Last week, I returned to the age-old question of what butches should wear to interviews. In a short poll, I posed the following hypothetical: Imagine helping a butch lesbian decide what to wear for an entry-level professional interview (e.g., lawyer, consultant, finance, manager, gov't, professor, etc.). She usually wears men's clothes, but identifies and presents as female, though people sometimes accidentally call her "sir." She tells you, "I know the employers are kind of conservative, though I also know things are slowly changing. I'm a solid candidate but not a shoe-in. What should I wear? I gave six choices and asked how to advise our butch professional wannabe: #1: Fit in first, THEN change the system. Wear what other women there wear: makeup, heels, whatever you have to. #2: Be yourself, but show you're willing to play the game. Wear only the women's stuff you're most comfortable in--skip the makeup and heels! #3: Wear a combo to help you fit in a little--e.g., a plain women's suit, collared shirt, men's shoes. #4: You like men's clothes; wear a men's suit and shirt and shoes, but no tie or other uber-masculine gear that'd alienate you from your interviewers. #5: Men's clothes, including a tie. If they don't want you, you don't want to work there. If you can't get a job in the industry, it's not for you! #6: As long as you wear something nice, clean, etc., it doesn't matter. People judge you for who you are, not what you wear. Here are the results: As you can see, I also calculated the average age for each response. For a small survey, these age differences don't matter much, and goodness knows this isn't anything close to a representative sample (of the population overall, of butches, or even of BW readers), but it's interesting to think about. A few numbers that caught my eye, and possible explanations:
And finally, here's a sampling of the write-in comments: Thanks for these great thoughts. If you're trying to figure out how to break into the profession you want without compromising who you are, you are certainly not alone.
10 Comments
Jan Angus
6/17/2014 09:05:31 am
Yes, be BUTCH and PROUD! Closetting is too damaging overall to our mental health.
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Gigi
6/17/2014 12:27:58 pm
Dude, it is not being "closeted" to not wear a tie. It's not like people can't tell we're masculine lesbians already. Why would you risk NOT getting a job by wearing a tie? I don't believe all the crap about, if they don't want you, you wouldn't want to work there anyway. It's not fair for us to stay out of certain industries. I say fly under the radar and then INFILTRATE.
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Johnny
6/17/2014 09:11:40 pm
As a late twenties butch teacher I've often asked myself this question - especially at times when I was getting started and couldn't afford to get things properly tailored or splash out on interview clothes that were more expensive.
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Mel
6/25/2014 07:43:44 am
As an elementary school teacher, I truly do understand your plight. I too struggle with dressing less than I'd normally dress so that I don't alienate my co-workers. My district wears uniforms so I normally stick to pools and chinos without much fuss. Still I would love to dress as I do on the weekends and at social functions.
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I understand all of your points of view very well. Everyone has to dress for what they believe will bring them the most success. There's no one good answer here. However, I run 2 businesses of my own and I dress however I want. But, I have to be careful with the clients and how they perceive me. It isn't just dressing for the job, one dresses for the clients that come with that job. I notice immediately how differently I am treated when I dress butch as opposed to a more femme version of myself. I honestly garner more respect as a butch, not only from men, but women too. It also all helps if you live in a more progressive state where people don't have such narrow mindsets. Good luck to all my fellow butches. Keep doing what you're doing and we will one day all be dressing as we see fit, and no one will care.
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I'm a pre-op guy still legally seen as female, and I am unemployed because I am seen as a visibly queer woman instead of a gender-conforming guy. Until I can find a specialist (there are none locally where I live) that can help me transition and get my papers changed, I am in the same bucket as every butch woman out there: do I dress in drag (for me, anyways), or dress professionally? (Trust me, I identified as tomboy or butch for over 15 years, so I think I have an inkling of an idea of what butches encounter. Unfortunately, dressing in female garment causes panic attacks.)
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Amy
6/18/2014 12:04:08 am
I'll preface everything I'm about to say with: I'm very fortunate in that I work in academia, in the Humanities. I'm very aware that this work environment is, very generally speaking, more likely to be accepting of 'non-conformist' attitudes, queerness, etc., than many other workplaces and sectors...
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cc
6/18/2014 05:00:34 am
I think your idea of the younger generation feeling like we have to fit in more is true in some cases. While I wouldn't wear all women's clothing that I'm not comfortable in to a job, I still feel like my identity is shaky because it isn't something that I've lived with that long. While I am incredibly confident in who I am and know my identity, I still am getting used to not being what people expect from me. I also dress much less masculine in general (I work primarily in a swim suit so I don't think it counts for this ;) because I live around so many people who knew me when I was younger and more feminine and it is hard to break away from their expectations/it takes a lot of confidence that I don't always have to do that.
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feistyamazon
7/4/2014 02:11:44 am
I go for the male clothes option sans tie. Now I am living in a conservative part of the country no longer the Bay Area..sadly...but even so I usually wear slacks..never jeans...my black Ben Davis pants or other pristine dress pants and a long sleeve button up.mens shirt and sone of my jewelry.
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Christina Pabers
12/12/2020 07:13:45 pm
I'm looking for a personal wardrobe consultant for my partner
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