On a whim last week, I posted a question on my Facebook page: "What do butches do that bugs you?" I invited anyone--butches, non-butches, whoever--to answer, and got over 200 responses from BW readers.
Responses varied, but some distinct themes emerged. (To be clear, I'm not saying that butches have these traits--or that I'm not guilty of any!)
Whether there's truth in any of these is highly debatable. But these are some stereotypes people hold, and I think it's worth knowing about them, engaging with them, and taking them seriously. For example, one straight reader (I LOVE that straight people read BW--you rock, straight readers!) wrote that in contrast to, say, gay men, she finds butches a little intimidating. I was surprised at first--me? But I appreciated her honesty. And although, sure, I wish people didn't assume things about butches based on our appearance, it also reminded me that I might need to go out of my way sometimes to make myself approachable (I'm not suggesting that everyone needs to do this--it just matters to me personally). Do any of these ring true? Can it be productive to talk about them?
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I am sooo stoked! The "Pets & Their Butches" calendar--inspired by YOU all, is finally here. It took, oh, 20 times longer than I expected to make it, but I think it was worth it, and I hope you do, too. I received hundreds of submissions for the calendar--far more than I expected! I couldn't use them all, but congrats to the butches whose photos were chosen (as a monthly photo, or for the front/back cover, or for May or December, which are photo collages)! Special thanks goes to my awesome DGF for making some of these photos much better and higher-res with her amazing Photoshop skills. This is such a cool example of butches coming together to create something awesome. I hope you'll consider getting one. They come in three different sizes. Order two or more and get 50% off with the code 2CALDEALFREE. Alas, Zazzle makes 75% of the profit (if I do this again, I'll look into better options!). But 25% goes to support Butch Wonders--yay!--and after I cover my own costs, I'll be donating 100% of the profits to a local animal shelter. So, what are you waiting for? Go check out the calendar(!), and while you're at it, see if you like any of the other goodies I've created. 'Tis a homosexual pastry! Coming Out Day is awesome for many reasons: 1. It reiterates the importance of visibility. 2. It is an excellent excuse for making and/or consuming rainbow cake. 3. It reminds straight people that their queer friends had to go through a (sometimes excruciating) process of explaining/announcing their sexual and romantic preferences. It also reminds queers that the coming out process, different as it is for each of us, ties us all together. 4. Right before the election, it underscores the civil rights issues at stake. 5. It is an occasion for poetry, tweets, and general tomfoolery. Recently, I challenged BW readers to encapsulate their coming out stories in one of three forms: (1) as a tweet; (2) as a haiku; (3) as a limerick. A bunch of you were up to it, and in honor of Coming Out Day, here are some of my favorites: TWEETS My sister was 59 when she came out. She beat me to it. I came out at 50. Mom: What's wrong? Me: Nothing. Mom: You're in love, aren't you?! With that girl from South Carolina! Me: Yes. Mom: I knew you were gay! I didn't just come out of the closet, I jumped out of the whole effin' house! HAIKU Everyone was great Forgot I hadn't told dad Shocked him in the car! Cue apocalypse! Coming out to my mother. False alarm, she's cool. Collegiate romance. We thought we were so sneaky, but everyone knows. Came out three times now gayboy, transwoman... tomboy enough, already! A snoop I call mom, Danced around the Internet-- Then learned he is she. Finally barking up the right tree of lovin'. In fact, now I purr. LIMERICKS (OK, some of these aren't *technically* limericks, but whatevs) The time to come out was past due. So I sent the IM to you... When I looked at my gaff, We both had a good laugh -- 'Stead of "bi," the message said "bu." We were standing there cooking breakfast, Nothing on but a smile and some skin Then OMG, my mom came walking in No place to run No place to hide had to stand there proudly, showing my rainbow pride. It's enough to demolish the brain How the Transmatriarchy inane Demand Bette and Tina Be the trans girl's Athena... When I only long to be Shane There once was a girl who was always laughing To cover the thoughts she was always having She couldn't make herself aware Even though her dad was a gay bear And being family wasn't nothing but a family thing For 32 years it was men that I liked Stubble and bicepts and d*ck got me psyched Then along came a girl put my head in a whirl And I thought, "holy sh*t, I've been dyked!" i've always been a big butch dyke but when i came out my mom said TAKE A HIKE i was homeless for awhile but all i do now is smile because i have four kids and a beautiful wife! Thanks to all of you awesome readers who submitted these great tweets and poems! (And special congrats to the author of the limerick that begins, "For 32 years it was men that I liked"--you win first place and the cool Gadget Wallet from Uncommon Goods!) Happy Coming Out Day, everyone! National Coming Out Day is coming up on Thursday, and to honor this excellent day of the year, I want coming out stories from you... But not just any coming out stories. I want your coming out story (or the coming out story of someone you know) in one of three formats:
Tweet: As a kid, I couldn't take my eyes off Julie Andrews in "The Sound of Music." My mom knew what was up. I came out at 13 and she didn't blink. Haiku: The dog was nonplussed I came out to him--practice. Parents were less calm. Limerick: You see, I'm a gay boy from China Who then moved to North Carolina When I went to college I soon gained the knowledge That I was repelled by vagina Get the idea? Knock yourselves out. I'll feature the best ones on Butch Wonders Thursday. Anonymous entries are fine. Send as many as you want to me at butchwonders@yahoo.com. Thanks to everyone who responded to the queer college survey I posted a few days ago. Over 60 schools were represented! Most people who responded are in college now or graduated within the last 5-10 years. Today, I'll share the colleges people said were "awesome" for queers:
I was stoked to see the breadth of colleges that provide super atmospheres for queers these days: public, private, and all over the United States! In one of my next posts, I'll share people's experiences on the other end of the spectrum, and I'll also offer some tips for high schoolers on how to find a gay-friendly college. |
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