I've been warming up to the idea of writing a post about what it was like to come out while married to a guy. While I am not quite ready for that post yet, I thought it might be fun to share some red flags (or, well, rainbow flags) I now see as clues that I was a big ol' lesbo. My DXH says that the only characteristic that gave him pause was my habit of keeping my wallet in my left rear pocket, and when I was about to pay for something, reaching back with my left hand and whipping the wallet out of my pocket, “like a guy.”
I have a friend who came out while married to a woman. Now he lives with his partner in the Bay Area, and collects little Wedgwood dish sets from the "Peter Rabbit" collection. I told him that the collection had to be his gayest characteristic. It turns out that he began building his collection while he was married. If you can believe it, she didn't suspect a thing! While my DXH and I might not have been quite that clueless, in retrospect we can both see many characteristics that were… perhaps a tad dykey.
Were there any bright rainbow "flags" in your life before you came out?
8/28/2011 05:35:27 am
My rainbow signals were as follows:
8/28/2011 05:36:02 am
I was also married when I came out and when I told my best college friend, he said, "Oh, so that's why you married DXH."
1. I always played football with the boys in elementary school.
8/28/2011 05:59:51 am
Oh, so many things that somehow never tipped me off...
8/28/2011 07:10:09 am
Almost every thing on this list is me, I kid you not!
8/28/2011 07:14:20 am
8/28/2011 08:33:06 am
i did not ask to play the dad it was assigned to me.
8/28/2011 09:24:41 am
Loved this post...although some of it seems more like, "how come I didn't realize I was butch" than just a lesbian....More on the femme spectrum here...
8/28/2011 08:38:21 pm
The only person who was shocked by my coming out was my second oldest brother, and that was because he was living out of state.
8/31/2011 08:59:32 pm
1) I used to throw a tantrum every time my mom tried to put me in a dress. (few pics of me in a dress, I looked like I was ready to really hurt someone)
1) All my ex-boyfriends are gay.
9/2/2011 02:31:58 am
1) My first boyfriend wanted to have sex with me (I was 16.) I was absolutely confused as to why he'd want to do that. When he told me that sexing male partners isn't abnormal, I balked and replied, "But...your dick would have to go inside me!"
10/3/2011 05:18:28 pm
At first, I couldn't tell if you were kidding about some of the stuff on your list. Not that I thought you made them up, but that you thought they were indicators. But after reading some other comments, I can see there were similar things from other people they felt were clearly indicators - some of which I wouldn't necessarily peg as such. I'm commenting on it partly because my heart aches for kids who become conscious of feeling different and partly because I think some of the things are shared by a wider spectrum of kids. I felt the same way about a number of things growing up, but I never questioned my sexuality (hetero) because of them. Like, I never wanted to wear dresses or feminine things, either. Barbies were not my favorite childhood toy (tho I didn't turn my nose up at them). I always loved sports, unlike most girls I knew before high school. I hated purses, too. Still do, though I have to put things somewhere and a messenger bag isn't always the best option. I was quite a bit naive and socially awkward through my 20s.
7/29/2013 06:02:46 am
I know what you mean, Kelly.
10/13/2011 04:07:21 pm
hahaha, this post is like looking in a mirror. 14 especially -- gay sex was hot, straight sex meh/okay, but lesbian sex: INCREDIBLY GROSS.
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