Here's the third installment of A Field Guide to Butches. Remember: while some butch species are elusive, with patience and determination you can seek out and find them all. via threeimaginarygirls.com The Rocker Butch Example: Chris Pureka Pros: Romantic. Not clingy. Will write you a song for Valentine's Day. Cons: Lots of time on the road. Looks especially good: With her hands on her favorite instrument. Care instructions: Rocker butches tend to be nocturnal, so you'll need to adjust your schedule accordingly. Wash her sweatshirts regularly; she may not do this on her own. When she's on tour, email her some Yelp links to vegetarian restaurants in the podunk town she's playing in to let her know you're thinking of her. Oh--and unless you're on tour with her, make sure her roadie's not too cute. The Granola Butch (not pictured) Commonly found: At womyn's music concerts, Burning Man, miscellaneous small towns in rural western Oregon and rural western Massachusetts. Pros: Amazing vegan baker, great listener, might have a trust fund. Cons: Liable to change her name to "Melodious Crystal Windchime" or "Earthchild Womyn Rainbowrock." Looks especially good: At dusk, around the campfire. Care instructions: It may be necessary to press certain realities upon her--e.g., Tom's of Maine doesn't actually work; white people look stupid in dreds. And since she's going to insist on playing acoustic guitar anyway, it's probably worth it to invest in some lessons for her. via metroweekly.com The Activist Butch Example: Rea Carey Pros: Righteous passion is hot. Cons: A political defeat can make for a sullen couple of weeks. Looks especially good: In front of a microphone, speaking to a crowd. Care instructions: If she's like Rea, she'll look stellar in a suit. But not all activist butches keep professional duds in their closet, so make sure to help her stock her wardrobe for all occasions. And keep plenty of poster board and markers on hand. via prioloandco.com The Butch Sophisticate (aka The Silver Fox) Example: Kate Clinton Pros: Has plenty of practice, knows what she likes. Cons: Already knowing what she likes can make her stubborn as hell. Looks especially good: In expensive fabrics; in European cafes; stepping out of a cab. Care instructions: She's been there and done that, so you'll have to work to keep her interested. Music tastes may require updating. She has a lot to teach you, so get ready to learn. Butch Don Juan (not pictured) Commonly Found: In your local lesbian bar (even on weeknights). Pros: If you want to have some no-strings fun, she's your butch. Cons: Has slept with half the people in the bar; may wear excessive amounts of cologne; somewhat arrogant. Looks Especially Good: After you've had a few drinks. Care Instructions: Not suitable for long-term use, the Butch Don Juan will woo you for a few days, then drop you abruptly for the next shiny new femme who struts into town. That said, it may be a great few days. The trick is spotting this butch early, so you don't get duped into thinking she's going to stick around. courtesy SHukura The Slick Butch Example: SHukura (budding actor, pictured left) Pros: Can say "Hey baby" without it sounding cheesy or ironic. Cons: Knows how good she looks. Looks Especially Good: In leather; in gold. Care Instructions: Not to be confused with the Butch Don Juan, although the two species are closely related. The Slick Butch can be distinguished by the fact that instead of trying to pick you up, she'll hand you her number and leave the club early with a wink and a grin. Butch in Uniform (not pictured) Commonly Found: Police stations; fire departments; the military. Pros: She's a butch in uniform--what more do you need? Cons: Gets deployed to do various dangerous things on a regular basis. Looks Especially Good: In a white T-shirt and her uniform pants and boots. Care Instructions: Make sure her uniform is neatly pressed. Don't keep her up too late; she needs to get up in the morning. At night, her muscles may be sore, a problem you can easily solve by giving them a nice rub-down. via robinroemer.blogspot.com The Teddy Bear Butch Example: Julie Goldman Pros: Amazing cuddler; makes excellent scrambled eggs. Cons: May not get out of her PJs till noon if she can help it. Looks Especially Good: In boxers and a T-shirt. Care Instructions: The Teddy Bear Butch is closely related to the Classic Soft Butch; indeed, the subspecies sometimes overlap. If the Teddy Bear Butch has trouble getting out of bed, get an eyedropper full of coffee, place it between her lips, and gently release the coffee into her mouth. Repeat until her body is vertical. via gothamist.com Butch Cocktails Some butches are easily identified as one of the species I've discussed here, but some are a mixture of multiple species. This can make things confusing, but also fun. For example, here's one Butch Cocktail recipe: 2 parts Activist Butch + 3 parts Geeky/Intellectual Butch + a dash of Teddy Bear Butch + a tiny pinch of Hipster Butch = Rachel Maddow What's your butch cocktail of choice? Or: what butch cocktail are you?
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Here's Part Two of this Extremely Important Field Guide. Stay tuned for the third installment, which will include Rocker Butch, Granola Butch, and others! via androgynish.tumblr.com The Badass Butch Example: Skyler Cooper Pros: Can beat your brother in arm wrestling Cons: May make sure that your brother is aware of this. Looks especially good: On her motorcycle, and/or in a white tank top. (The Badass Butch is a close relative of the Biker Butch.) Care instructions: It may take a while for Badass Butches to open up to you, so be patient (they're a little like Handy Butches in this way). They know how hot they are, and they're used to getting away with stuff because of it. Don't assume they can't cook, or that they're stone. They just may surprise you! via topnews.in The Classic Soft Butch Example: Ellen DeGeneres Pros: Can take her home to Mom Cons: May be a little vanilla at times. Looks especially good: Greeting you at the door in casual clothes, totally clueless about how hot she looks. Care instructions: She may appear a little boring at first, but there's more to most Classic Soft Butches than meets the eye. Give her some time and you won't want to let her go. You'll have to ignore your friends, who may tell you that she's "not really butch." But you know better. via rashmanly.com The Handy Butch Example: Jenny Shimizu (well, when she's being a mechanic, not when she's modeling...). Pros: Good with her hands. Cons: Sometimes a little rough around the edges. Looks especially good: Under your hood with a dab of oil on her cheek. Care instructions: Higher maintenance than you might suspect. Be kind: under the gruff exterior is a sensitive woman (with, y'know, insecurities and stuff). She may not want to shower even after a day in the garage, but you can coax her in by offering to scrub her up. via curvemag.com Coach Butch Example: Jenny Allard Pros: Terrific with kids. Even if she doesn't have any children, she's her nieces' and nephews' favorite aunt. Cons: May have to be closeted, depending where she works. Looks especially good: in sunglasses, shouting from the the third base line. Care instructions: Her obsession with sports may be time consuming, so make sure you have a time-consuming hobby or job of your own. Remind her to wear sunscreen, and remember not to wash her lucky socks. via butchfagswagger.tumbler.com The Dandy Butch & The Dapper Butch Example of a Dapper: Susan Herr (not pictured), founder of DapperQ. Example of a Dandy: Bee Listy (pictured), blogger and stitcher extraordinaire. Pros: Will take you shopping and share her great taste and playful sense of style. Cons: May take longer than you do to get ready in the morning. Looks especially good: Out on the town, at Thanksgiving dinner... Anywhere she goes, she's got a dapper/dandy outfit for it. Care instructions: Dandy butches seem more likely than other butch varieties to swoon over other butches. Dapper Butches--maybe, maybe not. Dapper Butches and Hipster Butches share many commonalities, but Dappers are more earnest and own more bow ties. Both subspecies frequently use silk handkerchiefs (which match their outfits). More to come! While I have your attention, please take a sec to vote Butch Wonders for favorite lesbian blog of the year: http://lesbianlife.about.com/library/bl-rca-lesbian-blog.htm. You can vote daily, and I hope you will!
If you're like me, you adore butches. Maybe as buddies, maybe as lovers, or maybe as the friends best-equipped to help you on moving day. But you may be unaware of the sheer breadth of butch sub-species. For this reason, I've created a Field Guide to Butches to help you identify some of the butches around you. Remember, butches can be found everywhere, maybe even in your very own neighborhood! via Campfire Collective _The Geeky/Intellectual Butch Example: DeAnne Smith Pros: Smart as hell; acerbic wit; may make a good living if she ever gets out of graduate school. Cons: May insist on lecturing you about the literary implications of her favorite author's latest work; may be unable to cook or to fix anything. Looks especially good: Sprawled on your couch in her reading glasses. Care instructions: Requires only basic maintenance. Feeding should include a steady diet of used books from independent bookstores. Keep away from popular fiction--John Grisham, etc. May be vegetarian, so exercise caution before feeding beef, pork, chicken, or other meats. Looks dashing in plaid and corduroy. Try to get her some exercise, though she may be reluctant. via ESPN The Sporty Butch Example: Natasha Kai Pros: In incredibly good shape; easy-going and laid back (except when it comes to her own training); knows how to have fun. Cons: May spend more time with teammates than with you. Looks especially good: In motion. Care instructions: Limit her time in the gym to a max of 2-3 hours daily. Twice weekly, rub her sore muscles with Icy Hot. Like the Geeky Butch, the Sporty Butch is relatively low-maintenance. Make sure she gets enough protein. Also, she is more likely than other varieties of butches to wear her hair long, usually in a ponytail. via the Fab Femme The Hipster Butch Example: Sam McGinn Pros: Wonderful city guide, knows the best bars and music venues; possibly a good cook. Cons: May expend a ridiculous amount of effort trying to make things look effortless; may suddenly abandon music and fashion tastes if she believes her favorites have become too popular. Looks especially good: sipping a macchiato in SF's Mission District (west coast subspecies, pictured left) or in Williamsburg, Brooklyn (east coast subspecies, not pictured). Care instructions: Replace chain wallet every 1-2 years. Requires $60-$80 haircut once per month. Alcohol and caffeine consumption require balance, so be vigilant, yet liberal with both. Not to be confused with Bieber Butch (see below). via Back Seat Cuddler The Bieber Butch Example: Dani Campbell Pros: Never stops smiling. Cons: Never stops smiling. Looks especially good: At parties; on the beach; in photos. Care instructions: Often recognizable from her front or side-swept bangs, this butch looks great in everything from skinny ties to polo shirts. Will eat you out of house and home but never gain weight. Fragile ego, so proceed with caution. May not mix well with Geeky Butches, who may find Bieber Butches "tiresome." Do not take her to venues frequented by school field trips, or she may be swept onto the bus by a well-intentioned chaperone. via The Tyee The Artisan Butch Example: Alison Bechdel Pros: Sensitive, intelligent, multitalented; may cook, garden, fix things, etc. Cons: May resist dressing up; cash flow likely questionable. Looks especially good: Splattered with paint. Care instructions: Plays well with Geeky Butch. Probably vegan, so keep away from cheese, leather, and other animal products. Natural environs include Northampton and other small cities with liberal arts universities in them. Don't let the Artisan Butch fool you with her sensitivity; she can be fierce, too. If you'd like to see this side of her, start talking politics. There you have it, friends--Part I of the Field Guide to Butches. What other kinds of butches are out there that should be catalogued? Classic Soft Butch? Badass Butch? Handy Butch? Dandy Butch? Stay tuned for Part II!
One of my favorite things to read on your hundreds of responses to my butch job survey was your future ambitions--what you hope to be doing in five years. Most of you want to do something in (or related to) your current field. But a very substantial portion of you want to do something totally different. One elder care provider wants to be a tattoo artist, a mechanic wants to become a professional dog trainer, a college English prof wants to become a self-employed urban farmer, and there are lots and lots more.
These kinds of aspirations aren't just for the young 'uns, either. There's a paramedic who wants to become a spiritual lecturer and a flight attendant who wants to work at an independent coffee house. Both are in their fifties. I heard from plenty of other 40-, 50-, and 60-somethings, too. I love this, and it reminds me that we possess endless capacity for re-invention. (BTW, the courage and tenacity she showed in her own big career change is one of the things I admire most about my DGF!) A couple days ago, I went to a workshop about my current profession, and one topic we discussed was the "impostor syndrome." Those of us who have impostor syndrome often feel a little bit like a fraud, a little like we're "faking it." We hope that no one will find out that we don't really know what we're doing, because then they'll realize that we're not cut out for this after all! After that workshop, I thought a lot about you guys, particularly those who want to do something different with their careers or add a new pursuit to their lives (hey carpenter who wants to get involved in revolutionary politics--I'm talking to you!). I was thinking about how "impostor" syndrome tends to have an especially big affect on women, and I'm guessing this is particularly true for LGBT women, because we don't often look like all the other people in the profession we want to enter. This may go double for gender-nonconformists, people of color, and people from poor or working class backgrounds. The person you see in the mirror may not look exactly like the artist or fire fighter or food critic that you know most people have in their minds. (Our ability to overcome impostor syndrome as LGBT people, as queer people, as lesbians, and as non-gender-conforming people is especially important. The more we can overcome it and do all the things we want to do, the less it will leave the gay kids of the future feeling like impostors.) _ Imposter syndrome means that you don't give yourself enough credit for things. You look at what you've already accomplished and think it was due to chance or luck. You're plagued with self-doubt, and this self-doubt makes it more difficult for you to assert yourself and speak your mind. Not only does this make it harder to advance your career, but it also makes it more difficult for you to take risks, make advancements in your current career, or break into a new field. The best remedy for impostor syndrome is action. So here's my challenge for you: think of one small step you could take today to get closer to what you want to be doing in five years. Sit down and write a paragraph about your book idea. Register a domain name for a website you want to start. See if your local community college has classes that could count towards your counseling certification. After you've got that small step in mind, do it. Like, now. Not after you make dinner or read the news or play one more game of spider solitaire. Now. The more I read about impostor syndrome, the more I learn that the biggest thing separating those who make big life changes from those who don't is grit. Not talent, not intelligence, but the willingness to do something, and do it regularly, even on days when you feel like you're not making any real progress, and even if it seems like too small a step to be worthwhile. Yeah, I know it's not easy. And I know I'm being a little "rah-rah" here. But it's something I really believe in. It would mean the world to me if those of you thinking about starting something new could sit down now and devote 20 minutes to your next step. Then please come back and write a comment on this blog telling me what you've done; I'd love to hear it! |
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