What Sex Ed Should Be Like

I don't remember much about my sex ed class.  I attended a handful of different elementary and middle schools, and I remember: (1) the girls being separated from the boys; (2) being shown some kind of cartoon about sperm and eggs; (3) our PE teacher telling us we needed to use deodorant from now on.  I also remember leaving the sex ed video being suddenly unsure about whether sex was what made babies.  I had thought so going into it, but the movie hadn't said anything about sex, and the animated version of fertilization seemed pretty divorced from two people doing it.

There was, of course, nothing at all about homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender identity or expression.  The curriculum basically assumed that when girls grew up and got boobs, they would suddenly be interested in boys, dresses, and makeup.  Growing up meant a continued separation of the sexes, and it meant that girls and boys couldn't really be friends after puberty.  If you were a "tomboy," you'd grow out of it.  Even if the curriculum had included something about homosexuality, the culture in the various working-class suburbs from which I hail would have never allowed it to be taken seriously.  If anyone had "come out" in my high school or middle school, they'd have been ostracized and probably beaten to a pulp.

I know that some schools still teach sex ed basically this way, and in other schools it's way more progressive.  I was super heartened to stumble on a blog post written earlier this year that translates part of a pamphlet that Dutch girls are given.  I was floored by how incredibly progressive and awesome and inclusive it was.  Here's my favorite part:

Take the time to figure it out! Are you uncertain whether you’re lesbian? That’s perfectly natural. Often, you’ll know after puberty what you are exactly. In any case, try to enjoy it if you fall in love, whether it’s with a girl or a boy.

Wait, what?  Seriously?  No big deal either way?  Love is love; just enjoy it?  Can you imagine having been given something like this when you were a kid? Would it have mattered?  And can any of my younger readers talk about what sex ed is like in the U.S. these days?

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