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I really enjoyed this article by Peggy Orenstein, the author of the soon-to-be-released and wonderfully-named book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture. I'll be interested to read it, and certainly wonder what Orenstein means by "new." In any case, the Times article from a week and a half ago talks about the push for "girl-friendly" kids' toys, which have been getting some extra press in the wake of Lego's release of a "girl-friendly" line of toys, which includes a "Butterfly Beauty Shop" and a "Fashion Design Studio." These "girls'" legos are, of course, decked out in "girl" colors: lavender, pink, and powder blue:  We're girls, so we love pastels, lipstick, and beauty products! Tee-hee! Orenstein points out that although gender-specific toys are founded in research that suggests that girls and boys play differently from one another, these very preferences are--at least in part--products of nurture, not nature. To take it a step further, girls prefer pink in large part because we teach them that pink is what girls like. Even if we accept, for argument's sake, that little girls and little boys have different toy preferences, why do the toys need to be gender-segregated? Why can't we just have pink legos and navy blue legos and green legos all mixed together, and individual kids can decide what they want? Why are so many toy stores grouped into "girls" and "boys" toys? Why not put dolls alongside race cars? If boys end up gravitating toward some toys more than others, fine. But why spell out gender norms by labeling toys by gender before the kids even get their paws on 'em? For one, gender-normative toys make gender non-normative kids feel even less normal. It's not just that a girl who wants a toy race car is choosing a toy that the boys in her class also tend to choose; it's that she has to go to a section of the toy store that specifically excludes her to get the toy she wants. That is insane. What if research suggested that black kids and white kids had different toy preferences or play styles, and that it would be much more efficient for everyone to simply have an aisle called "black kids' toys" and one called "white kids' toys?" Not a perfect analogy, of course--but to me, it underscores the absurdity of categorizing kids' toys by gender.
15 Comments
Diana Woods
1/10/2012 03:14:48 pm
I was born in 1964. Most of my clear recollections begin in Kindergarten, '70-'71. I remember being in class and knowing that I was expected to grow up, get married and have babies. I remember knowing that I most certainly would NOT be doing that. I loved Barbies and Hot Wheels. I loved dancing and wrestling. I felt very much a part of the Women's Liberation Movement. I thought they were talking directly to me. I knew I had their support in liking both "girls" toys and "boys" toys. My parents never bought me any Hot Wheels. I had to play with my cousins' cars. Other than that my parents were very loving. I wasn't damaged because of it- I don't think. Fast-forward to my 41st birthday, after relationships with men and women (more women) the pink line showed up on the pregnancy test. The biological father became abusive shortly thereafter so I called the cops, they hauled him away and I never looked back. My son is 5-years-old and exceptional. He entered Kindergarten a few months ago reading at a third grade level and doing at least first grade math. I've done my best to let his personality blossom, to let him find his favorite colors and toys. He polishes his finger nails and plays with rocks. He plays with my Barbies and Hot Wheels! I've told him that he can like whatever colors and toys he likes and that people who might call him down for it are insecure. He knows that the First Amendment gives him the right to, among other things, wear whatever clothes he wishes and to paint his nails any colors he chooses. Thank you for your time. Keep up the good work.
Lyndsay
1/10/2012 04:06:11 pm
When I was a kid, I HATED barbies, even though my parents gave me one for every freakin holiday. Though I did like Rainbow Bright, and My Little Pony a great deal. I feel this is because these were kick ass role models, because rainbow bright took care of business...as much as a child's cartoon can lol. I did not like any of the other stuff I was supposed to, I likes transformers, and teenage mutant ninja turtles, I had no interest in playing house or marriage with my cousions. I wanted to play soccer, and swim and run, and climb trees. My parents (well my mother) was always great and supportive about everything I wanted to do, and any toy that I wanted (even though she kept buying me those infernal barbies). My point here, is that even though a toy might be marketed as gender specific is doesn't have to remain that way. If parents start buying their little boy, the design studio, or the kitchen because he wants it, then that toy is no longer gender specific. It doesn't matter what things are meant to be, it matters what we make them, and sooner or later the idiots trying to perpetuate gender roles, will learn...because there is more money in appealing to all genders. 1/11/2012 12:23:52 am
Heh, heh... This reminds me that when people (not my parents, who knew better) bought me barbies, I would spend hours and hours designing homes for them, complete with to-scale architectural plans. When it came time for them to move in, I completely lost interest!
Vanessa
1/12/2012 04:32:23 am
Oh my gosh, I was the exact same way. Literally. When friends came over to play Barbies, we would spend a bunch of time laying out the house and setting everything up and then my friend would say "Okay, now let's play!" and I'd be sitting there going "What do you think we've been doing???"
Sue
1/11/2012 10:11:31 am
Never liked Barbie. Always gave her to my sister. She was quite happy. Do you think that led to her three husbands and the fourth boyfriend?
Stacey
1/10/2012 04:36:19 pm
When I was a kid I was....I guess a mix you could call it. I would play barbies with all of the girls but I'd also go and hang out with all the boys and play legos and make up crazy games that involved beating up bad guys. I think kids need that kind of diversity, I mean hell it's a lot more fun than just sticking to one kind of toy. And I definitely made it clear to my mother that pink wasn't happening. Haha.
a) Those My Little Pony toys look like Bratz dolls. Scary.
Sue
1/11/2012 10:09:50 am
When I teach Human Growth and Development to my middle schoolers(6th and 7th grade), I make it a point to have a discussion on gender norming. Of course, I don't call it that. I always lead in with girls, asking if it is okay for girls to play with trucks, transformers, GI Joe's, skateboards, Legos, etc. Almost unanimously, the students agree that this is healthy and desired for the girls as long as they also have dolls and make up to play with. However, when I ask if it is okay for boys to have tea sets and dolls, this meets with either universal negativeness or an uneasiness settles on the class. Some are outright defiant about boys with dolls. I had one boy tell me not so long ago that playing with dolls would make a boy GAY. Soon, many see the road I have led them down. I can see the confusion in their little heads as to why one is sort of "okay" and the other is not. After so many years of teaching, I was hoping that things would have changed since I was a kid, but nope, it's still insidious.
Deborah Tanner
1/11/2012 11:56:49 pm
Wearing Pink
Sue
1/12/2012 07:22:05 am
Witya!
Deborah Tanner
1/16/2012 05:18:18 am
Thanks Sue
nat
1/13/2012 01:29:32 am
Ouch, this is painful. My daughter is 5, and no matter how hard I try to raise her in a positive, gender non-restrictive way, she begs me for all things pink, materialistic, and princessy. She's been obsessed with high heels since before she could walk. It hurts my pride, since I imagined our lifestyle (many gendered co-parenting collective) and analysis of gender norms would save us from this. It didn't. Since the day she refused the short haircut I'd always given her, to her rejection of any item of clothing that does not involve a tutu and her statement that when she grows up she wants to be a ballerina, she has shattered my ego into little splinters.
What your doing is wrong. if she wants to play with dolls and princesses let her. If she wants to play with "boys" toys let her. The have been strong princesses/queens.You can't force a kid to live in the image of you.
I have a soft spot in my heart for Legos, since that's the primary toy I played with while growing up. Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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