Who IS Butch Wonders?
Me, headed to a bachelorette party
Recently it feels like people have been writing with more and more questions about me and my blog. I thought I'd answer a few of them today as best I can. Here are some that I've received from readers over the past couple of months:
Q: Why did you start BW?
A: I didn't think there were enough websites out there for women like me: lesbians toward the masculine end of the spectrum. I was unsure what to wear, what etiquette was like in certain situations, and whether other people were interested in the same kinds of discussions around identity that I am.
Q: How many hits do you get every day?
A: It varies. In the last month, my highest has been just over 3000 and my lowest has been 1000. On days I post something decent, 1500 or so.
Q: How does the traffic you get compare to other lesbian blogs?
A: I have no idea.
Q: Who's your staff?
A: My "staff??" It's just me, sitting in my living room with my dog and a cup of coffee, typing into cyberspace and hoping someone will read it.
Q: Do you make a lot of money writing Butch Wonders?
A: I've spent about $700 on site costs over the last year. And through the Butch Store and selling occasional ads, I've made maybe $300 total. So, still in the hole. I never envisioned this as a business, though, so that's okay (though it would rock to get paid for doing something I love so much!).
Q: Why do you keep the blog anonymous?
A: This has been a hard decision. The short answer is: my job. My supervisor told me my chances for advancement could be harmed by this kind of outside writing. So I'm on the DL (as BW, not as a lesbian!) because I think I can do more good by advancing in my career first and coming out as BW second. But I struggle with this. Plus, I'd love to make videos for you, and right now, all I can do is appear on the radio (which, I hope, is happening again soon--stay tuned).
Q: So does anyone know that you write this?
A: Yep. Mainly family members and close friends. A few professional contacts. And one or two folks who wanted me to write for them and needed to verify that I'm really the thirty-something dyke I claim to be (I am, though arguably more nerdy than sometimes represented here). ;)
Q: Is it true that you used to be married to a guy?
A: Yes. You can read about it in several entries. Check out my Index of Topics, under "Married to a Man."
Q: Aren't you limiting yourself by writing this for butches rather than for all lesbians?
A: Sure. But a lot of the issues I'm interested in apply mostly to masculine-of-center women. I didn't want to write about suits and ties and then claim to be a "lesbian" blog, since plenty of lesbians aren't the tie-wearing type.
Q: Do you have a girlfriend? Is she butch or femme?
A: I do! I refer to her as my DGF (dear girlfriend) on the blog. She identifies as neither butch nor femme, and mostly eschews labels (I really want her to write a post about this sometime). I suspect that most people consider her butch or soft butch, and that many people in the community would consider us a butch-butch couple (so do I, most of the time).
Q: Why don't you write a column for Curve?
A: I pitched it to them, but they never got back to me. I followed up: still no response. So at the moment, I'm not a columnist for anyone. Need a columnist? Email me!
Q: Where do you live?
A: I'm going to stick with the whole anonymity thing and not say. But I will say that I'm in a rural area that's very close to a large urban area. I think this provides a nice balance for me, though it does mean that I burn more gas than I'd prefer to.
Okay, dear readers--that will do for now. Got any other questions for me?
8/20/2012 10:55:46 am
Hi from Brisbane, Australia !! :) I love BW... I identify as femme, and have a total love for butch/boi women... I love the way that you express yourself :) Thank you for being so awesome!! DGF is a very lucky lady :)
10/12/2012 12:50:22 pm
Thank you!! [blushes]
8/21/2012 04:06:49 am
i like your blog the way its, like the way you write about things that matter to us the lesbians its better than any other Lesbian's shows or series when things are perfect always ,, so keep it up friend :)
8/21/2012 10:17:55 am
American, with a fetish for Canadian comedians.
8/22/2012 12:28:18 am
I love your blog and I love you as in I LOVE YOU MAN! Did you see that movie? http://www.iloveyouman.com/
10/12/2012 12:46:27 pm
I love you too, man! *fist bump* BW
8/27/2012 04:43:48 am
I would like to say that so far I read 2 posts and I am hooked. :-)
9/11/2012 10:37:12 am
Hey B.W. Just wanted to say, still lovin it...even after all these months *he he he*. I wonder if you realize how awesome you're blog is? Seriously nothing out here comes even close. I love that you're just a regular down to earth butch with style and smarts without all the *yawwwnnn* machismo. The showing off get's really old. And for the best compliment... in the real world, I think we would be friends. :) Peace out.
9/17/2012 05:19:34 am
Aw, shucks. That's awesome, Catmo--thanks for the note. :) You made my day. I think we *should* be friends!
9/21/2012 10:55:20 am
Love your blog. It's a great read for me. I know that you aren't an expert, but how common would you say it is for butch-butch relationships? I myself am butch and am attracted to someone more on the butch side of the scale than the femme side, but my friends find that odd.
9/21/2012 01:07:33 pm
Thanks for asking! I'd say it's not *super* common, but it definitely happens more often than some people think. Here are some posts I wrote about the topic:
9/21/2012 05:16:15 pm
Thanks! I appreciate it. I can't think of any other questions other than how in the world do you find other glbt folks in smaller college towns in the South? lol I just moved for grad school and it is a bit depressing to leave behind my lesbian community of friends and not have that community here yet.
10/12/2012 12:47:51 pm
@Katie: This is a really great question. I'm going to think about it and maybe answer it in a future post.
10/6/2012 07:31:34 am
10/12/2012 12:49:39 pm
Thank you, WWG! I really appreciate that you read the blog (especially since you're not a butch yourself!). Thanks. :)
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