Pop quiz: When can you wear these things?

via vegasjuliette.com

Much as I dislike certain creations of the men's fashion world, there is often a time and a place for, um, enthralling items like manpris (pictured right) and bolo ties (whimper).  But what are these times?  What are these places?  I've designed a quiz to assist readers in determining the appropriate occasions for butches to frolic around in these sundry items.  Match numbers with letters to complete the sentences.  The answers are at the end.

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It is appropriate to wear

1. a bolo tie

2. socks with sandals

3. a cravat

4. manpris or sweatpants

5. rainbow suspenders

6. a novelty tie, such as one with pictures of Santa Claus or a Looney Tunes character

7. white socks

8. sunglasses

9. a tie measuring more than four inches at its widest point

10. plastic shoes

...only if:

A. you are wearing athletic shoes.

B. you are are at a Pride celebration, and/or are employed as a clown.

C. you are joking.

D. you do not leave your house.

E. you have anhidrosis.

F. it is Halloween.

G. you are a cowboy.

H. you are being deeply ironic.

I. you are British.

J. you are being exposed to sunlight.