Willpower: What Would You Do in a Month?

8/4/2012

The convergence of two things I was reading today led me to this post:

An older post over at The Feral Librarian, in which that blogger responded to a question I asked her: if you had one month + unlimited money, what would you do to improve your institution's library?
The book The Willpower Instinct, by Kelly McGonigal, which is about the science of willpower, and what we can do to increase our willpower. (I'm only a few dozen pages into the book--it's great so far.)

So I started wondering: if I had unlimited willpower, what would I do with my life this month? How would it look different from the way it looks now? What things would I do, not do, start, or finish?

According to McGonigal, most people struggle with willpower. I know I do. She invites readers to pick a particular "willpower challenge" of one of the following types:

An "I won't"-power challenge: Something you want to challenge yourself not to do--e.g., avoiding one-night stands, not spending any more money to build your bowtie collection, or not doing lines of coke off dirty toilet seats on weekdays.
An "I will"-power challenge: A habit or practice you want to do--e.g., pay your bills on time, work on your home knitting projects for at least an hour each day, or learn to tie a new tie knot each week.
An "I want"-power challenge: A long term big goal you want to achieve, or big project you want to complete--e.g., go to Zanzibar, lose 200 pounds, or pitch a guest post for Butch Wonders.

Then she suggests various ways to help meet these challenges. In Chapter One, for example, she advises being uber-vigilant about when you are making a choice--even to the point of carrying a notebook and writing it down. Why? Because we often aren't aware that we're making decisions at all. It turns out that if you ask people in the abstract, "How many decisions do you make about food/eating daily?" they guess about 14. But then if they actually count these decisions, it ends up being over 200! The idea is to get acquainted with how the decision-making moment feels, whether it's the urge to check your email or the urge to order those hot Converse from Zappos.

That brings me to my question for you: if you had one month and unlimited willpower, what would you do in that month? What "I will"/"I won't"/"I want" challenges would you take on? These aren't rhetorical questions--I really want to know! You show me yours and I'll show you mine...

8 Comments

Nina Potts link

8/4/2012 08:40:15 pm

I read this article a few days ago on the New York Times (Its 9 pages, but well worth the read). I originally was interested in the main topic, about how companies are becoming almost psychic about what we want/need and our habits.

What I really enjoyed and really made me look at the things I do every day is the study about routines. It studied rats, then people. It shows how we subconsciously do a few hundred routines every day, and breaking out of some of those, or keeping track of them are ways to change our lives. When you have a routine its a habit, you do the same thing in the same way, most times you don't even remember doing all of it, because you're on autopilot. I think this will help with your goals for this month, along with the info from the book you're reading.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/19/magazine/shopping-habits.html?pagewanted=all

8/5/2012 02:24:27 am

Glad you posted this. This is exactly the sort of thing someone like me needs in her life. By someone like me, I mean the person of tremendous "potential," with so many talents and so many opportunities to try to build on those talents, yet who has fallen short due to a lack of---call it "willpower," if you will. Others might call it different things, but whatever it is, I know I am sorely in need of it.

I'm going to check out that book. A lot of the things I need to muster the "willpower" to do are actually also things I need "courage" to confront. I have a powerful fear of failure, possibly because success-- both academic, special talent/performance-related, and interpersonal communications-related---has always come easily to me, from a young age. The first time I "failed" (for instance, as a teen, not getting the scholarship I applied for), it was a massive blow far out of proportion to what a person might feel if they had been used to a mixture of modest successes and modest rejections.

These "failures" instilled in me a fear of failing again, so even to this day, many years later, I sit around procrastinating, indulging my "have fun now" desires instead of working hard, all so I can avoid failing. You can't fail if you haven't tried, right? Others might see that as a lack of willpower, and I'm sure that has something to do with it (after all, I don't exert myself to go after what I want), but beneath it all is fear.

I need to have the courage to get my act together and exert some "willpower." Thanks for the tips on how to do that.

Shou Shou

8/5/2012 03:41:02 am

I won't... drink so much during the week, deny my self-worth

I will... read more, write more

I want... to launch my blog, finish my script, do theatre!

Hmm. It seems my "want" department is the most crowded. Anyway, this felt like a good opportunity to put these things in writing. And sometimes seeing something written down makes it more serious. Great post, BW. Inspiring and gives one a sense of responsibility.

Kali

8/5/2012 10:55:26 am

A very good question, and one I've actually been thinking about a lot recently. I need more willpower, especially when it comes so sticking to longterm projects. So, I won't keep buying crap on impulse, especially at work. I will keep regularly going to the gym and improving my weights/reps, I want to get all our plans in place for long distance travelling with my girl to go see our international friends. All of it takes more willpower than I probably have, but the important thing is trying, right?

8/5/2012 10:56:42 am

If I had unlimited power for one month, I would become legally recognized as the co-parent of my son and negotiate a custody arrangement with my ex that would keep my son's best interests at the heart of the agreement.

I won't eat any foods containing animal products.

I will develop / improve my retirement savings plan.

I want to meet and make new friends.

8/5/2012 09:26:22 pm

Wow what am important post. One I struggle with on the daily. I find there just isn't enough hours in the day! And my sleep schedule is frankly terrible. I work overnights and still need to go to gym, the store, other chores and have some sort of a social life. I am constantly too tired to get it all done, too hard on myself when it all doesn't get done, and lose more sleep worrying about it. It's a vicious cycle. I desperately need to get out of nights. It's goes against the body's normal circadian rhythm and is proven to shorten one's life span. All around bad business. On top of that I'm trying to start an online business to get OUT of nights and just not enough time! Taking baby steps. Sleep first and foremost. It all starts and ends there for me. More willpower to take better care of myself so I can get more done!

T4Y-DGU

8/8/2012 10:15:56 am

A very important topic... I know very few people who couldn't use more willpower.
AH, it sounds like switching to a day time work schedule would be one of the most important things for you, your health and an all-around better lifestyle. Maybe, even if you are working at night, a good I-will statement would be one that included a certain number of hours of sleep above everything else. No one functions well on too little sleep, no matter when they work.
Willpower, I find, for people who "lack" it, is often about self-empowerment, and the feeling of being able to accomplish your goals and stay on track. Sometimes I think it is not a lack of willpower but bad habits, and those can be VERY hard to break, even when you know changing them would improve your life.
Do you have any close friends who also have bad habits they would like to change? Sometimes having someone working with you can help with accountability until you feel strong and confident in your reinvigorated, recharged, reinforced power of will. If you go to the gym, maybe you have a friend who needs encouragement or a buddy to go to the gym with. This may be an adjustment on your part if you are used to going whenever you want but having a set schedule can be a good thing! In exchange, maybe you could ask them to help you a few times a week by meeting you somewhere for a set amount of time in a setting that is conducive to both of you (if they have something they could work on as well) like a library or a coffee shop or anyplace with internet so you can work and hopefully they could too. Maybe a friend that is in school or also does work online.
If you set your own strict sleep schedule and SCHEDULED time to do other things that are important to you and your health, you potentially could ease your mind in knowing certain things are getting done no matter what while you still have a social life and continue to work on/figure out bigger things (like changing your work hours to day hours). I also find that when I am on a schedule I feel like I have more time because I am not spending so much of it being indecisive, uncommitted and depressed about those things!
As I said in the beginning, I know very few people who feel they have all the willpower they need/want so if you're struggling on your own, reach out to someone who could use the hand, too.
I've been trying years to improve my willpower and to have better time management skills and still leave MUCH to be desired - Don't Give Up!

Heather link

8/7/2012 12:06:55 am

I'm going to pick one of three... that way I can put all my energy into it.

I want...
I want to stop working for the man, and work for myself from home!

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