Butch Wonders
  • Blog
  • Butch Store: Genderqueer Us
  • About
  • Contact

Gynecology 101: Practical Tips for the Visit

2/25/2013

14 Comments

 
My last post got a ton of traffic; it seems like I'm not the only one out there with gynecologist stories (nor, for that matter, chin hairs). 

I really did intend it as a public service announcement, *not* a scare story.  I hope you'll consider it even if you have a deep aversion to such things.  Here are some tips to make your gyno-health-ventures more tolerable:

Before making the appointment:
  • Do your homework.  Get a friend's recommendation, look on Yelp, and/or contact your local LGBT center for a list of queer-friendly docs.
  • If you're reallyreallyreally nervous, you may want to make an appointment to meet the OBGYN ahead of time.  That way if you dislike the person or feel that he or she isn't queer-friendly, you're not obligated to come back.  If the doctor refuses or wants to charge you for a five-minute intro, call a different doctor.

While making the appointment:
  • If you have a preference for a man or a woman OBGYN, say so.  It's a very common request, so don't feel like you're being a pain.
  • Say something like, "I need a gay-friendly doctor who's been trained in lesbian health."  Whether you need the expertise isn't the point; you want someone who won't flinch at your stunning butch-osity.
  • Book a morning appointment.  This way you'll be fresh from the shower--giving you one less thing to think about.

A week before the appointment:


  • Arrange to bring a friend if it will make you more comfortable.  They can come in with you, wait in the waiting room, whatever you want.
  • Make a note of when your last period was, how regular it's been, any problems you've been having, questions you have, etc.  This way, you'll have it right in front of you when you're asked.

The day of the appointment:


  • Wear shoes that are easy to slip on and off, as well as clothes that aren't too much of a pain to change into and out of.
  • If it will make you feel better, shave your legs and butch-scape your nether-regions.  (But they've seen it all, so you seriously have nothing to worry about.  I never do anything different from normal.)
  • Your feet will be up in stirrups, basically in the doc's face.  If you have stinky feet or something, deal with them ahead of time.

At the appointment:
  • If you want, ask to see the doc with your clothing on first.  Sometimes it's easier to meet on "equal" footing, (i.e. when you're not wearing a teensy robe).
  • If it's your first time, or you aren't used to--uh--much in-and-out traffic, tell the doctor immediately to use the smallest speculum (pronounced SPECK-you-lum) possible.  This will make it far less likely to hurt.
  • Remember that you are in charge.  It is your body and your appointment, even though it may not always feel this way.  Even as I toughed it out with DSM yesterday, I knew that I could call it off any time I wanted to, which made me feel a little more empowered.

Any other tips I'm missing?  Please add them in the comments!
                                

                   That's a speculum. ---->

Guess where it goes.  Wouldn't you prefer a small one?
Picture
14 Comments
HAUTEBUTCH link
2/27/2013 02:49:57 am

This is very useful information for something that all women, no matter their race, class, or sexucal orientation, needs to know. I would add that when you find a great gynecologist, you should hold on for dear life! :-)

Reply
Lindsey
2/27/2013 12:08:11 pm

And tell your friends! Great doctors deserve recognition, and your friends deserve to see a doc who really knows what it's about.

Reply
Jan
2/28/2013 06:20:11 am

AUGH! Raising hand as the worst gyno-health-venture goer ever! Three times in the last 19 years. Yes I am going this year because I have the Best Dr in Alberta now!

Reply
Caughtinyoureyes
2/28/2013 06:54:20 am

Just sayin' as a Health teacher this is one of those "must do" events in your life once you are sexually active. That is for younger women who have begun their sex life and also true for older women, whether you engage in penetration or not!

Reply
FemOutLoud link
3/1/2013 07:58:04 am

This is, in its own way, as courageous a bit of writing as your previous post on the topic. And, I say that with genuine respect; it occurred to me to respond with a linked post on my own blog, to share one femme's most recent experience. I got as far as opening the page to type ... and realized I'm just not quite willing to put that out there after all. So the least I can do is drop by here and give you some major kudos for having what it takes to speak out on such a topic. Let me add a gold star stamp to your butch card, or something like that. ;)

Reply
Sandra
3/10/2013 06:35:08 am

Thanks so much for this post. Important topic! I feel compelled to put in my two cents here. I am a midwife and nurse practitioner, and I have to say that you're not alone in your hatred for getting your annual exam and pap smear! I've never had a woman say to me, "Gosh, I just love coming here! I always look forward to my pap smear every year!" So, just know that it's no one's favorite activity, and it's one of those uncomfortable but necessary parts of being a woman.
BUT . . . it doesn't have to suck and it doesn't have to be something you dread! You can have respectful, competent, gentle, culturally-sensitive care. I used to to work at Planned Parenthood, and patients told me all the time that their visit with me was the first time that they didn't hate the experience AND the first time that they didn't feel any pain during the exam. When I worked there, I received periodic training in understanding and addressing the specific health concerns of LGBTQ patients - this is so important! Planned Parenthood is a wonderful, accepting, welcoming resource. Please seek it out if you live near one - it's not just for abortions. PP clinics offer full-scope gynecological care and screening. Most are staffed completely by women, and most of the providers are nurse practitioners or midwives. So, check it out the next time you need an annual exam, pap smear, breast exam, UTI check, or are having a problem with your menstrual cycle. If you don't live near a PP clinic, look up the midwives and/or nurse practitioners in your area. Most midwives offer gynecological care in addition to maternity care, and can do most aspects of primary care as well. I certainly can't speak for all, but most of the midwives I know are much more open, accepting, and interested in providing culturally sensitive care than doctors, so you won't get someone that arches their eyebrows or asks stupid, irrelevant questions when you express your sexual orientation.
Don't settle for anything less than 100% respectful and appropriate care! Find someone who understands and addresses your specific health needs. It is important to get those bits checked out, so don't settle for an experience that you dread and hate! There are providers out there that can make an admittedly uncomfortable experience into a positive and educational one. You may not love doing it, but at least you won't HATE it!

Reply
Sarah Smith link
5/5/2016 01:00:13 pm

I'm recently pregnant and am trying to find an obstetrician to help me out. It's comforting to know that I can request things of the doctor to make me feel more comfortable. I'll have to take your advise and do a morning appointment. Thanks for helping me out!

Reply
Kayla J link
11/16/2017 08:09:22 pm

That is awesome Sara, definitely take their advice!

Reply
Bram link
11/6/2018 04:22:06 pm

I really appreciate that tip about meeting with the OBGYN ahead of time. For some that could really help them get more comfortable. I will have to do that for my daughter.

Reply
steele honda link
4/5/2019 07:31:42 pm

Thanks for pointing out that when you have a gynecologist appointment it can be a good idea to arrange to bring a friend if it will make you more comfortable. I think that this would especially good if it was your first time visiting the gynecologist since it can make people kind of nervous. I also think that it would be smart to bring a friend that has gone before so that they can help prep you for what's going to happen and just so you can have someone to talk to while you're waiting.

Reply
Daphne Gilpin link
4/23/2019 12:03:18 pm

Thanks for saying that we shouldn't be afraid to ask for either a man or woman, since it's a common request. I need to find a new gynecologist because my husband and I moved to a new state recently. I'm glad I read your article because now I feel more comfortable about making an appointment.

Reply
Angela Waterford link
7/2/2019 04:03:03 am

Thanks for the tip that I should do my homework if I'm going to go to an OB/GYN. I think I'll make sure to make an appointment the OB/GYN as ahead of time as well. Maybe a morning appointment would be good so that I can rest all day after the appointment.

Reply
Skyler Williams link
7/31/2019 10:21:51 am

Thank you for your tip to ask to use the smallest speculum first. I have been thinking about visiting my gynaecologist soon and I am quite nervous about it since it has been a while. I will make sure to keep your tip in mind as I go to my gynaecologist.

Reply
Randy Chorvack link
10/28/2019 08:43:30 am

My wife is going to a new gynaecologist and she's nervous so I'm trying to help her. I liked the tip about doing your homework before you go. I'll make sure to go to the website of the one she chose so I can know everything that I should.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    TWITTER
    FACEBOOK
    INSTAGRAM
    EMAIL ME
    Picture


    ​Blogs I Like

    A Butch in the Kitchen
    A Stranger in This Place
    Bookish Butch
    Butch on Tap
    Card Carrying Lesbian
    ​
    Chapstick Femme

    Effing Dykes
    Feral Librarian
    Lawyers, Dykes, and Money

    Mainely Butch
    Neutrois Nonsense
    Pretty Butch
       

    Categories (NOT up to date...  working on it)

    All
    Accessories
    Adventures
    Advice
    Bisexuality
    Blogging
    Books
    Butch Identity
    Cars
    Clothes
    Coming Out
    Community
    Dating
    Family
    Fashion
    Female Masculinity
    Fiction
    Friends
    Gaydar
    Gender
    Girlfriends
    Guest Posts
    Hair
    Health
    Humor
    Husbands
    Identity
    Interviews
    Intro
    Lgbt Community
    Lgbt Law
    Lgbt Relationships
    Lists
    Marriage
    Media
    Politics
    Polls
    Pride
    Pride Project
    Readers
    Relationships
    Religion
    Reviews
    Search Terms
    Shopping
    Silliness
    Social Change
    Ties
    Trans
    Work


    Archives

    May 2019
    February 2019
    September 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    March 2018
    November 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    April 2017
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011
    June 2011
    May 2011

    RSS Feed

 
  • Blog
  • Butch Store: Genderqueer Us
  • About
  • Contact