In response to my last post, a reader named Tessa asked:
[W]hat are good ways to dress down a tie? I really enjoy wearing ties, especially at gay bars, where a woman in a tie isn't necessarily out of place. But I don't want to look like I'm trying to be formal when I'm just out dancing with my friends.

Great question!  I can certainly sympathize: I'm rarely in formal settings, yet leap at any semi-plausible opportunity to don neckwear.  Two key things to remember: (1) inject some whimsy and/or color and/or self-awareness; (2) keep the pants casual.  Let's check out a few approaches.

1. Throw on a colorful or super-casual jacket or sweater.  Check out the picture at left.  A white shirt and black tie alone would be way too formal.  The sweater with a T-shirt, too casual.  Combine 'em both, and the look is bold, fun, and colorful.  The two looks below illustrate the same idea.  A denim jacket (left), varsity-jacket (right; must be worn ironically), or even a black leather jacket are great ways to say, "Yeah, I'm wearing a tie.  And I'm having a freakin' blast doing it."

2. Pull a hat trick.  A casual hat, like the driver's cap this model is wearing (right), is dapper and does a nice job dressing down the tie.  The pants aren't super casual, but see how they're dressed down with a pair of Vans and a casual watch?  That ensures that you know she's going for a look, not just randomly throwing on the first hat she found in her closet.  (That watch is good for dressing down.  I got one on Amazon last year and it's held up great.  A steal for $14.96.  This calculator watch for $14.99 would do the trick, too.)

By the way, it helps to know thyself.  Be aware of your own look.  If you have a mohawk, or wear ear gauges/tunnels/plugs, or sport a bunch of visible tattoos, your look will likely be easier to dress down, since you already look less formal.  On the other hand, if you're like me and have none of the above, you're going to have to add one or two additional accouterments to dress down a tie to the same degree.

6. Cultivate the "self-aware nerd" look.  This is a close enough cousin of the un-self-aware nerd look that it can be a little risky, but it's definitely worth a shot.  Note the throwback glasses and rolled up sleeves?  The two butches below are totally stealing my fashion moves.

7. Mix prints.  Click on the pic at right if you can't see it well on your screen. (This guy is apparently a famous actor, but I'm not always clued in on the culture loop--e.g., my  recent introduction to the concept of "jeggings.")  He has on a red gingham print under a vest with a much larger pattern in beiges and browns.  His skin tone and musculature no doubt help, but the match works because he's mixed a small print with a large one (so the two don't compete), plus there's no color clash happening.  He's mixed prints, but only one color is poised to "pop."  If his vest was a green plaid, I'm not sure anyone could pull it off (well, except maybe Rachel Maddow).

Have a blast dressing down your ties, #teambutch!  And send in your pics--I want to see you rocking these looks. 

I love autumn for many reasons, but the top three are:
1. Pretty leaves.
2. Pumpkin pie.
3. It's tie season again!

As a few of you have mentioned to me, I've been pretty lousy about keeping the Butch Store up to date, but I hereby resolve to do better.  Not only do I make a whopping $9-$15 every month (because 5-6% of the proceeds go to support this site when you shop there), but making sure butches look good is a service to our great community.

With that in mind, I'm reviving the Butch Store, and promise to have more terrific, up-to-date recommendations for clothing and more, starting with ties.

(BTW, I've devoted previous posts to ties: why I love wearing ties but sometimes hesitate to, dos and don'ts of tie-buying, and an ode to wool ties, for starters.  You can see all my tie-related posts here.)

If men's fashion week, GQ, Esquire, and common sense are right, ties will be as popular as ever this late fall and winter.  Less emphasis on looking like Don Draper,  more emphasis on tailoring, wool, plaids, blues, and dark greys.  So check out the Butch Store to get started, and tell me what else I should add.

Have you rocked a tie yet this fall, dear readers?  What questions/concerns do you have about wearing ties?  Sometime this month I'm going to post a list of tie-wearing tips, so I'd love to hear your questions!

It's officially fall, which means that it's time for all us fashionable butches to break out our sweater vests and rock 'em!  To the left is today's BW getup: light grey Banana Republic shirt, black CK vest (well worn--probably time to replace it), and one of my favorite ties (Alfani: black, silver, and some different shades of pink and purple). 

Ah, I love sweater vests.  I've loved them since I was a high schooler and one of my favorite teachers wore them daily.  Even at 16 (holy cow--that was more than half my lifetime ago!), the combination of nerdiness, irony, and practicality appealed to me--although I didn't start wearing them myself until I came out as a lesbian and decided I could wear whatever I wanted. 

Breaking *some* social rules somehow frees me to break others.  When I'm not dressing how a woman is "supposed" to dress anyway, what do I care if people think a sweater vest is dorky, or calculator watches have come and gone (again), or that blondes shouldn't wear mauve lipstick? 

Just kidding about the lipstick(!), but you get my point: being seen as per se "deviant" already means there's more room to break rules, add some random pieces to your wardrobe, and have fun with what you wear.  Worry about what looks fashionable and hot and attractive on you.

What are some of the miscellaneous fun fashion items you've got in your closet this fall?

I just went shopping to help a male friend of mine buy casual clothes for work. I learned that I am not alone in having difficulty finding menswear that fits me well...

My friend is a small guy, but not tiny. He is probably 5 ft 6 or so, and very slim. Men's shirts with a 14.5 collar simply didn't fit him. For the most part, the sleeves were way too long — even the 32–33's — and so were the shoulders. The Banana Republic smalls were even too big, which I didn't know was humanly possible.  He was a good sport about it, and he and his girlfriend and I were eventually able to find a few — but just a few — shirts that fit.

Of course, I couldn't resist trying on a some shirts myself, whereupon I was once again confronted with the all-too-familiar problem of having boobs and hips. My neck is a 15.5, but if you have ever tried to button a 15.5 — or even a 16.5 — men's shirt over a pair of size Ds, you know how impossible it is. The 17.5 fits fine around the chest and hips, but is just way, way too big everywhere else. Of course, some brands work better than others (CK is my current go-to for shirts), but overall it was just one of those days where nothing fits quite right.

On days like this, sometimes I wish that I didn't have boobs or hips, or at least had less, um, ample ones. But my boobs and my hips are a part of me, and I feel comfortable with them; I just wish that the clothing I like worked for the body I have. Sigh.

I was also "sir'd" twice. (Usually, clerks aren't sure what to call me, so they don't use a pronoun at all.) One of those times was particularly awkward today. A salesclerk said, "Can I help you sir?" I turned around and he said, "oh, ma'am, I'm sorry." I said, "it's okay." He apologized again, and to try to make him feel less awkward, I said "I have a men's shirt on, so I understand." He looked at me a minute and then said, "Well, your haircut confuses us."

What?! Who is this "us?" And what is so incredibly confusing about a woman with short hair? The "confusion" point annoyed me in a way that being called sir never does. Grrr!

Holy crap, it's October!  If anyone knows how that happened, email me.

If you follow me on FB, you know I love T-shirts and have recently designed some that you can purchase for your very own!  $5 of each sale supports this site.  The rest goes to Skreened.  I chose them because they seem socially responsible (but they're not cheap!).  More designs coming soon.

With the plethora of independent T-shirt sellers out there, there's no excuse for parading your queer self around town in dull shirts that say things like "Quiksilver" (full disclosure: I love Quiksilver).  So I went to Etsy, found the coolest T-shirts, ordered 10-15 of them (some were donated), and wore them around for a couple months.  Here are my top picks (not in order, though the first two are probably my favorites!).

Ideaka
...And this is my close second favorite!  Chris, the owner of the Ideaka shop, specializes in designs that tend to incorporate maps, bicycles, and/or birds.  I get a ton of compliments every time I wear this shirt, and the quality of the printing is impressive.  Printed on an American Apparel shirt.  The price is steep, but I'd rather get this shirt than two Hurley tees at Target or something.  $28.

237inc
Lara, owner of 237inc, has some cool designs--some of which are explicitly queer (one of my favorites just says "gayish").  I don't love the Fruit-of-the-Loom shirt it was printed on, but I do love my "I heart coffee" design, especially the cool print job, which makes each shirt a little different from the next.  Reasonably priced.  $20.

myuniT
This is the softest T-shirt I've ever owned.  I'm not in love with this particular design (though I do like the "Grow More" one a lot).  The collar is a little larger and thinner than on other shirts.  I end up wearing it to sleep because it's so incredibly soft.  I guess it's made out of bamboo(?!).  $28.

TheSimpleLaugh
Yeah, this is a little dorky, but we all know that dorky is in.  Jodi Stiefvater's store, TheSimpleLaugh, caters to geocachers, map-lovers, and coffee drinkers.  Unfortunately, not all sizes and styles are available now; let's hope she makes more. $9.

RetroPopNamu
If you're looking for something a little different from the norm, but still cool, check out RetroPopNamu's store, which riffs on Japanese vintage style to create a variety of interesting designs.  I love my bullet train design (pictured right), although after 8-10 washes, the graphic is already fading a bit.  These shirts run a little larger than most, and the collar seems kind of thin and stretches out easily.  Still, it's a cool enough shirt that I'd buy from this store again.  $28.

Dark Cycle Clothing
Dark Cycle Clothing specializes in shirts of a few categories, the largest of which is "animals on bicycles."  While the print is way too big (and maybe a little too blatantly hipstery) for this shirt to be a favorite of mine, I like their art.  I suggest getting a higher-contrast shirt/print pairing than the squirrel one (pictured), which is what I have.  Printed on an organic American Apparel shirt.  $25.

phoenixcompost
This adamantly political, left-leaning, anarchist, feminist, environmentally-conscious shop prints on used tees from thrift stores.  A good idea, but I don't like not knowing the brand ahead of time--even though I ordered my usual size, the shirt I received ended up being way too big for me.  Plus, I didn't like that it was already a little pilled.  Still, an awesome idea.  $18.

There you have it--awesome tees to spice up your fall.  Yay for supporting Etsy and independent businesses!  And if you have a great idea for a BW shirt, let me know--we'll make it happen.