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What Should Butches Wear to Job Interviews?

6/17/2014

10 Comments

 
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Last week, I returned to the age-old question of what butches should wear to interviews.  In a short poll, I posed the following hypothetical:

Imagine helping a butch lesbian decide what to wear for an entry-level professional interview (e.g., lawyer, consultant, finance, manager, gov't, professor, etc.). She usually wears men's clothes, but identifies and presents as female, though people sometimes accidentally call her "sir." She tells you, "I know the employers are kind of conservative, though I also know things are slowly changing. I'm a solid candidate but not a shoe-in. What should I wear?

PictureJulie Goldman, rocking #4
I gave six choices and asked how to advise our butch professional wannabe:
#1: Fit in first, THEN change the system. Wear what other women there wear: makeup, heels, whatever you have to.
#2: Be yourself, but show you're willing to play the game. Wear only the women's stuff you're most comfortable in--skip the makeup and heels!
#3: Wear a combo to help you fit in a little--e.g., a plain women's suit, collared shirt, men's shoes.
#4: You like men's clothes; wear a men's suit and shirt and shoes, but no tie or other uber-masculine gear that'd alienate you from your interviewers.
#5: Men's clothes, including a tie. If they don't want you, you don't want to work there. If you can't get a job in the industry, it's not for you!
#6: As long as you wear something nice, clean, etc., it doesn't matter. People judge you for who you are, not what you wear.

Here are the results:

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As you can see, I also calculated the average age for each response. 
For a small survey, these age differences don't matter much, and goodness knows this isn't anything close to a representative sample (of the population overall, of butches, or even of BW readers), but it's interesting to think about. 

A few numbers that caught my eye, and possible explanations:
  • The very youngest group gave what we might think of as the most "conservative" answer--wear all women's clothes, but only clothes in which you can be comfortable.  This surprised me, but then I thought that perhaps younger folks haven't been out long enough, and thus feel like they have to fit in more.  Or perhaps they're more aware of new, androgynous clothing that's technically "women's."  Not sure.  I do suspect, though, that in the general (mostly straight) population, it would be the older folks who think answer #2 makes the most sense. Hm, maybe I should survey them and find out.
  • None of you thought that going in "full drag" (lipstick, heels, etc.) was the best option, which made me smile.
  • For the most part, the spread of ages was pretty even for each answer--except one.  Answer #6 (that people judge you for who you are, not what you wear) was mostly given by people at the ends of the age spectrum--those in their 20s and those in their 50s.  Almost no 30- or 40-somethings gave this answer.  Cynically, I thought: the younger ones are still naive, and the older ones care less about fashion.  But maybe I'm wrong about all of this!

And finally, here's a sampling of the write-in comments:
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Thanks for these great thoughts.  If you're trying to figure out how to break into the profession you want without compromising who you are, you are certainly not alone.
10 Comments
Jan Angus
6/17/2014 09:05:31 am

Yes, be BUTCH and PROUD! Closetting is too damaging overall to our mental health.

Reply
Gigi
6/17/2014 12:27:58 pm

Dude, it is not being "closeted" to not wear a tie. It's not like people can't tell we're masculine lesbians already. Why would you risk NOT getting a job by wearing a tie? I don't believe all the crap about, if they don't want you, you wouldn't want to work there anyway. It's not fair for us to stay out of certain industries. I say fly under the radar and then INFILTRATE.

Reply
Johnny
6/17/2014 09:11:40 pm

As a late twenties butch teacher I've often asked myself this question - especially at times when I was getting started and couldn't afford to get things properly tailored or splash out on interview clothes that were more expensive.

I usually go with the mens clothes but not overt option. dark coloured chinos that fit well, nice brogues (not too pointy or big), a good shirt buttoned up and maybe a v neck sweater or untailored casual suit jacket (no shoulder pads!).I've had some comments in the past, but generally I think it's accepted. I often have neatly buzzcut short back and sides, but often let it grow a bit longer (just a few weeks growth) before I go for the interview just to give a slightly softer look. I use block colours/dark ones and believe that gives the impression of being fun (allowing me to get away with being 'a little eccentric') but the dark colours still give me serious/proffesional edge.

In fact in my experience colours and fabrics can play into it a lot. Reds/blues/blacks feel like they are seen as more business like and plain (more likely to fly under the radar). Wearing the same pair of chinos in a brown, or coloured cords or tweed (which I think quite a few men would get away with in the workplace) has triggered bad responses more and I've been seen as scruffy more quickly then men do.

I rarely try to wear a tie or proper suit as I know that immediately it would alienate my colleagues (especially as a bigger person). I find that sad as I would love on occassion to be as smart as most of the men I work with, but I know that by not doing it I allow my colleagues to still see me as 'one of the girls, albeit very tomboyish', rather than as a crossdresser. Perhaps this is compensated for by the fact that probably quite a few guys would love an excuse to not have to wear a suit and tie for a day!

The worst part about it has been when some people have commented on my dress. At interview they can take it or leave it, but once in the workplace (or when seconded to elsewhere as part of my job), it can happen. It's made those who have spoken to me about it more awkward than myself; but it's still horrible. It has long been my desire to raise awareness of the genderedness of workplace clothing and to see a day when it's more accepted - I feel like there are plenty of people (including my mother) who see even the most smartly dressed butch in a suit as a scruffy girl, rather than a dapper gent.

Reply
Mel
6/25/2014 07:43:44 am

As an elementary school teacher, I truly do understand your plight. I too struggle with dressing less than I'd normally dress so that I don't alienate my co-workers. My district wears uniforms so I normally stick to pools and chinos without much fuss. Still I would love to dress as I do on the weekends and at social functions.

Reply
Shae link
6/17/2014 09:34:24 pm

I understand all of your points of view very well. Everyone has to dress for what they believe will bring them the most success. There's no one good answer here. However, I run 2 businesses of my own and I dress however I want. But, I have to be careful with the clients and how they perceive me. It isn't just dressing for the job, one dresses for the clients that come with that job. I notice immediately how differently I am treated when I dress butch as opposed to a more femme version of myself. I honestly garner more respect as a butch, not only from men, but women too. It also all helps if you live in a more progressive state where people don't have such narrow mindsets. Good luck to all my fellow butches. Keep doing what you're doing and we will one day all be dressing as we see fit, and no one will care.

Reply
Charles link
6/17/2014 11:42:07 pm

I'm a pre-op guy still legally seen as female, and I am unemployed because I am seen as a visibly queer woman instead of a gender-conforming guy. Until I can find a specialist (there are none locally where I live) that can help me transition and get my papers changed, I am in the same bucket as every butch woman out there: do I dress in drag (for me, anyways), or dress professionally? (Trust me, I identified as tomboy or butch for over 15 years, so I think I have an inkling of an idea of what butches encounter. Unfortunately, dressing in female garment causes panic attacks.)

Reply
Amy
6/18/2014 12:04:08 am

I'll preface everything I'm about to say with: I'm very fortunate in that I work in academia, in the Humanities. I'm very aware that this work environment is, very generally speaking, more likely to be accepting of 'non-conformist' attitudes, queerness, etc., than many other workplaces and sectors...

I always wear a tie to an interview. I just don't feel dressed for an interview if I don't. In my professional life (ie after part-time jobs while at university etc), I've never felt unfairly treated in an interview because of my masculine expression. I realise I'm very, very fortunate in that.

But I really couldn't go to an interview any other way. What they see is what they get. I don't want to get along in an interview and then freak everyone out on my first day because they're homo/bi/transphobic after all. Academia is all about being able to express ideas. You can hardly do that if you can't express yourself.

What's more, I doubt I'd do well in an interview if I wasn't dressed in a way that was comfortable to me. I look ridiculous in women's clothes! The concept of wearing a blouse is a complete anathema to me! I know I look good and perform well when I feel at ease in my skin. Of course it wasn't always that way, and I was interested in BW's ideas about younger people feeling more of a need to conform. I definitely get that. It's taken a lot of reflection to get to this point. Not to mention a very supportive partner who also gets me and helps me find clothes that fit but also allow for my masculine expression.

Having said all this (and I've said a mouthful), I also realise that it can be difficult to find men's formal/smart interview clothes that work for you. I am quite short and need to wear quite fitted things otherwise I look boxy. So I go for a women's shirt (not blouse!) and suit jacket (it is possible to find masculine/androgynous looking jackets that are in women's sizes, Tweed is a good way to go here). Then men's chinos (can be difficult to incorporate hips etc, but H&M and Gap work well for me). A good tie and a nice pair of brogues and I'm good to go. It also helps a lot that I go for a bookish/tweedy style. It's much harder to find masculine clothes that fit if you're going for conventional office wear.

Reply
cc
6/18/2014 05:00:34 am

I think your idea of the younger generation feeling like we have to fit in more is true in some cases. While I wouldn't wear all women's clothing that I'm not comfortable in to a job, I still feel like my identity is shaky because it isn't something that I've lived with that long. While I am incredibly confident in who I am and know my identity, I still am getting used to not being what people expect from me. I also dress much less masculine in general (I work primarily in a swim suit so I don't think it counts for this ;) because I live around so many people who knew me when I was younger and more feminine and it is hard to break away from their expectations/it takes a lot of confidence that I don't always have to do that.

On the other hand, younger people are growing up in a much more accepting and open environment. Being surrounded by accepting people my age at school has made me much more confident in myself and I think that carries over into the rest of my life and will on into my future, which may make me more confident to dress the way I want no matter what prospective employers feel. I honestly don't think that I would risk a job so that I could wear a tie, but I definitely know other young butches who feel we should wear whatever we want and if we don't get the job then that isn't somewhere we should work.

Reply
feistyamazon
7/4/2014 02:11:44 am

I go for the male clothes option sans tie. Now I am living in a conservative part of the country no longer the Bay Area..sadly...but even so I usually wear slacks..never jeans...my black Ben Davis pants or other pristine dress pants and a long sleeve button up.mens shirt and sone of my jewelry.

I no longer have women's clothes..they don't fit and over the years I slowly got them all out of my wardrobe over the years and only buy in the big men's section/stores.also since I've mostly been in construction/industrial type work the rules are more casual. But it's worked for me. Neither "in your face, nor compromising" but I've been out and sure in my identity 30 plus years...

Reply
Christina Pabers
12/12/2020 07:13:45 pm

I'm looking for a personal wardrobe consultant for my partner

Reply



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