been interesting.
Alongside that has been a fairly deep unearthing of all kinds of beliefs and expectations about me, gender, sexual/romantic attractions, gender expression, worthiness... You name it! It has been a Time, I tell you! And it makes me curious about the experience of others who have gone through a similar shift in themselves.

Reply
Rachel link
9/19/2022 01:41:14 pm

Welcome back! I'd love to know about what butch things excite you these days!

Reply
dee
10/20/2022 01:41:59 pm

hi! good to see you still around!

Reply
Alexis
11/6/2022 10:15:05 am

Still here

Reply
Asa
11/26/2022 07:37:20 am

Hey I really wanna have an experience with a butch or dyke..I am a male attracted to masculine but I am not gay ..I live in Atlanta Georgia and I am 26.. hmu 7626757146

Reply
Asa
11/26/2022 07:42:13 am

I Always wanna have fun with a dyke..I love it I am a male 26 , Atlanta Georgia.hmu

Reply
Dan
1/8/2023 04:54:58 pm

To be honest there should be an forum for guys who are attracted to butch/tomboy women.

Reply
Sam
7/3/2023 08:40:50 am

Hi BW,

In December of 2014, I was a scared college kid who wrote you an email that became your post titled, "Dear BW... Am I Trans?" Your kind, caring, intelligent, thoughtful response meant so much to me then, and it still does now almost 10 years later. I'll never forget how good it felt to read what you wrote: "I guess I'm just me. I'm one of the women but not one of the gals. I'm one of the masculine people but not one of the guys. Maybe you're just you, too?"

Those words helped me feel like I wasn't alone when I was 21 years old, and when I felt like no one understood me. Now, almost a decade later, I just made my very first butch friend (who is only 24, we're not totally disappearing!) and am now seeing a woman who thinks butches are just the greatest. I still identify as a woman and always have for all these years, even when that fact confused and angered people inside and outside of our community. I wanted to thank you for helping me realize that I could be a butch woman exactly as I am, and that that's not only okay but beautiful, special, and great.

I'm starting to notice a resurgence in butch identity - small and gradual, but still noticeable, at least in my city and circles. From my perspective, I believe butch resurgence has actually been aided by the insurgence of non-binary identity. I am currently part of a very large (approx. 700 person) international butch4butch discord server. As a 30 year old, I'm one of the very oldest people on it. I don't know what it is about my own age group (ie younger millennials), but I feel that what I now view as the "butch blip" is specific to my age demographic. I'm so grateful for the indications I'm seeing that the blip might be over.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this and am wishing you and your family to absolute best health, safety, and happiness. Even if you decide not to return to the blog, I wanted to thank you for the kindness and acceptance you showed me as a young person. I have every intention of passing it forward.

All the best BW,
Sam

Reply
Michelle
10/5/2023 06:32:49 am

Always valuable to hear your opinion and you opening the space to talk about butch-ness outside of all the additional modifiers that can be applied. I started reading your blog in grad school (like ten years ago) when I was really starting to understand and unpack my masc-side— baby’s first short-short hair cut. Now a decade later I’m on low dose T and thinking about pronouns, and that all leads to bigger questions on if I’m re-defining myself or if I’m just embracing more of myself or a million other what ifs or what nots. And then I re-read a post of yours from like 2015 about just that and while it didnt clear anything up for me, it reminded me that I’m not alone in this whole thing and that self-understanding is messy and confusing. That ultimately even if I don’t have all the “right” words to define myself— I know how to find a community of people who can open those dialogues. Not man or woman, just butch. Also and most importantly what are your thoughts on fragrances? And any good beanie recommendations for winter.

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