The Month's Best Search Terms

While most of you initially find Butch Wonders through Facebook or StumbleUpon, some folks happen in via Google search terms, some of which were particularly excellent this month.  I'll share my favorite 20 or so:

• "did you wax your beard today" (The really odd part is that three different people searched for this and landed on my site.)
• "i think some people are supposed to be gay" (Yeah, me too.)
• "my older sister made me lesbian"  (Highly doubtful.)
• "annoyed by straight people"  (I understand.  But try to respect their chosen lifestyle even if you find it sinful and/or disgusting.) 
• "logical thinking do you have a dog? no. that means you're gay"  (I love that this is basically the antithesis of logical thought.)
• "butch the water guy" (Apparently there is actually some dude in Phoenix who uses this as the slogan for his business.)
• "do girls think butches are hot"  (Yes.  No exceptions.)
  
• "is it weird to have a gay man hug you"  (No.  It's like looking over a gorgeous mountain pass while tasting brown sugar and getting a head massage.)
  
• "does wearing combat boots make me a lesbian"  (Indeed, this is one of our most popular conversion strategies.)
• "straight women becomes butch after transformation videos"  (Yeah, if the combat boots method doesn't work, the videos are our next best option.)
  
• "ethos in the story pet milk by stuart"  (You're referencing "Pet Milk" by Stuart Dybek, which happens to be one of my favorite stories.  It was originally published in the New Yorker in 1984, and anthologized in Dybek's excellent collection, The Coast of Chicago.  I don't love using ethos/pathos/logos to deconstruct fiction, but it can be of some use.  Check out this link.  Ethos basically means character and believability.  Who is the main character?  Is he "real" to you?  Why?  What flaws does he have?  How do these things interact with pathos and logos?  My larger question is this: assuming your teacher made it clear what "ethos" means, why are you googling this?  The story is only four damned pages long.  Get off the Internet.  Read the story and write what you think.  Jeez.)
  
• "where can i find a lesbian to advise me on writing a lesbian character?"  Look no further!  Email me!)
  
• "hot dog homosexualfinger party.com"  (What?!)
  
• "girls tie guys up and put makeup on them"  (Wow, those heteros have some odd rituals.)
  
• "start wearing makeup in grad school"  (Only if I'm tied up, or all the time?)
  
• "does hugging another guy mean that you are homosexual"  (Yes, it does.)
  
• "how do i find a gay guy"  (At the end of the rainbow.) 
  
• "heterosexual woman suddenly interested in women" (Methinks heterosexual woman suddenly not so heterosexual.)
  
• "how do you numbers general"  (I generally 16 but sometimes I 132.  How do you numbers general?)
  
• "do lesbians try to persuade bisexual women to be lesbian"  (Yes.  But usually we can just trick them into wearing combat boots or watching a transformation video.)